You’re standing there. Third floor. The neon lights are buzzing, a plate of injectable donut holes is sitting on the table behind you, and you’ve got a cold drink waiting. It’s your turn. You take a massive rip at the ball, trying to impress your friends or that one date, and... whoosh.
Nothing. Just the sound of displaced air and your ego hitting the floor.
Whiffing a golf ball is a specific kind of soul-crushing embarrassment. It’s a rite of passage, sure, but it’s also the reason a lot of people never come back to a driving range. Topgolf knows this. They’ve seen the security footage of thousands of people swinging out of their shoes and hitting absolutely nothing but oxygen.
Enter Topgolf The Sure Thing.
It’s a bizarre-looking stick. It’s got a head the size of a small toaster and a shaft that feels like it was stolen from a junior set. But honestly? It might be the smartest thing to happen to the "golf-tainment" industry in a decade.
What Actually is Topgolf The Sure Thing?
Basically, it’s a "non-conforming" driver. In the golf world, "non-conforming" is just a polite way of saying it’s illegal for tournament use. If you tried to pull this out at a local amateur qualifier, the rules official would probably have a heart attack.
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But you aren't at a USGA-sanctioned event. You’re at Topgolf.
The club was built in a lab by the mad scientists at Callaway. Since Callaway owns Topgolf, they decided to leverage their actual rocket-science engineers to build a club that removes the barrier of entry for people who think a "birdie" is just a feathered animal.
The Specs That Make it "Cheat"
- Massive Club Face: The surface area is enormous. It’s like hitting a ball with a shovel. The "sweet spot" isn't just a tiny dot in the center; it’s basically the entire face.
- 20 Degrees of Loft: For context, a standard driver usually has between 9 and 12 degrees. A 20-degree loft is more like a 7-wood or a hybrid. It’s designed to get the ball into the air immediately, even if you hit it thin.
- Shorter Shaft: Long drivers are hard to control. The Sure Thing has a stunted shaft, which gives you way more control over where that massive head is going.
- Chicken Wing Tech: Okay, this one is mostly a marketing joke, but they lean into it. In golf, a "chicken wing" is a swing flaw where your elbow flies out. This club is balanced to help negate the disasters that usually happen when your form is, well, terrible.
Why You Can’t Buy One (And Why That Sucks)
Here is the kicker: you cannot buy Topgolf The Sure Thing.
I’ve seen people on Reddit and golf forums practically begging for a retail version. They want it for their Saturday morning scramble or just to let their kids use on a real course. But Topgolf is keeping this one close to the chest. It’s a venue exclusive. It’s there for one reason: to give you "shot euphoria."
That’s a real term the marketing team uses. It’s that hit of dopamine you get when the ball actually flies straight and lands in a target. If you get that feeling, you’re more likely to order another round of wings and book another bay next month.
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It’s a brilliant business move. It’s the "training wheels" of golf that nobody asked for but everyone secretly needs.
Is it Only for Beginners?
Look, I’ve been playing golf for fifteen years. I have a respectable handicap. I usually bring my own bag to Topgolf because I’m that guy.
But I tried the Sure Thing. It’s fun. It’s genuinely hilarious to swing a club where you literally cannot miss. You can’t slice it into the next zip code, and you can’t worm-burn it across the turf. It just goes.
For kids, it’s a game-changer. I watched a seven-year-old at the El Segundo location launch a ball 80 yards into the blue target with a smile that could light up the whole facility. That’s the point. It turns a frustrating mechanical struggle into a video game.
The Reality Check
We have to be real here. Using Topgolf The Sure Thing is not "learning golf."
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If you get used to this club and then go buy a standard set of Callaway Rogue STs, you are going to be in for a very rude awakening. Real golf clubs are precise instruments; they are unforgiving. This club is a safety blanket.
Does that matter? Probably not.
Most people at Topgolf aren't trying to make the PGA Tour. They’re trying to have a good time on a Tuesday night.
What to Do Next Time You're at the Bay
If you want to try it, you usually have to ask. They don't always leave them in every single bay. Just flag down your server or the "Bay Host" and ask if they have a Sure Thing available. They usually have them in adult, junior, and even "tot" sizes.
- Check the Loft: Look at the face. You’ll notice how angled it is compared to the other drivers in the rack.
- Aim for the Mid-Targets: Don't try to out-drive the back net. This club is about height and accuracy, not raw 300-yard power.
- Watch the Flight: Notice how the ball stays in the air longer. That’s that 20-degree loft doing the heavy lifting for you.
Honestly, don't overthink it. It's a "Sure Thing" for a reason. Grab the club, swing as hard as you want, and enjoy the fact that for once, the ball is actually going where you want it to go.
If you're looking to transition from this to real golf, your next step should be asking the venue about their "Topgolf Lessons" or finding a local pro who won't judge you for starting with a "cheater" club. But for tonight? Just hit the ball.