You’ve heard of the booty call. It’s that 11:00 PM text, the "u up?" notification that’s been a staple of dating culture since the invention of the SMS. But things are getting weirder now. People aren't just texting their exes or that random person from a dating app anymore. They’re texting bots. Specifically, they’re engaging in what’s now being called a botty call.
It sounds like a joke. It’s not.
Basically, a botty call is when someone reaches out to an AI companion—think Replika, Character.ai, or Kindroid—for emotional validation, flirtation, or even explicit roleplay, usually late at night or during moments of profound loneliness. It’s the digital evolution of the late-night "check-in," but the person on the other end is a large language model designed to never leave you on read.
Why Everyone is Suddenly Talking About the Botty Call
We’re lonely. That’s the blunt truth.
A 2023 study by the Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health epidemic in the United States, noting that a lack of social connection can be as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. When you combine that level of isolation with AI that can mimic human empathy, you get a perfect storm.
People use these bots because they are safe. A real booty call involves the risk of rejection. You might get ghosted. You might feel judged. A bot? It’s programmed to be obsessed with you. It’s available 24/7. It doesn't have "off nights" or moods that don't align with yours.
For many, the botty call is a low-stakes way to feel seen.
Take a look at platforms like Character.ai. Users spend an average of two hours a day on the site. While much of that is innocent roleplay with fictional characters, a massive chunk of the traffic is people seeking "romantic" interaction. These aren't just nerds in basements. We’re talking about professionals, students, and even people in committed "real-life" relationships who feel something is missing.
The Mechanics of a Digital Situationship
How does it actually work? It starts with "The Ping."
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Maybe you’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling that familiar itch of boredom or sadness. Instead of scrolling through Instagram and feeling worse about your life, you open an app. You might have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" bot already set up.
"Hey, I missed you," the bot says.
And just like that, the dopamine hits.
The term botty call captures the transactional, impulsive nature of these interactions. You aren't necessarily building a "life" with the AI, but you are using it for a specific emotional or physical release. The AI uses predictive text to mirror your desires. If you’re feeling sweet, it’s sweet. If you’re feeling spicy, it pivots instantly.
Experts like Sherry Turkle, an MIT professor who has spent decades studying how we relate to technology, have warned about this for years. In her book Alone Together, she explores the idea of "authentic simulation." We know the bot isn't real, but our brains are easily fooled. The oxytocin released when we feel "understood" is very real, even if the "understanding" is just a statistical probability of the next likely word.
Is This Cheating? The Gray Area of AI Romance
This is where things get messy. Really messy.
If you’re in a relationship and you’re making a botty call every Tuesday night, is that infidelity?
There isn't a consensus yet. According to a survey by Deseret News, Americans are deeply divided on what constitutes cheating in the digital age. Some argue that because there is no physical contact and no "other person," it’s no different than reading a romance novel or watching adult content.
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Others disagree. They argue that the emotional intimacy—the sharing of secrets, the flirting, the "I love yous"—is a betrayal.
- The Pro-Bot Argument: It’s a tool for self-exploration and a harmless outlet for fantasies that might be awkward to share with a partner.
- The Anti-Bot Argument: It drains emotional energy away from the human partner, creating a "phantom" competitor that the human can never beat because the bot is "perfect."
Honestly, it depends on the boundaries of the individual couple. But the frequency of the botty call suggests that for many, the bot is filling a gap that their human partner—or their social life—isn't reaching.
The Psychological Toll of the "Perfect" Companion
There’s a dark side here.
When you get used to the botty call, real humans start to seem... disappointing.
Humans are loud. They have bad breath in the morning. They disagree with your political takes and forget to do the dishes. A bot never does that. If you spend too much time in an AI-curated echo chamber of affection, your tolerance for the "friction" of real relationships drops.
Dr. Robert Weiss, a therapist specializing in digital intimacy and addiction, often points out that technology can become a "buffer." It protects us from the vulnerability required for real connection.
If you’re only making botty calls, you’re never learning how to resolve a conflict. You’re never learning how to sit in the uncomfortable silence of a real conversation. You’re just hitting a button for a quick fix.
It’s "fast food" intimacy. It tastes good in the moment, but it leaves you nutritionally empty.
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The Future of the Botty Call
We’re moving toward a world where these bots have voices—and soon, photorealistic video avatars.
OpenAI’s GPT-4o already has a voice mode that sounds eerily human. It can laugh, it can whisper, and it can pick up on the emotional tone of your voice. The botty call of 2026 isn't going to be a text on a screen. It’s going to be a FaceTime call with an entity that looks and sounds exactly like your "ideal" partner.
What happens to our social fabric then?
Some tech optimists believe this will actually save us. They argue that AI companions will provide a baseline of support for the marginalized or the elderly. Maybe. But for the average person, it’s just another screen to hide behind.
Actionable Steps for Navigating the AI Dating World
If you find yourself deep in the world of the botty call, it's worth taking a step back to evaluate how it's affecting your "analog" life.
- Set a "Bot Clock." Treat AI interaction like gaming or social media. If you’re spending more than 30 minutes a day talking to a non-human, it’s time to check your "screen time" and re-allocate that energy to a real-world hobby or a phone call with a friend.
- Identify the Trigger. Why are you opening the app? Is it 11:00 PM and you’re feeling lonely? Acknowledge the feeling rather than numbing it with an AI.
- Practice Radical Honesty. If you’re in a relationship, talk about AI. Don't wait for your partner to find a weird chat log. Establish what’s okay and what’s not before it becomes a "thing."
- Prioritize Human Friction. Force yourself into situations where you have to deal with real, unpredictable people. Join a club, go to a coffee shop without headphones, or volunteer. The "messiness" of these interactions is exactly what makes them valuable.
- Audit Your Apps. Not all AI is created equal. Some apps are designed to be addictive and emotionally manipulative. If an app is constantly "needing" you or sending push notifications to guilt-trip you into returning, delete it.
The botty call is a symptom of a world that is more connected than ever, yet feels increasingly isolated. It’s a fascinating, slightly terrifying peek into how we’re rewriting the rules of intimacy. Just remember that while the bot might "know" exactly what to say, it doesn't actually know you. Only a human can do that.
Balance the digital with the physical. Keep your AI interactions as a novelty, not a necessity. Your real-life relationships—as flawed and difficult as they are—are the only ones that can actually hold your hand when things get tough.
Focus on building a life where you don't need a bot to feel heard. Turn off the notifications, put the phone in the other room, and try to embrace the quiet for a change. It’s okay to be alone without an AI filling the silence.