Let's be real for a second. Most of us have a "playlist" of about three moves we cycle through like a tired Spotify radio station. You start with one, transition to the next when things feel a bit stale, and finish with the "old reliable." But when people search for what are good sex positions, they aren't usually looking for a gymnastics routine or a diagram that requires a degree in structural engineering. They're looking for a way to actually feel something more—or something different.
Sex is weirdly personal and universal all at once. What works for a couple with a significant height difference might be a total disaster for someone dealing with chronic lower back pain. It’s about angles. It’s about friction. Honestly, it’s mostly about how much effort you’re willing to put in before you just want to take a nap.
The Science of Why Certain Angles Just Hit Different
We have to talk about the anatomy if we’re going to be serious here. Dr. Laurie Mintz, an author and professor who focuses on the "pleasure gap," often points out that for many women, penetration alone isn't the ticket to an orgasm. That’s just biological reality. So, when asking what are good sex positions, the answer has to involve more than just "where do the legs go?" It has to involve how to maximize clitoral stimulation or how to hit the anterior vaginal wall—often called the G-spot—with enough consistency to actually matter.
Think about the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). It sounds like something you’d do to your car’s tires, right? But it’s actually a variation of missionary where the person on top moves further up, so their pelvis grinds against the clitoris. It’s less about "pounding" and more about a rhythmic, rocking motion. It changes the entire dynamic of the most basic position in the world.
Forget the Kama Sutra Expectations
Social media and adult films have skewed our perception of what "good" looks like. If you're trying to wrap your legs around someone's neck while balancing on a yoga ball, you're probably going to end up in the ER, not in bliss. Real experts, like those at the Kinsey Institute, suggest that the "best" positions are usually just slight modifications of the classics.
Variation matters. It really does. But "variation" doesn't mean "novelty for the sake of novelty." It means finding the specific tilt of the pelvis that makes your toes curl.
Why Doggy Style is Both Loved and Hated
Ask ten people what are good sex positions and at least eight will say doggy style. It’s a classic for a reason. It allows for deep penetration and a great view. But it’s also the position most likely to result in "bottoming out," which can be legitimately painful for the person being penetrated if the cervix is hit too hard.
How do you fix that?
Easy. Don't just stay on all fours. Have the person in front drop down onto their elbows. Or, even better, lie flat on your stomach with a pillow under your hips—this is often called "Prone Bone." It narrows the vaginal canal and changes the angle of entry, making everything feel much tighter and more intense without the awkwardness of trying to keep your balance on shaky knees.
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It’s these tiny shifts—moving a pillow three inches or shifting weight from hands to elbows—that actually define a "good" position.
Let’s Talk About The "Lazy" Favorites
Sometimes you’re tired. Work was long. The kids finally fell asleep. You want intimacy, but you don’t want to run a marathon. This is where "Spoons" comes in.
Spooning is the underrated MVP of sex positions.
- It’s intimate.
- It’s low effort.
- It allows for full-body contact.
- Skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone."
When you’re spooning, the person behind can reach around. It’s perfect for slow, lazy mornings. It’s not flashy. You won't see it highlighted in a "50 Wildest Positions" listicle, but in terms of actual long-term relationship satisfaction? It’s top-tier.
When You Want to Take Control: The Power of Being on Top
A lot of the conversation around what are good sex positions revolves around the "Woman on Top" or "Cowgirl" dynamic. The benefit here is obvious: control. You control the depth, the speed, and the angle. But a lot of people get bored here because they think they just have to bounce up and down like they’re on a trampoline.
That’s exhausting. And frankly, it’s not always that pleasurable.
Try leaning forward. Put your hands on the headboard or your partner's chest. This changes the friction. Or, try "Reverse Cowgirl," but instead of staying upright, lean back and hold onto your partner's ankles. It sounds complicated, but it’s really just about shifting the center of gravity.
Dealing with Height Differences
If one partner is 6'2" and the other is 5'2", standing sex is a nightmare unless someone brought a step stool. It's just awkward. In these cases, the edge of the bed is your best friend. Having one person lie on the bed with their hips at the very edge while the other stands or kneels on the floor levels the playing field. It saves your knees, saves your back, and keeps the focus on the sensation rather than the logistics.
