Ben Rathbun is basically the poster child for why you shouldn't confuse a midlife crisis with a divine calling. If you watched Ben 90 Day Fiancé during Season 5 of Before the 90 Days, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The 52-year-old former pastor from Michigan didn't just walk into a relationship; he sprinted into a digital mirage. He fell for Mahogany Roca, a 24-year-old Peruvian woman who looked absolutely nothing like her filtered photos. People called him delusional. Others called him a predator. Ben? He just called it "God’s plan."
It was a train wreck in slow motion.
The story started with a few DMs. Ben, a fitness model who had left a strict religious cult-like background, thought he found his soulmate in a girl half his age who lived thousands of miles away. The red flags weren't just red; they were neon, screaming sirens. Mahogany refused to video chat. She took "loans" from him. She used filters that made her look like a Pixar character. Yet, Ben hopped on a plane to San Bartolo, convinced that every hurdle was just a test of his faith.
The San Bartolo Ghosting and the Train Story
When Ben arrived in Peru, Mahogany wasn't at the airport. She didn't even want him to come. Most guys would have booked a flight home, maybe had a cry in the hotel bar, and moved on. Ben? He sat in a restaurant alone and wrote a bizarre, long-winded story about a "runaway train" that he later read to her. It became an instant meme.
"Our love is like a train, and I’m jumping on, but you’re scared of the speed."
Honestly, it was painful to watch. Mahogany eventually showed up, looking significantly different from her photos, and the vibe was immediately off. She was cold. She was confused. She kept calling him "my friend" while he was trying to pick out wedding rings in his head. The power dynamic was skewed, but perhaps not in the way people expected. While Ben was the older man with the resources, Mahogany held every ounce of emotional leverage. She treated him like a nuisance she had to tolerate because the cameras were rolling.
Why the "God’s Plan" Narrative Rubbed Fans the Wrong Way
One of the biggest reasons Ben 90 Day Fiancé remains such a polarizing figure is how he used his faith to justify ignoring boundaries. In the world of reality TV, we see a lot of "hopeless romantics," but Ben’s brand of romance felt like spiritual gaslighting to some viewers. When Mahogany expressed discomfort or told him to slow down, Ben would pivot back to his belief that God had brought them together.
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It’s a classic case of confirmation bias disguised as piety.
If things went well, it was a blessing. If things went poorly, it was a "trial." There was no scenario where Ben was simply wrong. This created a massive rift in the 90 Day fanbase. On Reddit and Twitter, the consensus was largely that Ben was using his religious history to manipulate a younger woman. However, Ben argued that his intentions were pure and that he was simply "brave" enough to follow his heart regardless of the optics.
The Apartment Mystery and the "Paid Actress" Rumors
Remember the apartment? This was probably the peak of the season's drama. Ben visited Mahogany’s "home," and it looked like a staged Airbnb. There were no personal photos. The books on the shelf looked like they’d never been touched. Even the surfboards seemed like props.
Fans went wild.
The theory was that Mahogany was a paid actress hired by TLC to give Ben a storyline. People pointed out her shifting accent—sometimes sounding like a native Spanish speaker, other times sounding like she’d spent a decade in California. But the truth is usually less conspiratorial. Many young influencers in South America use rentals for filming to keep their actual locations private, or the production team helps secure a "cleaner" filming location. Still, for Ben, it was another sign that he was being lied to, and yet, he stayed. He didn't just stay; he doubled down.
Life After the Cameras: Arrests and Social Media Chaos
If you think the drama stopped when the season ended, you haven’t been following the headlines. Shortly after his season aired, Ben Rathbun was arrested.
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It wasn't related to the show, but it definitely impacted his reputation. In March 2022, he was picked up for a probation violation related to a 2020 OUI (Operating Under the Influence) and driving with a suspended license. He spent a night in jail. This was a massive blow to the "wholesome man of God" image he tried to project on TLC. He lost his job at a Michigan lupus charity shortly after the mugshot went viral.
But wait, there’s more.
In a twist that nobody—and I mean nobody—saw coming, Ben and Mahogany actually stayed together. For a while, they even started a YouTube channel where they tried to "expose" the editing of the show. They claimed the producers made Ben look more predatory and Mahogany look more disinterested than they actually were. Then, in late 2022, they announced they were engaged.
- They posted photos of a ring.
- They did a few awkward livestreams.
- They claimed they were moving to the U.S.
- Then... silence.
The relationship has been an endless cycle of "are they or aren't they?" They delete their Instagram photos of each other, then repost them six months later. It’s an exhausting game of digital hide-and-seek.
Reality vs. Reality TV: What We Can Learn
The saga of Ben 90 Day Fiancé is a masterclass in the dangers of the "sunk cost fallacy." Ben had invested so much money, reputation, and ego into the idea of Mahogany that he couldn't admit it was a mistake.
He had to make it work, or he’d have to admit he was just a guy who got catfished.
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From an SEO perspective and a human perspective, Ben’s story performs so well because it touches on universal fears: getting older, being lonely, and the fear of being fooled. We watch Ben because we want to believe we’d be smarter, but also because his relentless optimism is almost—almost—fascinating.
The Truth About the Filters
Mahogany eventually admitted to using filters, but her defense was basically "everyone does it." In the age of social media, she’s not entirely wrong. However, the gap between her digital self and her physical self was so wide it created a "catfish" narrative that defined the season. Ben’s willingness to overlook this was seen by some as true love and by others as a desperate need to possess a "trophy" regardless of the reality.
The Verdict on Ben and Mahogany Today
As of now, the couple claims to be married, though public records and physical proof are often hard to pin down with these two. They seem to thrive in the gray area between truth and performance. Ben continues to post fitness content and motivational "God-centered" messages, while Mahogany pops up occasionally to promote her various social media ventures.
They are the couple that won’t go away, mostly because they refuse to follow the standard "breakup" script.
How to Spot a "Ben" Situation in Your Own Life
If you’re navigating the world of international dating—or just dating in general—take a page out of the Ben 90 Day Fiancé handbook, but read it as a cautionary tale.
- Trust the lack of video: If they won't FaceTime, they aren't who they say they are. Period.
- Watch the money: Lending money to someone you've never met is a business transaction, not a romance.
- Listen to your friends: Ben’s kids and friends tried to warn him. He ignored them. Don't do that.
- Check the "God’s Plan" logic: If your religious beliefs are telling you to ignore someone's "no," that's not faith; that's a lack of respect for boundaries.
Ben Rathbun remains one of the most talked-about cast members because he represents the extreme end of "believing what you want to believe." Whether he’s a victim of love or a master of self-delusion depends entirely on which episode you’re watching.
To stay safe in the digital dating world, always verify the identity of the person you're talking to through multiple live video calls before financial or emotional investment. If a partner’s physical reality differs significantly from their online persona, acknowledge the deception early rather than trying to "save" the relationship through sheer willpower. Prioritize transparency over "signs" or "fate" to avoid the common pitfalls of long-distance dating scams.