You’ve heard the word a thousand times. Maybe it was in a LinkedIn post about "cultivating a growth mindset" or a stiff corporate memo about "cultivating synergy." It sounds nice. It sounds productive. But honestly, most people use it as a fancy synonym for "doing stuff," and that’s just not right.
What does cultivating mean, exactly?
If we’re being literal, it’s about dirt. It’s the act of breaking up soil, removing the weeds, and making sure a plant has a fighting chance to survive. But when we apply it to our lives, our careers, or our relationships, it becomes something much more nuanced. It’s not just "growth." Growth can be accidental. You can grow a tumor. You can grow a patch of weeds without trying. Cultivation, however, is aggressive intentionality.
It’s the difference between letting a relationship "happen" and actually building one.
The Literal Roots (and Why They Matter)
In agriculture, cultivation isn't just planting a seed and walking away. It’s the prep work. Farmers use cultivators to stir the soil. This does two big things: it aerates the ground so the roots can breathe, and it kills off the competition—the weeds.
Think about that for a second.
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To cultivate something, you have to kill something else. You can't cultivate a deep focus on your career if you're also trying to cultivate a "party every night" lifestyle. The soil only has so much nitrogen. Your life only has so much time. If you want the corn to grow, the crabgrass has to go. It’s a zero-sum game in the dirt, and it’s usually a zero-sum game in your schedule, too.
What Does Cultivating Mean in a Modern Context?
We use this word for abstract things now. Mindsets. Communities. Skills.
When a mentor says they want to cultivate your talent, they aren't saying you’re already perfect. They're saying you’re a patch of ground with potential, but you’ve probably got some rocks and weeds in the way. They’re going to help you rake through the mess.
Cultivating a Mindset
This is the big one. Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist who basically wrote the bible on this (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success), talks about the "growth mindset." But even she notes that you don't just "have" it. You cultivate it.
It means every time you fail, you’re tilling the soil. You’re looking at the mistake, breaking it apart, and seeing what nutrients you can pull from it for the next season. It’s a slow process. You don't wake up with a new mindset. You earn it through repetitive, often boring, maintenance.
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Cultivating Relationships
This isn't about networking. God, I hate that word. Networking feels like hunting—you go out, you grab a lead, you bring it home. Cultivating a relationship is more like being a gardener. You check in. You provide value without expecting an immediate fruit. You realize that some seasons are for planting (introductions) and some are for harvests (asking for favors). If you only show up when you’re hungry, you haven't cultivated anything. You’re just a scavenger.
The Three Stages of Real Cultivation
Most people fail because they skip the first step and get bored by the third.
- Preparation (The Clearing): This is the hardest part. If you want to cultivate a new skill, like coding or painting, you have to clear the "weeds" of your current habits. This might mean deleting TikTok or waking up an hour earlier. It’s messy. It’s not fun. It’s just dirt and sweat.
- Sowing (The Intent): This is where you actually start. You take the specific "seed"—the goal—and put it in the ground.
- Maintenance (The Long Game): This is where 90% of people quit. Cultivation is daily. It’s watering the plant when it looks like nothing is happening. It’s the boring middle.
Why We Struggle With It
We live in a world that loves "hacks." We want the 5-minute solution. But you can't "hack" cultivation. You can't make a tomato grow in two days by screaming at it or giving it 40 gallons of water all at once. It takes what it takes.
The "what does cultivating mean" question usually comes from a place of wanting to improve. But improvement is often marketed as an additive process—more books, more supplements, more followers. Real cultivation is often subtractive. It’s removing the distractions so the core thing can actually breathe.
Actionable Steps to Cultivate Anything
Stop looking for a shortcut. There isn't one. If you want to actually cultivate a skill, a habit, or a life you like, follow the dirt.
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Audit your soil.
Look at where you’re spending your energy. Is your "soil" too crowded? If you’re trying to cultivate five different hobbies at once, none of them will have deep roots. Pick one. Kill the rest for now.
Identify the weeds.
What is actively taking nutrients away from your goal? Is it a toxic friend? A bad habit? An ego that can’t handle being a beginner? Be ruthless. A gardener who feels sorry for the weeds ends up with a dead garden.
Focus on the environment, not just the seed.
A lot of people focus on the "seed" (the goal). "I want to be a millionaire." Cool. But what’s the environment? If the environment is a desk covered in trash and a schedule with no blocks of deep work, that seed is going to die. Change the environment to suit the goal.
Accept the seasons.
You can’t harvest in the winter. There will be times in your life where you are cultivating and nothing is "blooming." You feel like a failure because you don’t have anything to show for your work yet. That’s just how nature works. Trust the process of maintenance.
Get your hands dirty.
Theory is great. Reading articles like this is a start. But cultivation is a physical, active verb. It requires you to actually do the work, fail, get frustrated, and keep tilling anyway.
Start by picking one thing you’ve been "letting happen" and decide to cultivate it instead. Whether it's your health, your craft, or your connection with your kids, treat it like a garden. Watch for the weeds. Water it daily. Don't expect a harvest tomorrow.