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The Role of Props (Yes, Pillows Count)
You don't need a dungeon to use props. A standard firm pillow is the single most effective tool for improving sex. By placing a pillow under the hips during missionary, you tilt the pelvis upward. This simple adjustment allows for better G-spot stimulation and makes deep penetration easier and more comfortable.
It’s a game-changer.
Most people don't do it because it feels "unnatural" to stop and grab a pillow. But honestly? The thirty seconds it takes to adjust is worth the ten-fold increase in pleasure.
Moving Past the Physical: The Mental Aspect
We can talk about what are good sex positions until we're blue in the face, but if the communication isn't there, the position won't matter. Researchers like Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, emphasize that the brain is the primary sex organ. If you’re stressed about your taxes or wondering if you left the oven on, "The Lotus" position isn't going to do much for you.
Good positions are ones where you feel safe, uninhibited, and connected. Sometimes that means eye contact. Sometimes it means the exact opposite—focusing entirely on the physical sensation while being blindfolded or having your back turned.
A Quick Word on "The Best"
There is no objective "best." There is only "best for right now."
What felt amazing last Tuesday might feel "meh" tonight. Our bodies change. Our sensitivity fluctuates. If you’re dealing with any kind of physical limitation—maybe a bad hip or a sore shoulder—the "good" position is the one that doesn't hurt.
- Side-lying: Great for pregnancy or back pain.
- Modified Missionary: Legs on shoulders for deeper access.
- Chair Sex: Great for a change of scenery and built-in support.
Breaking the Routine Without Feeling Awkward
The biggest hurdle isn't the physical act of trying a new position; it's the "I feel like a dork" factor. You’re mid-act and you want to try something you saw in a movie, but you’re afraid it’ll look stupid.
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Newsflash: Sex is inherently a bit goofy. There are weird noises. Limbs get tangled. Someone might fall off the bed.
The most satisfied couples are the ones who can laugh when a new position fails. If you try to transition into something and it just doesn't work, laugh it off and go back to what does. The goal isn't to execute a perfect 10/10 performance. The goal is to enjoy each other.
Actionable Steps for Better Intimacy
If you're looking to actually improve your experience rather than just reading about it, here is how you actually implement this stuff without it feeling like a chore.
First, identify the "Why." Why do you want to change positions? Is it for more clitoral stimulation? Is it for deeper penetration? Is it just because you're bored? Knowing the goal helps you pick the right move. If you want more "feeling," look for positions that involve "grinding" rather than "thrusting."
Second, use the "Slight Adjustment" rule. Don't try a brand-new, complex position tonight. Instead, take your favorite position and change one thing. If you like missionary, put a pillow under the hips. If you like doggy style, drop to your elbows. If you like being on top, try facing away. These small shifts are much easier to pull off and often yield better results than trying to learn a whole new "routine."
Third, talk about it outside the bedroom. It’s way less awkward to say "Hey, I read about this pillow trick" while you're eating dinner than it is when you're in the heat of the moment.
Ultimately, finding what are good sex positions is a process of elimination. You’re going to find things you hate. You’re going to find things that make you cramp up. But eventually, you’ll find those two or three "tweaks" that turn a standard night into something memorable.
Focus on the tilt of the pelvis. Prioritize comfort over aesthetics. Don't be afraid to use the furniture. Intimacy isn't about being a porn star; it's about being an explorer of your own—and your partner's—anatomy. Stop worrying about the "right" way to do it and start paying attention to what actually feels good. That’s the only metric that matters.
Check the alignment of your hips next time you're in missionary. Seriously. Just that one shift, tilting the pelvis up toward your partner, can change the entire sensation from "fine" to "incredible." Experiment with the height of your surfaces—the bed, the couch, the kitchen counter—to find where your natural heights align most comfortably. Comfort is the foundation of pleasure; you can't reach a peak if you're worried about your foot falling asleep.