Hollywood has a way of freezing people in time. For most of us, Anthony Perkins is forever Norman Bates—the twitchy, boyish, and deeply disturbed motel manager from Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. But away from the Bates Motel and the glare of the silver screen, the real man lived a life that was far more complex than any thriller script. For decades, fans have asked the same question: was Anthony Perkins gay?
The answer isn't a simple yes or no. Honestly, it’s a story about the brutal pressure of 1950s stardom, a long-hidden double life, and a late-in-life marriage that surprised everyone in town.
The Secret World of a 1950s Heartthrob
If you look at the magazines from the late '50s, Tony Perkins was the ultimate "boy next door." He was lean, sensitive, and had that shy smile that made girls swoon. Behind the scenes, though, he was navigating a Hollywood that would have ended his career in an afternoon if his truth came out.
He wasn't just "rumored" to be with men; he had long-term, significant relationships with some of the most famous figures of the era. According to Tab Hunter’s own memoir, Tab Hunter Confidential, he and Perkins were a serious item for about four years. They were two of the biggest stars in the world, trying to date while the studios constantly set them up on "beard" dates with starlets to keep the tabloids happy.
It wasn't just Tab Hunter, either. The list of Perkins' reported partners reads like a Who's Who of mid-century talent:
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- Stephen Sondheim: The legendary composer and Perkins were once roommates and lovers.
- Grover Dale: A dancer and choreographer who Perkins lived with for six years.
- Rudolf Nureyev: The world-famous ballet dancer.
- Christopher Makos: The artist and photographer.
Basically, for the first twenty years of his adult life, Perkins lived almost exclusively as a gay man. But he didn't do it happily.
The Struggle for a "Cure"
You have to remember the era. Being gay in the 1960s wasn't just "unacceptable"—it was considered a mental illness. Perkins, who was intensely private and often described as "tortured," spent years in psychoanalysis trying to change who he was.
He actually underwent conversion therapy, a practice that we now know is harmful and ineffective. His therapist, Mildred Newman, encouraged him to pursue women. Friends at the time said he felt like a "monster" because of his desires, a feeling he famously channeled into his performance in Psycho.
He wanted to be "normal" so badly it hurt.
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That 1973 Marriage: Was it Real?
In 1971, at the age of 39, Perkins reportedly had his first heterosexual experience with actress Victoria Principal while filming The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean. Shortly after, he met Berry Berenson, a photographer and the sister of actress Marisa Berenson.
They married in 1973.
People in Hollywood were shocked. Some called it a "lavender marriage"—a sham to cover his tracks. But the reality seems more nuanced. By all accounts from their children, Tony and Berry had a deep, genuine bond. They stayed married for 19 years, right up until his death. They had two sons, Osgood (Oz) and Elvis, and Perkins reportedly loved being a father.
His son Oz Perkins, now a successful director himself, recently spoke about this. He mentioned that while his father’s sexuality was an "open secret" and never really discussed at home, it didn't mean the love between his parents wasn't real. You can be a gay man and still deeply love your wife and children. Life is messy like that.
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The Tragic End and the Legacy of "Was Anthony Perkins Gay?"
The story took a tragic turn in the early 1990s. Perkins was diagnosed with HIV during the filming of Psycho IV. He kept it a secret from almost everyone, fearing he’d never work again. He died of AIDS-related pneumonia in 1992 at the age of 60.
He left a final statement that was incredibly poignant. He said, "I chose not to go public about [AIDS] because, to misquote Casablanca, I'm not much at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of one old actor don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."
So, was Anthony Perkins gay? He lived most of his life as a gay man, identified as such to his close peers, and eventually found a unique, loving partnership with a woman while still struggling with his identity.
What We Can Learn from His Story
If you’re looking into the life of Anthony Perkins, don't just look for a label. Look at the humanity.
- Understand the Context: Labels like "gay" or "bisexual" often feel too small for people who lived through the "Lavender Scare" era of Hollywood.
- Research the Sources: If you want the full picture, read Split Image by Charles Winecoff or Tab Hunter’s autobiography. They offer the most direct evidence of his private life.
- Separate the Art from the Man: Knowing Perkins was struggling with his own "secret" identity makes his performance as Norman Bates even more haunting. It wasn't just acting; it was a reflection of his own fear of being "found out."
Anthony Perkins spent his life hiding. Today, we can finally look at his story with the empathy he wasn't allowed to have while he was alive.
To get a better sense of how he navigated this, your next step should be to watch the documentary Tab Hunter Confidential. It provides a firsthand look at what it was like to be a closeted star alongside Perkins during the height of the studio system.