Growing up in the glare of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue isn't exactly a normal childhood. Most of us imagine it’s all secret service and fancy dinners. But for Malia and Sasha Obama, the reality was a lot more about trying to maintain a shred of normalcy while their mom, Michelle, was busy being the "Mom-in-Chief" of the entire country. Honestly, for a long time, we didn't hear much from them. They were protected. They were shielded.
Then came the Netflix documentary Becoming in 2020. That was the first time the world really got to hear, in their own words, what Michelle Obama's daughters say about her.
It wasn't some scripted PR stunt. It felt real. Malia, now 27, and Sasha, 24, have spent the last few years stepping out of the massive shadow of the presidency. They’ve moved to Los Angeles, they’re navigating careers in film and sociology, and they’ve finally started sharing what it was actually like having a mother who the rest of the world sees as a global icon, but they just see as "Mom."
The "Space" to Be Human: What Malia Observed
Malia has always been described as the more reflective one. In Becoming, she shared a sentiment that stuck with a lot of people. She talked about how the end of the presidency changed her mother. Malia noted that Michelle was finally "no longer facing that same scrutiny."
She basically said that seeing her mom able to let all that pressure leave her mind created "so much more space." It’s a heavy thing for a daughter to say. It implies Malia spent eight years watching her mother hold her breath.
Malia also shared a candid moment after one of Michelle's massive book tour events. She told her mom that seeing the thousands of people who came out to hear her was "living proof" that their family's eight years of hard work—and the sacrifices the girls made—wasn't for nothing. It was a rare acknowledgment that the daughters felt the weight of the legacy just as much as the parents did.
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Sasha’s Take: Pride and Independence
Sasha has always been the "wild card" in the best way. Michelle has described her as "like a cat"—independent, not a people-pleaser, and someone who moves at her own pace.
What does Sasha say about her mom? It’s mostly about pride. During that same rare interview, Sasha mentioned how excited she was for her mother to finally be proud of herself. She said, "I'm excited for her to be proud of what she's done because I think that that's the most important thing for a human to do is be proud of themselves."
It’s a very Gen Z perspective, right? Very focused on internal validation. Sasha didn't talk about the "First Lady" titles or the initiatives. She talked about her mother as a human who deserved to feel good about her accomplishments.
Different Personalities, Different Relationships
Michelle recently opened up on her IMO podcast about how she had to "parent to the child."
- Malia (The Peacekeeper): She would apparently "manage" her dad, Barack. She’d tell Michelle, "I'm going out this weekend, but I'm going to go in and give dad, like, 15 minutes." She’d go talk to him about Syria or policy just to make him feel included before she headed out.
- Sasha (The Boundary Setter): Sasha didn't do that. Michelle recalls Sasha basically telling them, "I'm not here to please you." She was much more about setting boundaries, which Michelle says actually helped her and Barack learn how to be better parents to adult children.
The Famous "I'm Done Parenting" Incident
One of the funniest stories that has come out recently—and one that reveals a lot about the girls' dynamic with Michelle—is the "Done Parenting" moment.
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Michelle told a story from when the girls were tiny, maybe 7 and 3. Barack was traveling, the girls were being "rambunctious," and Michelle finally just snapped. She told them, "Well, that’s it. I’m done parenting. You guys seem to have this figured out, so have at it."
The reactions? They tell you everything.
- Malia immediately started crying and taking off her clothes to get ready for bed, begging, "Mommy, no, I can't do without you!"
- Sasha (the 3-year-old!) just looked at her, grabbed her blanket, turned around, and went back upstairs to watch TV.
Basically, Sasha was like, "Finally, I’ve been waiting for this lady to quit."
Moving Beyond the Last Name
The biggest thing Malia and Sasha are "saying" right now isn't through interviews—it's through their actions. Malia notably dropped "Obama" from her professional credits. When she premiered her short film The Heart at Sundance in 2024, she was credited as Malia Ann.
Michelle talked about this on the Sibling Revelry podcast with Kate and Oliver Hudson. She said the girls are "very sensitive" to the idea that they haven't earned their way. They don't want people to think things were just handed to them. By dropping the name, Malia is effectively saying she wants her work to speak for itself, separate from the "Michelle's daughter" label.
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What This Tells Us About the Obama Legacy
When you look at everything what Michelle Obama's daughters say about her, a clear picture emerges. It’s not a picture of a perfect, untouchable First Family. It’s a picture of two young women who:
- Value their mother's mental health over her public image.
- Are fiercely protective of their own independence.
- Acknowledge the "nightmare" (Michelle's words) of growing up in the tabloid spotlight.
- See their mother as a mentor ("Advisor-in-Chief") rather than an authority figure.
There’s a lot of mutual respect there. They’ve moved into a "roommate" phase of life, where the girls live together in LA and the parents are back in DC or Martha’s Vineyard. They text constantly—mostly Barack worrying about them walking alone at night—but the dynamic has shifted to one of peers.
Actionable Insights for Parenting Like a "Mom-in-Chief"
You don't have to live in the White House to use the "Obama method" of navigating the parent-adult child relationship.
- The "Gladness" Rule: Michelle often quotes Toni Morrison, saying that kids don't need us to "fix" them when they walk into a room; they just need to see our "gladness" that they are there. Try greeting your kids (even adult ones) with a smile before you point out their wrinkled shirt.
- Parent the Individual: Don't use a "one size fits all" approach. If one child needs a sounding board (Malia) and the other needs space (Sasha), give them that.
- Step Back Gracefully: Transitioning from "Manager" to "Advisor" is hard, but necessary. Let them drop the metaphorical "last name" and make their own mistakes.
The transition from the White House to the "real world" wasn't just a political shift; it was a family one. Hearing what Malia and Sasha say about Michelle today makes it clear that while they respect the First Lady, they love the "Mom" who finally has the "space" to just be herself.
To keep up with how the Obama family is navigating their post-presidency lives, you can follow Michelle's The Light Podcast or look for Malia Ann’s future film projects, which continue to showcase her unique voice away from the political spotlight.