They looked like a pair of mismatched salt and pepper shakers. That was Carrie Fisher’s own description, anyway. He was the quiet, brooding poet of New York, and she was the fast-talking princess of a galaxy far, far away.
Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon didn't just have a relationship. They had a decade-long collision. It was a 12-year saga of breaking up, making up, getting married, getting divorced, and then—just for good measure—dating for several more years after the legal papers were signed. Honestly, it's the kind of chaos that would make a modern tabloid editor weep with joy.
The 1977 Spark and the "One and One-Half Wandering Jews"
They met in 1977. Carrie was filming Star Wars, a movie everyone thought would flop, and Paul was already a folk-rock deity. The attraction was instant. It was "one and one-half wandering Jews," as Paul would later write in his masterpiece, "Hearts and Bones."
Why the half?
Because Carrie’s father, Eddie Fisher, was Jewish, while her mother, the legendary Debbie Reynolds, was a Protestant from Texas. This detail wasn't just a clever lyric; it defined the cultural friction that made them gravitate toward each other. They moved into an apartment on Central Park West almost immediately.
But there was a problem. A big one.
Carrie was 21 and struggling with the "fame bubble" that comes with being Princess Leia. Paul was 36, cynical, and preferred the quiet of a recording studio to the flashbulbs of a Hollywood premiere.
💡 You might also like: Finding the Perfect Donny Osmond Birthday Card: What Fans Often Get Wrong
The Dan Aykroyd Interlude
By 1979, things were already falling apart. They split.
During this hiatus, Carrie ended up on the set of The Blues Brothers, where she met Dan Aykroyd. It’s one of those Hollywood stories that sounds fake but isn't: Aykroyd saved her life with the Heimlich maneuver when she choked on a Brussels sprout in a trailer. Naturally, he proposed ten minutes later.
"I thought, I better marry him. What if that happens again?" Carrie told the Chicago Tribune.
They got blood tests. They bought rings. But the pull of Paul Simon was too strong. She went back to New York. She went back to the man she called her "storybook lover."
The Wedding That Was Supposed to Fix Everything
In August 1983, they finally did it. They got married at Paul’s New York apartment. The guest list was a "who’s who" of the era: George Lucas, Lorne Michaels, Billy Joel.
But here is the reality: they got married because they were exhausted by breaking up. They thought a legal document might act as a structural beam for a house that was already leaning.
📖 Related: Martha Stewart Young Modeling: What Most People Get Wrong
It didn't work.
The marriage lasted 11 months. Just 11 months.
Paul later admitted in the documentary In Restless Dreams that he was "exhausted" by the emotional upheaval. Carrie, meanwhile, was grappling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and escalating drug use. In her memoir Wishful Drinking, she famously noted that she was a "good anecdote, but a bad reality." She couldn't provide the peaceful home life Paul craved. He couldn't provide the stability she needed.
The Post-Divorce Decade and the Amazon Vision
Most people think the story ends with the 1984 divorce. It doesn't.
They kept dating. For years.
They lived together on and off throughout the late 80s. Carrie helped raise Paul’s son, Harper. They were two people who couldn't live together but couldn't figure out how to be apart.
👉 See also: Ethan Slater and Frankie Grande: What Really Happened Behind the Scenes
The final, definitive break didn't happen in a lawyer's office. It happened in the Amazon rainforest around 1990. They had traveled to Brazil to see a spiritual healer. During a ceremony involving psychedelic tea, Carrie had a vision. She described feeling "pinned beneath Paul’s ever-spinning, ever-controlling brain."
She realized that his brilliance, while beautiful in a song, was stifling in a partnership. When they got back to the States, she left for good.
Why Their Story Still Matters
We remember Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon because they turned their pain into some of the greatest art of the 20th century. If you want to understand what it felt like to be inside that relationship, listen to these tracks:
- "Hearts and Bones": The definitive account of their trip to New Mexico and the "arc of a love affair."
- "Allergies": A song about how his heart was literally "allergic" to the women he loved.
- "She Moves On": Written after the final Brazil breakup. It’s bitter, beautiful, and haunting.
Carrie, for her part, used the relationship as fuel for her writing. She joked that "if you can get Paul Simon to write a song about you, do it."
Actionable Insights from a Turbulent Romance
What can we actually learn from this celebrity rollercoaster?
- Marriage isn't a Band-Aid: If a relationship is failing because of fundamental personality clashes, a wedding ceremony will likely only amplify the noise.
- The "Flower and Gardener" Theory: Carrie once said they were "two flowers" and no gardener. For a relationship to thrive, sometimes one person needs to be the stabilizing force (the gardener) while the other blooms. Two "wild energies" often just wilt each other.
- Art is the Best Revenge (and Therapy): Both parties took a messy, painful decade and converted it into work that helped millions of people understand their own heartbreaks.
- Friendship after Divorce is Possible, but Rare: They eventually reached a place of peace. When Carrie passed away in 2016, Paul’s tribute was simple: "Carrie was a special, wonderful girl. It’s too soon."
To truly appreciate the depth of their connection, revisit the Hearts and Bones album. It serves as a time capsule for a love that was too bright to last, but too meaningful to forget. You'll see that while they didn't work as a couple, they worked perfectly as a muse for one another.
Next Steps for Readers
- Listen to the "Hearts and Bones" title track while reading the lyrics to spot the specific references to their 1982 road trip.
- Watch the 2024 documentary In Restless Dreams on MGM+ for Paul Simon’s most recent, candid reflections on the marriage.
- Read Wishful Drinking to get Carrie’s hilarious, biting perspective on why she wasn't built for "traditional" wifehood.