It’s heavy. That feeling where the world feels like it’s pressing in on you from every single side, and the only exit sign you can see is one you never thought you’d actually look at. If you’re currently wondering what to do if you have suicidal thoughts, I want you to know something right now, before we even get into the weeds of biology or psychology: you aren't "broken." You’re likely just carrying more than a human being was ever designed to carry alone.
Sometimes it’s a slow burn. Other times, it’s a sudden, terrifying wave that hits you while you're doing something mundane like folding laundry or driving home from work. Honestly, it’s scary. It’s isolating. But these thoughts are often a symptom of intense pain, not a reflection of your character or your future.
This is your brain on "Overload"
When people talk about suicide, they often make it sound like a choice. But for many, it doesn’t feel like a choice at all; it feels like a lack of options. Dr. Thomas Joiner, a leading expert in suicidology and author of Why People Die by Suicide, suggests that suicidal ideation usually happens when three things overlap: a sense of being a burden, a feeling of disconnectedness, and a high tolerance for pain.
Your brain is basically a biological computer. When the "processing load" of emotional trauma, chemical imbalances, or external stress exceeds the "RAM" of your coping mechanisms, the system starts looking for a way to shut down to prevent further damage. It’s a survival mechanism that has gone catastrophically haywire.
It’s also worth noting that your brain’s prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for logic and seeing the "big picture"—can actually go quiet during a crisis. This leaves the amygdala, your fear center, in charge. It’s why you can’t "just think positive." Your biology is literally preventing you from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Immediate steps for right now
If you are in the middle of a crisis, stop reading and use these resources. They exist because thousands of people feel exactly like you do every single day.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: In the US and Canada, call or text 988. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
- The Trevor Project: If you are LGBTQ+, call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678.
- Emergency Services: If you have a plan and the means to carry it out right now, go to the nearest emergency room or call 911.
Don't worry about being a "bother." These people are trained for this. They want to talk to you.
Why "Wait Five Minutes" actually works
When you're wondering what to do if you have suicidal thoughts, the most effective tool is often just time.
It sounds too simple. It sounds almost insulting. But the intense, "acute" phase of a suicidal crisis—the moment where the urge is at its absolute peak—is usually temporary. Research shows that if you can delay the action by even ten minutes, the intensity of the urge often begins to subside.
Try the "Rule of Ten." Tell yourself, "I won't do anything for ten minutes." During those ten minutes, you do one thing that grounds you in your physical body. Wash your face with ice-cold water. The "mammalian dive reflex" kicks in when cold water hits your face, naturally slowing your heart rate and calming your nervous system. Or try "box breathing": inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. It forces your brain to focus on something other than the spiraling thoughts.
The myths that make things worse
We have to talk about the stigma. People say suicide is "selfish." Honestly? That’s one of the most harmful things someone can say. To a person in the depths of despair, suicide often feels like the least selfish thing—they truly believe the world or their loved ones would be better off without them.
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That is a lie told by a sick brain.
Another myth is that "talking about it makes it more likely to happen." This is fundamentally false. In fact, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) notes that asking someone directly about suicidal thoughts often reduces their anxiety and makes them feel seen. If you're the one suffering, speaking the words out loud to a friend or a professional takes the power away from the "secret."
Understanding the "Passive" vs. "Active" distinction
Not all suicidal thoughts look the same. There’s a spectrum.
Passive ideation is when you wish you could just disappear, or you hope a car hits you, or you wish you wouldn't wake up tomorrow. You don't have a plan, but you're tired of existing.
Active ideation is when you start thinking about the how. You might start researching methods or looking at your pill bottle differently.
Both are serious. Both deserve attention. If you’ve moved from "I wish I wasn't here" to "I have a plan," you need to get to a professional immediately. This isn't just a "bad day" anymore; it’s a medical emergency, no different than chest pains or a broken bone.
Creating a Safety Plan that actually helps
A Safety Plan isn't just a piece of paper; it’s a blueprint for when you can’t think straight. You should write this down while you're feeling relatively "okay."
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- Warning Signs: What starts the spiral? Is it a certain person? A time of night? The feeling of being overwhelmed at work? Write them down so you recognize the "smoke" before the "fire."
- Internal Coping Strategies: What can you do without calling anyone? Petting your dog? Listening to a specific playlist? Watching a specific YouTube creator who makes you laugh?
- People and Settings that Provide Distraction: This isn't for "talking about feelings." This is just for being around humans. Go to a coffee shop. Call your cousin and talk about the latest Netflix show.
- People I Can Ask for Help: These are your "ride or dies." The people who won't judge you.
- Professional Agencies: Keep the 988 number saved in your phone under a fake name if you’re worried about privacy, or just keep it on a sticky note.
- Making the Environment Safe: If you have medications or weapons in the house, give them to someone you trust to hold onto for a while. Removing the means is one of the most effective ways to prevent suicide.
Looking at the long-term: The "Why"
Sometimes the thoughts come from a specific event—a breakup, a job loss, a death. Other times, it's a "chemical glitch" like Major Depressive Disorder or Bipolar Disorder.
If it’s a life event, remember that your current situation is a snapshot, not the whole movie. You are judging the rest of your life based on the worst scene you've ever filmed.
If it’s chemical, medication can be a literal lifesaver. It doesn't "change who you are"; it just clears the static so you can hear your own voice again. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) or newer treatments like Ketamine therapy (under strict medical supervision) have changed the game for people who felt they were "untreatable."
Actionable steps for the next 24 hours
If you're wondering what to do if you have suicidal thoughts, don't look at the next year. Don't even look at the next week. Just look at the next few hours.
- Clean your immediate space. Just a tiny bit. Clear the trash off your nightstand. Small wins build momentum.
- Change your sensory input. If you’re in a dark room, turn on the lights. If it’s quiet, put on white noise or upbeat music.
- Eat something with protein. Low blood sugar can make emotional regulation nearly impossible.
- Reach out to one person. You don't have to say "I'm suicidal." You can just say, "I'm having a really hard time right now, can we talk for a minute?"
- Schedule a "Future Event." It could be as small as "I'm going to buy that specific coffee tomorrow morning." It gives your brain a tiny anchor in the future.
You are carrying a heavy load. It's okay to put it down for a second and ask for help carrying it. The world is better with you in it, even if you can't see why right now. Stick around. Please.