You’re standing there. The music is a little too loud, the floor is slightly tacky under your shoes, and a bartender with a forearm tattoo is staring you down, waiting for a decision. It’s a high-pressure moment. Most people panic and blurt out "vodka soda" or "whatever beer is on tap." It’s boring. Honestly, it’s a waste of a good night out. If you've ever wondered what drinks to order at the bar that actually taste like something other than rubbing alcohol or watered-down juice, you have to look past the generic rail drinks.
Bars are loud. They're chaotic. But they are also places of craft, even the dives. Knowing what to ask for isn't about being a snob; it's about getting your money's worth. A standard cocktail in a major city like New York or Chicago can easily run you $18 these days. If you’re paying that much, you shouldn’t be drinking something that tastes like a mistake.
The Psychology of the Drink Order
Ordering a drink is a social contract. You want something fast, the bartender wants to move to the next customer, and the people behind you want you to get out of the way. This is why "complex" drinks often fail. If you order a Ramos Gin Fizz—a drink that famously requires several minutes of shaking—on a Saturday night at a packed club, the bartender will secretly, or perhaps openly, hate you.
Stick to the environment.
In a dive bar, you order a "bottled beer and a shot." It’s a classic for a reason. In a cocktail lounge, you lean into the bitters and the fresh citrus. The biggest mistake people make is trying to order a "fancy" drink in a place that clearly uses plastic cups and neon-colored mixers. You have to read the room. If you see a row of dusty bottles and a sour mix gun, do not order a Whiskey Sour. You will get a glass of neon-yellow syrup that will give you a headache before you even finish the drink.
The Reliable Classics That Never Miss
When you’re stuck on what drinks to order at the bar, the classics are your best friend. But even "classics" have tiers.
An Old Fashioned is the gold standard. It’s just bourbon (or rye), sugar, bitters, and an orange peel. It’s sturdy. If a bar has decent whiskey, they can make this. However, be wary of the "muddled salad" version where they crush a neon cherry and a giant orange slice into a pulp at the bottom of the glass. That’s a relic of the 1970s that won't die. A real Old Fashioned should be clear, dark, and cold.
Then there’s the Negroni.
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It’s an acquired taste. Equal parts gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari. It’s bitter. It’s bright red. It tells the bartender you know exactly what you’re doing. It’s also nearly impossible to screw up because the ratios are so simple. If you find the Negroni too intense, ask for a Negroni Sbagliato, which replaces the gin with prosecco. It’s lighter, fuzzier, and gained massive internet fame a couple of years ago for a reason—it’s actually delicious.
What Drinks to Order at the Bar When You’re at a Dive
Dive bars are the soul of the American drinking experience. They aren't the place for fresh-squeezed lime juice or house-made tinctures. In these spots, you want drinks with two ingredients.
- Gin and Tonic: Clean, crisp, and hard to mess up. Ask for a lime. Actually, ask for two.
- 7 and 7: Seagram’s 7 Crown Whiskey and 7-Up. It’s sweet, bubbly, and nostalgic.
- Highball: This is just Japanese marketing for "whiskey and soda," but it works everywhere. It’s hydrating, which is a plus if you’re planning on staying out late.
- The Pickleback: A shot of Jameson followed by a shot of pickle juice. Don't knock it until you've tried it. The brine neutralizes the burn of the whiskey instantly.
I’ve seen people try to order a Mojito at a dive bar. Please, don't be that person. Finding fresh mint in a dive bar is like finding a unicorn, and even if they have it, it’s probably been sitting in a fridge since the Bush administration.
The "Secret" Menu of Low-Stress Orders
If you want something that feels sophisticated but is actually very easy for a busy bartender to whip up, try the Americano. No, not the coffee. It’s Campari, sweet vermouth, and soda water. It’s the predecessor to the Negroni and it’s much lower in alcohol. You can drink three of these and still remember where you parked your car.
Another sleeper hit is the Dark 'n Stormy. It’s just Goslings Black Seal Rum and ginger beer with a squeeze of lime. It’s spicy, dark, and refreshing. Note: technically, it can only be called a Dark 'n Stormy if it uses Goslings rum because they trademarked the name. If they use another rum, it’s just a "rum and ginger," but it’s still great.
For the gin lovers who want to move past the tonic, order a Tom Collins. Gin, lemon juice, sugar, and soda. It’s basically boozy lemonade. It’s incredibly refreshing on a summer night.
