If you’re walking through a crowded street in Manhattan or catching a train in Brooklyn, it probably won't surprise you that everyone seems to be riding solo. Honestly, the vibe is just different there. While your cousins in the Midwest might be getting married at 23 and buying a house with a wraparound porch, people in the Empire State are busy building careers, hunting for rent-stabilized apartments, and navigating a dating scene that feels like a full-time job.
When people search for the us state most single under 40, New York consistently sits at the top of the pile. It’s not just a cliché from a 90s sitcom. The numbers actually back it up. According to recent demographic shifts observed heading into 2026, New York State has the highest percentage of unmarried people aged 15 and over in the country, with a staggering never-married rate that hovers around 38.7%.
But why? Is it just the high cost of a cocktail? Not quite. It’s a mix of culture, economics, and a heavy concentration of urban centers that act like magnets for people who aren't ready to settle down just yet.
The Raw Data Behind the US State Most Single Under 40
Let’s get into the nitty-gritty. New York isn't just winning because of NYC. You've got places like Rochester and Buffalo where the single population is surprisingly high. In Rochester, for example, over 58% of the population is single. That’s more than half the city basically swiping left or right at any given moment.
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New York’s dominance in this category comes down to a few specific metrics:
- Never-Married Rate: Roughly 38.7% of the adult population has never walked down the aisle.
- Divorce Rates: Interestingly, New York has one of the lowest divorce rates. People just wait longer to commit, or they don't do it at all.
- Gender Ratios: In New York City specifically, women tend to outnumber men in the single pool, though the ratio is more balanced in upstate hubs.
It’s a massive contrast to a state like Utah. In Utah, only about 43.6% of the population is single across the board, the lowest in the nation. The cultural expectations there are the polar opposite of what you find in the Northeast. While a 28-year-old in New York is considered a "young professional" just starting their "real" life, a 28-year-old in Utah might already have three kids and a mortgage.
Why Young Professionals Flock to the Empire State
People move to New York for the "grind." It’s a lifestyle choice. When you’re focused on climbing the ladder at a law firm or trying to break into the tech scene in Silicon Alley, marriage often takes a backseat.
Cost is another huge factor. You’ve seen the TikToks of people living in 200-square-foot studios for $3,000 a month. Honestly, trying to fit a spouse and a kid into that space is a logistical nightmare. The "Dating Economics" of New York are notoriously brutal. WalletHub consistently ranks New York high for "Romance & Fun" but dead last for "Dating Economics." Basically, it’s a great place to go on a date, but it's a terrible place to afford one.
The "Big Three" Competition: CA, FL, and NY
While New York holds the title for the us state most single under 40 by percentage of the population, it’s always in a tug-of-war with California and Florida.
California has the sheer volume. Because it's the most populous state, it has the most total single people. If you’re in Los Angeles or San Francisco, you’re going to find plenty of company. However, California's single population is spread out over a much larger geographic area. In New York, the density of the single population—specifically in the NYC metro area—makes it feel much more concentrated.
Florida is the wildcard. It ranks incredibly high for "Dating Opportunities" because of the nightlife in Miami and Tampa. But Florida's single population is skewed by a very different demographic: the retirees. New York’s single scene is much younger, driven by that under-40 crowd that is either pursuing higher education or starting their careers.
The Upstate Surprise
Don't sleep on Upstate New York. Everyone talks about Manhattan, but the college towns and mid-sized cities are holding it down for the single crowd. Places like Buffalo and Syracuse have a high concentration of people under 40 who are single because of the universities.
- Buffalo: Known for its "Midwest feel" with a New York edge, it has a surprisingly high percentage of never-married residents.
- Albany: The state capital is a hub for government jobs and young professionals who haven't yet tied the knot.
- Ithaca: Obviously, with Cornell and Ithaca College, the under-30 single population is through the roof during the school year.
Navigating the Single Life: Insights and Reality
Being single in the us state most single under 40 is a double-edged sword. On one hand, you’re never the "odd one out" at a dinner party. Most of your friends are probably in the same boat. On the other hand, the "paradox of choice" is real. When there are millions of single people around you, it’s easy to think there’s always someone better just one swipe away.
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Experts like those at the Thriving Center of Psychology have noted that the "Eastern" cities (Richmond, Pittsburgh, Newark, and NYC) have a higher density of singles because of the way these cities are built. They are walkable. You meet people at coffee shops, on the subway, or at a bodega. You aren't trapped in a car in a suburban sprawl, which naturally leads to more "micro-interactions" with other single people.
Actionable Next Steps for Singles in New York
If you find yourself in New York and you're tired of being part of the "most single" statistic, or if you're leaning into it, here’s how to handle the landscape:
- Leverage the Density: Stop relying solely on apps. In a state this single, the best way to meet people is still through "hobby-clusters"—run clubs, pottery classes, or even those hyper-specific niche bars in the East Village.
- Watch Your Budget: Since New York has the worst dating economics, find the "free" gems. The High Line, the Staten Island Ferry (it’s free and has great views), and the many public galleries are your best friends.
- Understand the Ratio: If you’re a man in NYC, the numbers are technically in your favor. If you’re a woman, the competition is higher. Knowing this helps set realistic expectations for the dating "market."
- Explore Outside the City: If the NYC scene feels too fast-paced, the Hudson Valley has a growing community of singles under 40 who have moved north for more space but kept their single status.
New York remains a mecca for the unattached. Whether it's the career opportunities, the refusal to settle for a "cookie-cutter" life, or just the sheer cost of living, the Empire State is likely to hold onto its crown for a long time. It’s a place where being single isn’t a transitional phase; for many, it’s the primary lifestyle.
If you are looking for a place where you won't be judged for being 35 and unmarried, this is it. The data confirms what the locals already know: in New York, you're never truly alone in being alone.