Tristan da Cunha Golf Club: Why It’s Easily the Weirdest 9 Holes on Earth

Tristan da Cunha Golf Club: Why It’s Easily the Weirdest 9 Holes on Earth

Honestly, most people who call themselves "extreme golfers" are usually just talking about playing a round in a light drizzle or maybe booking a tee time at a course with a slightly annoying water hazard. But then there’s the Tristan da Cunha Golf Club. This place is basically the final boss of destination golf.

You don’t just "go" here. You survive a six-day boat journey from Cape Town across some of the moodiest water in the South Atlantic just to reach the island. It’s the most remote inhabited archipelago in the world. Once you land at Edinburgh of the Seven Seas—the only settlement—you aren't looking for a pro shop with Titleist gear and a fleet of electric carts.

You’re looking for a field.

What most people get wrong about the course

If you're expecting manicured fairways or Bentgrass greens, you've got the wrong island. The Tristan da Cunha Golf Club is a 9-hole, par-35 course that looks more like a rugged pasture because, well, it is one. Established in 1977 by a British administrator who was probably losing his mind from isolation, the course is located on a stretch of land called Hottentot Fence.

There are no greens. Not really.

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Instead, you’re putting on "browns" or just slightly shorter patches of grass that have been aggressively mowed by the local residents: a herd of ravenous cattle and a lot of very confused chickens. The cows aren't just scenery. They are the primary maintenance crew. If they decide to graze right in your line of sight, you don't call a ranger. You wait. Or you play around them.

The bunkers aren't filled with soft, white sand shipped in from a quarry. They’re made of compacted volcanic sand. It’s heavy, dark, and gritty. If you hit your ball into one, you aren't just worried about the save; you're worried about your wedges. The volcanic rock on Tristan is unforgiving, and a thin shot can result in a spark and a ruined club face.

The hazards nobody talks about

Most golf hazards are static. A pond stays put. A sand trap doesn't move. On Tristan, the hazards have a mind of their own.

  1. Livestock interference: It’s common for a cow to take an interest in a Titleist 4. According to local lore and trip reports from the few travelers who make it there, chickens have been known to "investigate" balls mid-roll.
  2. The "Chicken Coop" Out-of-Bounds: There is an actual, occupied chicken coop right along the 7th fairway. If you slice it into the coop, good luck getting that ball back without a fight.
  3. The Wind: We aren't talking about a "two-club breeze." We’re talking about gale-force winds coming off the South Atlantic that can move a stationary ball on the grass. You basically have to aim 40 yards left of the target just to stay on the island.
  4. Volcanic Boulders: The "rough" here consists of jagged volcanic rock. It’s not just a lost ball; it’s a safety hazard.

Playing the 2024 Tristan Open

The island actually hosts a tournament. The Tristan Open isn't exactly the Masters, but it’s probably more exclusive. In 2024, the tournament was held on the Hottentot Course, and the winner—often a local or a visiting scientist—usually walks away with more bragging rights than prize money.

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The scorecard lists it as a 9-hole course, but most people play it twice to get a full 18. There are two sets of tee boxes for each hole to give it some variety. One of the most iconic views is from the 5th green, looking back toward the volcanic cone of the island. It’s hauntingly beautiful and deeply lonely.

You’ve got to bring your own clubs. There is no rental shop. If you break a shaft, you’re out of luck until the next ship arrives, which might be in two months. Most visitors who play the Tristan da Cunha Golf Club end up donating their balls or even their clubs to the locals, as getting gear to the island is a logistical nightmare.

Is it actually "good" golf?

Depends on how you define "good."

If you want a flat lie and a consistent roll, it’s a nightmare. It’s lumpy. There is cow dung everywhere. Seriously, watch your step. But if you want a story that will shut down every other person at your local country club, this is it. It’s golf in its most primal, absurd form. It’s a reminder that humans will try to play this game anywhere, even on the side of a volcano in the middle of a literal ocean.

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The 19th hole isn't a mahogany-clad lounge. It’s the Café da Cunha or the Albatross Bar (the most remote pub on earth). You sit there with the locals—many of whom share the same seven surnames like Glass or Repetto—and drink a beer while the wind howls outside.

How to actually play a round

You can't book this on GolfNow.

First, you need permission from the Island Council to even land on Tristan. Then you have to find a spot on one of the few ships like the SA Agulhas II or the fishing vessels Edinburgh or Lance. Once you’re on the ground, you can contact the Tourism Coordinator, Kelly Green, who can help arrange a round.

Actionable Next Steps:

  • Check the Shipping Schedule: Visit the official Tristan da Cunha website to see the 2026-2027 sailing dates. They fill up a year in advance.
  • Pack "Expendable" Gear: Don't bring your $500 driver. Bring clubs you don't mind scratching on volcanic rock and a bag of "shag" balls you can leave behind for the community.
  • Get Travel Insurance: Ensure it covers "medical evacuation by sea." If you trip in a volcanic bunker, the nearest hospital is thousands of miles away.
  • Email the Administrator: You need a confirmed booking for accommodation before you're allowed to board the ship from Cape Town.