Understanding Your Spirits
You don't need to be an expert, but knowing the difference between a "well" drink and a "call" drink changes everything. The "well" is the cheap stuff kept in the rail right in front of the bartender. It’s usually fine for mixers. A "call" is when you specify the brand, like "Tito’s and soda" or "Hendrick’s and tonic."
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If you’re ordering a martini, you must specify gin or vodka. A traditional martini is gin. If you want vodka, you have to say it. And for the love of all things holy, decide if you want it "dirty" (with olive brine) or with a "twist" (lemon peel) before the bartender asks.
The Rise of Modern "Workhorse" Cocktails
The industry has shifted. There are now "modern classics" that almost every craft bartender knows by heart. If you find yourself in a place with leather booths and bartenders wearing vests, these are the what drinks to order at the bar options that show you have taste.
- The Paper Plane: Equal parts bourbon, Aperol, Amaro Nonino, and lemon juice. It’s balanced, herbal, and looks beautiful in a coupe glass.
- The Penicillin: Scotch, lemon, honey-ginger syrup, and a float of smoky Islay scotch on top. It’s medicinal in the best way possible.
- The Espresso Martini: It’s back with a vengeance. It’s basically the vodka Red Bull for people who have 401ks. Just make sure the bar actually has an espresso machine; otherwise, you’re getting cold brew concentrate and it’s just not the same.
How to Not Get a Hangover (Or At Least Try)
Sugar is the enemy.
When you’re deciding what drinks to order at the bar, the ones that lead to the worst mornings are the ones packed with sugar. Margaritas made with "house mix," Long Island Iced Teas, and anything with "Blue Curacao" are essentially liquid hangovers. The sugar masks the alcohol, so you drink more, and then the sugar crashes while the alcohol is still processing.
If you're worried about the next day, stick to "spirit-forward" drinks like a Martini or a Manhattan, or long drinks with lots of bubbles like a Paloma (tequila, grapefruit soda, lime). The Paloma is arguably better than a Margarita anyway—it’s less cloying and more refreshing.
A Note on Tipping and Etiquette
Your drink order is only half the battle. How you order matters.
Never wave cash or a credit card at a bartender. They see you. They have a mental queue. When it is your turn, have your payment ready. If you’re in the US, the standard is $2 per drink for simple orders and 20% of the total bill for complex rounds or food. If you’re at a high-end cocktail bar where a drink takes five minutes to build, tip more.
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And if you’re ordering for a group, have the whole order ready. Don't order one drink, wait for it to be made, and then say "Oh, and a Guinness." That’s how you end up waiting twenty minutes for your next round.
Why Your "Standard" Might Be Wrong
We often get stuck in a rut. You might think you hate tequila because of a bad experience in college involving a gold bottle with a plastic red hat. That wasn't real tequila. That was "mixto," which is 51% agave and 49% sugar and chemicals.
Try a Tequila Soda with a brand that says "100% De Agave." It’s a completely different experience. It’s earthy and clean.
The same goes for Gin. If you think it tastes like "pine trees," try a modern style gin like The Botanist or Aviation. They lean more into citrus and floral notes than the heavy juniper of a London Dry.
The Final Decision
At the end of the day, the best drink is the one you actually enjoy drinking. But don't be afraid to experiment. Next time you're out, skip the "safe" choice.
If you're at a nice place, tell the bartender: "I like gin and citrus, nothing too sweet, what do you recommend?" This is called "Dealer's Choice." Most bartenders actually love this because it lets them use their skills rather than just pouring another light beer.
Take Action for a Better Bar Experience:
- Audit your "usual": If you always order the same thing, ask yourself if you actually like it or if it’s just a habit.
- Check the back bar: Before ordering, look at the bottles. If you see brands you recognize and like, it’s a good sign the cocktails will be decent.
- Hydrate between rounds: The 1:1 ratio (one water for every drink) is the only real way to survive a long night.
- Learn one "signature" drink: Find one drink that you love and learn how it's supposed to taste. This becomes your "control" for testing out new bars. If they can’t make a good version of your favorite simple drink, they probably shouldn’t be trusted with the complicated stuff.
- Respect the "Last Call": When the lights go up, the party is over. Order your last round quickly and be ready to close your tab.