You’ve probably seen the tiktok aesthetic. A soft-focus lens on a bouquet of baby’s breath and roses, captioned with something like "the secret language of the Victorians." It looks dreamy. It looks romantic. Honestly? It was kind of a mess.
The victorian flower language list—or floriography, if you want to be fancy—wasn't just one single master document everyone kept in their pocket. It was a chaotic, often contradictory collection of meanings that changed depending on which book you bought. Imagine trying to text your crush, but your phone translates "hello" as "I love you" while theirs translates it as "I think you're a loser." That was the reality of floral communication in the 1800s.
The Secret Code of Tussie-Mussies
So, why the drama? In the Victorian era, social rules were stiff. You couldn't just walk up to someone at a ball and say, "Hey, I’m obsessed with you, let’s get married." That would be a massive scandal. Instead, people used tussie-mussies—small, handheld bouquets wrapped in lace.
These weren't just pretty. They were letters.
The first real "dictionary" for this was Le Langage des Fleurs, published by Charlotte de la Tour in 1819. It set the stage for a century of flower-obsessed lovers. By the mid-1800s, dozens of these books were floating around, and they didn't always agree.
If a suitor handed a lady a bouquet with his right hand, it meant "yes" or an affirmation of the flower's meaning. If he used his left? It meant "no." If the flowers were upside down, the meaning was reversed entirely. If you gave someone a rose but stripped away the thorns, you were saying, "I have high hopes, but I'm also terrified." It was basically the 19th-century version of overthinking a "kinda" in a text message.
👉 See also: Fitness Models Over 50: Why the Industry is Finally Paying Attention
A Practical Victorian Flower Language List
While meanings varied, some flowers had generally accepted vibes. Here is a breakdown of what was actually going on in those bouquets, based on the most popular dictionaries of the time like those by Kate Greenaway and John Ingram.
The Heavy Hitters of Love
- Red Rose: This is the one we still get right. It meant "I love you" or deep passion.
- Red Tulip: A literal declaration of love. Not a "maybe." A "definitely."
- White Lilac: The "innocence of youth" or "first emotions of love." Think high school sweethearts but with more corsets.
- Myrtle: This was huge. It symbolized love in marriage. Queen Victoria actually started a tradition by including myrtle from her own garden in her daughter’s wedding bouquet, a move still followed by British royals today.
The "It’s Complicated" Section
- Yellow Rose: Today, it’s for friendship. To a Victorian? It meant jealousy or "your love is fading." Giving these was basically like sending a "we need to talk" text.
- Striped Carnation: This was a hard "no." It symbolized refusal. If you asked someone out and they handed you a striped carnation, you should probably just go home.
- Yellow Carnation: Even worse. This meant disdain or disappointment. Ouch.
- Pink Peony: While they look sweet, they often represented bashfulness or even shame.
When Flowers Turned Mean
We always think of floriography as romantic, but Victorians could be incredibly passive-aggressive. They had a whole victorian flower language list for people they absolutely hated.
If you wanted to tell someone they were a total idiot, you’d send them Geraniums, which symbolized "folly" or stupidity. Want to tell someone they’re a narcissist? Send Narcissus (self-love). If you really wanted to declare war, you’d go for Tansy, which literally meant "hostile thoughts."
✨ Don't miss: Finding the Right Look: What People Get Wrong About Red Carpet Boutique Formal Wear
There’s a famous example in Henrietta Dumont's 1869 book, The Language of Flowers, where she describes a bouquet of Narcissus, Scarlet Geranium, and Marigold. The translation? "Your self-love and stupidity excite my pity."
That is some high-level shade.
The Conflict of the Dictionaries
The biggest problem with the victorian flower language list was the lack of standardization. Authors often made stuff up. If they couldn't find a traditional meaning for a weird plant like a cabbage or a mushroom, they’d just invent one.
For instance, Lavender is a great example of the confusion. Some books said it meant "devotion." Others—and this is a big "other"—said it meant "distrust." If you gave your best friend lavender, were you saying you’d be there for them forever, or that you didn't trust them as far as you could throw them? It’s a gamble.
Common Contradictions:
🔗 Read more: Finding the Perfect Color Door for Yellow House Styles That Actually Work
- Daisy: Usually "innocence," but some sources used it to mean "I’ll never tell," making it a flower of secrets.
- Ivy: Generally meant "fidelity" or "friendship," but because it clings to things, some interpreted it as a sign of someone being too needy.
- Hydrangea: Could mean "gratitude for being understood," or it could mean "frigidity and heartlessness." Imagine getting that wrong on a first date.
How to Actually Use This Today
If you want to use a victorian flower language list in 2026, don't just grab a random bouquet. You have to be intentional. We’ve lost the nuance of things like "the angle of the stem" or "which hand you use," but the core symbols still carry weight.
If you're making a bouquet for a friend who just started a new job, skip the roses. Go for Daffodils (new beginnings) and Oak-leaved Geraniums (true friendship). It’s a much deeper gesture than a generic grocery store bunch.
For an apology? Mix White Tulips (forgiveness) with Bluebells (constancy). It says, "I messed up, but I’m still here."
Just... maybe skip the Basil. In the Victorian world, it meant "hatred." Unless you're trying to send a very specific message to your landlord, keep the basil in the pasta.
Actionable Steps for Modern Floriography
- Check your source: If you're buying a "language of flowers" book, look for reprints of 19th-century originals like Kate Greenaway’s 1884 version. Modern "flower meaning" websites often sanitize the meanings and remove the "mean" flowers.
- Include a key: Since nobody knows this code anymore, write the meanings on the card. It makes the gift feel like a puzzle they get to solve.
- Watch the colors: Color matters more than species sometimes. A red carnation is love; a yellow one is "you've disappointed me."
- Focus on the feeling: Don't get bogged down in the rules of 150 years ago. Use the historical meanings as a starting point to build a message that actually fits your relationship.
The victorian flower language list was never about being perfect. It was about finding a way to say the things that felt too big for words. Whether you’re sending a message of "eternal devotion" or "you’re being a bit of a jerk," there’s a petal for that.
To start your own collection, try drying a single Blue Violet—the ultimate symbol of faithfulness—and keeping it in your favorite book. It’s a small way to keep the tradition alive without the risk of a social scandal.