If you’ve spent any time watching Tracee Ellis Ross on screen, you know she’s got this specific kind of energy. It’s a mix of high-fashion elegance and "tell-it-like-it-is" honesty that feels like talking to your smartest friend. But lately, the conversation around her has shifted from just her acting chops or her legendary hair to something a bit more personal: her stance on tracee ellis ross sex positivity and what it means to be a "choiceful" woman in her 50s.
Honestly, it’s refreshing. In a world that constantly tries to put women in boxes—especially Black women—Ross has spent years dismantling the idea that a woman’s worth is tied to her marital status or her reproductive choices. She isn't just "single"; she’s living a life that is entirely her own, and she’s remarkably open about the intimacy, agency, and even the occasional grief that comes with that path.
The "Handsy Man" and Drawing Hard Lines
Back in 2017, when the #MeToo movement was really starting to shake the foundations of Hollywood, Tracee did something brilliant. She didn’t just give a standard PR statement. Instead, while guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live!, she read from a "children's book for men" she wrote called The Handsy Man.
It was funny, sure. But the message was razor-sharp.
The book used simple rhymes to explain basic consent—things like "If she doesn't consent, the answer is NO." By using a format meant for toddlers, she highlighted how absurd it is that grown men still struggle with the basics of respect and boundaries. For Ross, tracee ellis ross sex positivity isn't just about the "fun" stuff; it's about the fundamental right to safety and agency over one's own body. She’s been vocal about the fact that sexuality shouldn't be a "product" or a "tool for safety," but a "way of being."
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Why She Prefers Dating Younger Men
In a 2025 interview on the IMO podcast with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Tracee dropped some serious gems about her current dating life. She admitted she has a bit of a pattern: she tends to date younger men.
Why? Basically, she’s tired of "teaching" men how to be partners.
Ross noted that many men in her own age bracket (she’s 52 as of 2025) are "steeped in a toxic masculinity" that expects a relationship to look a certain way. You know the vibe—where the woman is a "possession" or a "prize." She’s over it. Younger men, she’s found, often have a different kind of openness. They aren't as stuck in those rigid, old-school gender roles that she spent her career on Black-ish fighting against (remember her crusade against "lady chores"?).
The Reality of Being "Choiceful"
One thing I love about Tracee is that she doesn't pretend it's all sunshine and roses. She uses the word "choiceful" to describe her life. It means she has chosen her solitude, but that doesn't mean she never feels lonely.
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- She Grieves: She’s admitted to mourning the life she thought she would have—the husband, the kids, the white picket fence.
- She Values Peace: Despite that grief, she’s made it clear she would rather be alone than with the wrong person.
- She’s the Chooser: She famously said, "I am the chooser." This is a huge shift from the narrative we’re usually fed, where women are "chosen" by men.
Sex Positivity as a Legacy
Tracee often credits her mother, the legendary Diana Ross, for her outlook. She grew up seeing her mom as a "sexy woman" who owned her power without it being scary or shameful.
Ross took that and ran with it. She learned the term "sex-positive" later in life and realized it perfectly described her worldview. To her, owning your sexuality is the ultimate response to a culture that tries to objectify women. If you own it, they can't use it against you. It's yours.
Recently, she even expanded her brand, Pattern Beauty, into body care. While it might seem like just another celebrity launch, the way she talks about it is deeply tied to her philosophy of "inhabiting your own skin." She wants the products to feel "elevated, sexy, and inviting." It's about self-pleasure in the broadest sense—taking care of the body you live in.
Navigating Intimacy on Your Own Terms
So, what does all this mean for the rest of us? Tracee Ellis Ross is basically a walking masterclass in self-advocacy. She’s shown that you can be successful, sexual, and single all at the same time without needing anyone’s permission.
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If you’re looking to channel some of that "Brave Tracee" energy in your own life, here are a few ways to start:
Inventory Your "Lady Chores"
Look at your relationships. Are you doing things because you want to, or because "society" says it's your job? Whether it's literally doing the dishes or metaphorically doing the emotional labor, start saying no to the stuff that isn't yours to carry.
Practice "Choiceful Solitude"
There’s a big difference between being lonely and being alone. Learn the difference. If you’re single, don't just "wait" for a partner to start living. Go to the fancy dinner. Buy the expensive sheets. Take the trip.
Redefine Your Toolbox
Tracee talks about her "toolbox" for when things get tough. It includes journaling, meditation, and a "tribe" of safe people. Build your own. Who are the people you can call at 3:00 AM? What are the practices that bring you back to yourself when the world feels too loud?
Own Your "No"
The lesson from The Handsy Man applies to everyone. Your "no" is a complete sentence. Whether it’s in the bedroom, the boardroom, or at a family dinner, owning your boundaries is the first step toward actual agency.
Tracee's approach to tracee ellis ross sex and life isn't about having it all figured out. It’s about the audacity to keep asking "What do I need right now?" and having the courage to actually listen to the answer.
Actionable Steps for Radical Self-Agency
- The "Bucket" Audit: Write down the expectations people have of you (wife, mother, "good girl"). Circle only the ones you actually want. Toss the rest.
- Curate Your Environment: Your home should be a sanctuary, not a waiting room. Invest in things that make you feel sexy and comfortable, regardless of who else sees them.
- Engage with Wellness: Explore sexual wellness on your own terms. Whether it’s through reading, podcasts like IMO, or self-care rituals, make your relationship with your own body the primary one.