Hollywood is a place of ghosts, and Robert Wagner is one of the few living legends left to tell the tales. At 95, "RJ" has lived through the studio system, the television boom, and some of the most enduring mysteries in pop culture history. But lately, people aren't just asking about the night Natalie Wood disappeared off the Splendour. They’re asking a question that sounds like it belongs in a 1950s gossip rag: Was Robert Wagner gay? Or maybe bisexual?
It’s a weird question to ask about a man who has been married four times (twice to the same iconic woman) and has a list of famous female exes that looks like the front row of the Oscars. Yet, the rumor persists. It’s not just a internet troll thing. It comes from inside the family—specifically from Natalie Wood’s sister, Lana Wood.
Where did the Robert Wagner gay rumors even come from?
Most of this smoke traces back to one specific, explosive claim. Lana Wood, Natalie’s sister, has spent years being a thorn in Wagner’s side. In her 2021 memoir and several high-profile interviews, she dropped a bombshell: she says Natalie caught Wagner in bed with another man.
According to Lana, this happened in June 1961. She claims Natalie came home and found her husband "in the arms of another man." The man in question? Supposedly their live-in butler or valet, David Cavendish. Lana says this was the real reason the Golden Couple’s first marriage imploded so suddenly in 1962.
Honestly, it’s a heavy accusation. If true, it would recontextualize everything we know about their "fairytale" romance. But we have to look at the source. Lana and Robert have been at war for decades. She basically blames him for her sister’s death in 1981, so they aren't exactly on speaking terms.
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Wagner himself has flat-out denied it. In his own books, like Pieces of My Heart, he paints a very different picture. He talks about his deep love for Natalie and his numerous affairs with women—big names like Joan Crawford, Elizabeth Taylor, and a secret four-year romance with Barbara Stanwyck when he was just 22.
The Christopher Walken of it all
Then there's the boat. You can't talk about Robert Wagner without talking about that tragic night in November 1981. Natalie Wood, Robert Wagner, and actor Christopher Walken were on the yacht.
Rumors have swirled for years that there was more than just "acting talk" happening on that deck. Some theorists—mostly on deep-dive forums and in unauthorized biographies—suggest that the "argument" that led to Natalie’s death was triggered by her jealousy. Not of another woman, but of the bond between Wagner and Walken.
There is zero hard evidence for this. Walken has barely spoken about that night, and when he does, he keeps it strictly about the tragedy. But the "bisexual" tag has stuck to Wagner in certain circles because of the sheer intensity of the drama surrounding that weekend. People love a complicated motive, and in the 80s, "secret sexuality" was the ultimate Hollywood motive.
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A "Ladies' Man" image vs. Private Reality
Wagner was the ultimate "ingenue" in the 1950s. He was the boy next door with the perfect hair. In those days, the studios—specifically 20th Century Fox—worked overtime to make sure their male stars looked like red-blooded American heartthrobs.
He’s been married to:
- Natalie Wood (1957–1962)
- Marion Marshall (1963–1971)
- Natalie Wood (again, 1972–1981)
- Jill St. John (1990–Present)
He’s currently been with Jill St. John for over 40 years. That’s a lifetime in Hollywood. If he was leading a double life, he’s been incredibly consistent with his "public" one.
Some fans point to his memoir where he mentions being hit on by gay men in the industry. He writes about it with a sort of "that's just show biz" shrug. Some read that as him being comfortable in his skin; others see it as a "doth protest too much" situation.
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The nuance of Old Hollywood sexuality
We have to remember that "gay" and "straight" were much more rigid boxes back then. Many stars of that era, like Rock Hudson or Tab Hunter, lived double lives because they had to.
Was Robert Wagner gay? There is no proof. Was he bisexual? Only he knows for sure. But the allegations from Lana Wood created a narrative that hasn't gone away because it fits into the "mystery" of his life.
It’s possible that the "gay affair" story was a way for Natalie’s camp to explain a messy divorce without admitting to other issues, like Robert’s reported temper or Natalie’s own rumored flings. Or, perhaps, it was the literal truth. Without a confession or more witnesses, it remains one of those "he said, she said" Hollywood enigmas.
What we know for sure
Regardless of his orientation, Robert Wagner’s legacy is tied to the women he loved. He raised Natalie’s daughter, Natasha, as his own. He has maintained a dignified, if somewhat guarded, presence in the public eye for nearly a century.
If you're looking for a smoking gun, you won't find it. What you will find is a man who lived through a transition in culture where private lives became public property.
Actionable Insights for Fans and Researchers:
- Read the Source Material: If you want the full context, read Lana Wood's Little Sister and Robert Wagner's Pieces of My Heart. The truth usually sits somewhere in the middle of those two conflicting accounts.
- Watch the Documentaries: Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind (produced by her daughter) offers a much more sympathetic view of Wagner than the tabloid specials.
- Separate Fact from Theory: Distinguish between the police reports of 1981 (which focus on the drowning) and the personal allegations of 1961 (which focus on the marriage). They are two different eras of his life.
The fascination with Robert Wagner's personal life probably won't end until the mystery of the Splendour is fully solved—which, let's be real, might be never. For now, he remains the last of the old-school matinee idols, living quietly in Aspen, carrying secrets that the rest of us can only guess at.