Colleen Hoover’s sequel had a massive job to do. Everyone wanted to know if Lily Bloom finally got her "happily ever after" with Atlas Corrigan, but there was this massive, looming shadow over the whole story: Ryle Kincaid. If you finished It Ends with Us, you know Ryle wasn't just a "difficult" ex. He was dangerous. So, when people ask what happens to Ryle in It Starts with Us, they aren't usually looking for a redemption arc. They want to know if Lily is actually safe.
He's still there. He doesn't just vanish because the book ended.
Honestly, the way Hoover handles Ryle in the sequel is a bit of a reality check for anyone who thought he might suddenly see the light. He hasn't changed. If anything, the shared custody of their daughter, Emerson, makes him even more of a constant, simmering threat in Lily’s life. It’s heavy.
The Co-Parenting Nightmare
Lily is exhausted. She’s trying to run her floral shop, raise a baby, and navigate a brand-new relationship with Atlas, all while keeping Ryle at arm’s length. It's a tightrope walk. In It Starts with Us, Ryle’s presence is defined by his temper and his inability to accept that he no longer controls Lily. He’s still the same guy who thinks his charisma can mask his violence.
Early on, we see that the "good days" are just a performance. Ryle is technically in Emerson's life, but the logistics are a mess. Lily is terrified of him finding out about Atlas. She knows that the moment Ryle realizes she’s moved on—especially with the one person he’s always hated—the thin veneer of "civil co-parenting" is going to shatter.
And it does.
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There’s this specific tension in the chapters where Ryle shows up at Lily's apartment. You can feel her heart rate spike through the page. It’s a very real depiction of what life is like after leaving an abusive partner. The legal system doesn't just erase the person; it forces you to keep meeting them in parking lots for hand-offs.
The Discovery of Atlas
The breaking point happens when Ryle discovers Lily is seeing Atlas again. He doesn't take it well. That's an understatement. He’s explosive. He views Lily’s happiness as a personal insult, a betrayal of the "family" he thinks he deserves despite his actions.
When he finally sees them together, the reaction is visceral. He’s aggressive, verbally abusive, and physically imposing. He still tries to use his grief over his brother and his past trauma as a shield for his behavior, but the book—and Lily—aren't buying it anymore. This is where what happens to Ryle in It Starts with Us gets really interesting from a character perspective. He isn't the protagonist anymore. He's the obstacle.
He actually assaults Atlas. Well, he tries to. There’s a confrontation where Ryle’s rage boils over, and it’s a terrifying reminder that he hasn't done the work. He hasn't gone to therapy in any meaningful way. He hasn't addressed the root of his violence. He’s just been waiting.
Why There’s No Redemption Arc
A lot of readers were worried Hoover would try to "fix" Ryle. She didn't.
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That’s probably the most important thing to understand about his trajectory in this book. Real life doesn't always give the villain a "lightbulb" moment where they realize they were wrong and become a better person. Usually, they just get more bitter. Ryle is bitter. He’s jealous. He’s a man who lost the woman he loved because he couldn't stop hitting her, and instead of taking responsibility, he blames the guy she’s with now.
It’s frustrating to read, but it’s honest.
The Legal Turning Point
The climax of Ryle’s storyline isn't a big courtroom drama, but it is a legal shift. Lily finally finds her voice. For a long time, she was protecting him—protecting his career as a neurosurgeon, protecting his reputation, maybe even protecting the memory of who she thought he was.
But when his behavior starts to potentially affect Emerson, the game changes.
Lily eventually has to set hard boundaries. She uses the threat of legal action and the evidence of his past behavior to force a change in the custody arrangement. It’s not a "win" in the traditional sense because she still has to deal with him for the next eighteen years, but it’s a reclamation of power. She stops asking for his permission to be happy.
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Ryle ends the book as a man on the outside looking in. He’s still Emerson’s father, but he’s no longer the center of Lily’s universe. He’s a footnote she has to manage. He’s miserable, he’s angry, and he’s lonely. And frankly? That’s exactly where he belongs.
The Impact on the Reader
Seeing Ryle through Atlas’s eyes is a completely different experience. In the first book, we saw him through Lily’s love. We saw the "spark." In It Starts with Us, we see him for what he is: a bully. Atlas doesn't fear him the way Lily does, which changes the dynamic entirely. Atlas sees a man who needs help but refuses to get it.
The contrast between the two men is staggering. While Atlas is building a life based on consent, communication, and genuine care, Ryle is stuck in a cycle of ego and destruction. It makes the ending of the book feel earned.
Actionable Takeaways for Readers
If you’re reading this because you’re worried the book will be too triggering or if you’re looking for closure on the Ryle situation, here’s the bottom line.
- Don't expect a changed man. Ryle is the same person he was at the end of the first book. If you find depictions of domestic instability difficult, proceed with caution.
- Focus on Lily’s boundaries. The real story here isn't Ryle’s downfall, but Lily’s ascent. Watch how she uses her support system (like Marshall and Alyssa) to navigate Ryle's outbursts.
- Understand the "Grey Rock" method. While not explicitly named, Lily uses a lot of techniques similar to this—keeping communication brief, factual, and unemotional—to de-escalate Ryle.
- Look at the support systems. One of the most realistic parts of what happens to Ryle in It Starts with Us is how his own sister, Alyssa, has to choose Lily over him. It shows that being family doesn't mean enabling abuse.
Ultimately, Ryle remains a cautionary tale. He serves as a reminder that "sorry" doesn't fix a broken person, and love isn't enough to stop a cycle of violence. He ends the story exactly as he started the sequel: a man who has everything but understands nothing about how to keep it.