Your brain is a liar. It’s not trying to be malicious, but it’s definitely lazy. Most of the day-to-day friction you feel—that heavy resistance when you try to start a project or the weird guilt that hits at 3:00 PM—isn't about your workload. It’s about the narrative. Think this not that isn't just a catchy Instagram slogan; it’s basically a manual override for the cognitive biases that keep us stuck in a loop of "shoulds" and "musts."
We’ve all been there. You wake up, look at your inbox, and immediately think, I have so much to do today, I’ll never get through it. That’s the default setting. It’s a survival mechanism designed to conserve energy by making you avoid "threats," even if the threat is just a spreadsheet. But that specific thought pattern creates a physiological stress response. Your cortisol spikes. Your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that actually does the smart stuff—starts to dim. You’re effectively trying to drive a car with the parking brake on.
The Problem With The "Grind" Mindset
Culturally, we’ve been fed this idea that success is about "wanting it more" or "pushing through." We think: I need to be more disciplined. But discipline is a finite resource. If you're constantly telling yourself you’re lazy or that you need to "grind" harder, you’re just creating more internal friction.
Stop.
Instead of thinking I need more discipline, try thinking I need better environments. Research by psychologists like Wendy Wood (author of Good Habits, Bad Habits) shows that people who seem "highly disciplined" actually just structure their lives to avoid using willpower in the first place. They aren't "grinding" through the temptation to check their phones; they’ve put the phone in another room. It’s a subtle shift from internal blame to external design. It’s honestly life-changing when you realize you aren’t broken, your setup is just messy.
The Feedback Loop of "I'm Behind"
One of the most toxic phrases in the modern vocabulary is "I’m so behind." Behind what? A phantom schedule you made up while drinking coffee at 8:00 AM? When you think I’m behind, your brain perceives a deficit. You start working from a place of panic rather than a place of flow.
Carol Dweck’s work on Growth Mindset at Stanford is relevant here, but it’s often oversimplified. It’s not just about "trying hard." It’s about how you frame the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
- Don't Think: "I’m failing because I haven't finished this yet."
- Think This: "I’m currently in the middle of a complex process that takes time."
It sounds like semantics, but the neural pathways are different. One triggers the amygdala (fear); the other engages the executive function (problem-solving).
Why "Positive Thinking" Is Actually Garbage
Let's be real: telling yourself "everything is great" when your life is a dumpster fire is just gaslighting yourself. Toxic positivity is a trap. If you think I just need to stay positive, you’re ignoring the data your brain is sending you.
Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen developed a concept called WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). Her research found that people who only think positively about their goals are actually less likely to achieve them than people who visualize the obstacles.
Basically, your brain gets a hit of dopamine from the fantasy of success and decides it doesn't need to do the actual work. So, think this not that: don't think It’s all going to be perfect. Think What is the specific thing that will go wrong, and how will I handle it? This is "mental contrasting." It’s the difference between a dreamer and a doer.
The "All or Nothing" Fallacy
We love extremes. We think: Since I missed my workout today, the whole week is ruined. This is "splitting," a cognitive distortion where you see things in black and white.
Life happens in the gray.
Instead of thinking I ruined my diet, try thinking My next meal is a new opportunity to make a better choice. This isn't just "being nice" to yourself. It's about maintaining "self-efficacy"—the belief that you have the power to influence your own outcomes. Once you think you’ve "failed" the week, you lose your self-efficacy and the downward spiral accelerates. You’ve probably noticed that one missed gym session leads to a week of pizza and Netflix. That’s not a lack of character; it’s a failure of framing.
Redefining "Productivity" in a Burnout World
We treat our brains like computers, but they’re actually more like biological ecosystems. You wouldn't expect a garden to grow 24/7 without seasons or rest. Yet, we think: I should be productive every hour of the work day.
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This is a lie born from the Industrial Revolution.
Knowledge work doesn't work that way. Most of your "aha!" moments happen when you aren't staring at a screen. This is why the Default Mode Network (DMN) in the brain is so important. The DMN kicks in when you’re daydreaming, walking, or washing dishes. It’s when your brain connects disparate ideas.
- Not That: "I'm wasting time by taking a walk."
- Think This: "I am giving my brain the space it needs to process complex information."
If you don't value the "offline" time, you’ll never have the "online" breakthroughs. Look at someone like Cal Newport, who talks extensively about "Deep Work." He’s a computer science professor, but he’s also a huge advocate for ending your workday at 5:00 PM sharp. He knows that the brain has a limit. Thinking I need to work more hours is usually a sign that your hours aren't very high-quality.
The Perfectionism Trap
Perfectionism is just procrastination in a fancy suit. It feels like you’re being rigorous, but really you’re just scared of being judged.
You think: It’s not ready yet.
You should think: It’s ready enough to get feedback.
Software companies have figured this out. They release "Beta" versions. They know the fastest way to a perfect product is a series of imperfect iterations. If you’re waiting for the "perfect" moment or the "perfect" draft, you’re just standing still while the world moves past you.
Actionable Shifts for Your Internal Script
The goal here isn't to become a robot. It’s to stop the unnecessary suffering that comes from bad mental framing. Here is how you actually apply think this not that in the wild.
When you’re overwhelmed by a project:
Don’t think: "I have to finish this massive report."
Think this: "I’m going to open the document and write three bullet points."
Why? Because the hardest part of any task is the "activation energy" required to start. By lowering the bar, you trick your brain into starting. Once you start, the Zeigarnik Effect kicks in—a psychological phenomenon where our brains want to finish what we’ve begun.
When someone criticizes your work:
Don’t think: "They hate me and I’m bad at my job."
Think this: "This person has a different perspective that might make the final result better."
This shifts you from a "defensive" posture to a "collaborative" one. It’s not about ego; it’s about the work.
When you’re feeling unmotivated:
Don’t think: "I don't feel like doing this."
Think this: "How will I feel at 6:00 PM if I get this done versus if I don't?"
Focusing on the "future self" is a powerful motivator. We tend to treat our future selves like strangers, but when you bridge that gap, you start making better decisions in the present.
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Moving Beyond the Binary
Honestly, the biggest hurdle is just noticing the thoughts in the first place. Most of us are so enmeshed in our internal monologue that we don't even realize it’s happening. We take our thoughts as "truth" rather than "data."
Metacognition—thinking about your thinking—is the ultimate skill. When you catch a "not that" thought, don't judge yourself for it. Just label it. Oh, there’s that 'I’m behind' thought again. Interesting. Then, consciously swap it for the "think this" alternative.
It feels clunky at first. It feels like you’re lying to yourself. But over time, you’re literally rewiring your neural pathways. This is neuroplasticity in action. You are the architect of your own mental landscape.
Start by picking one common "not that" thought you have every day. Maybe it’s about your body, your career, or your productivity. For the next 24 hours, every time that thought pops up, manually replace it. See how your energy levels change. You might be surprised at how much "fatigue" was actually just mental friction.
To truly master this, start a "Framing Log" for three days. Every time you feel a spike of stress or a slump in motivation, write down the exact thought you were having. Usually, you'll find it fits one of the "Not That" categories—catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, or personalizing. Once you see the pattern on paper, it loses its power over you. Your next step is to write the "Think This" alternative directly next to it. Practice this until the new frame becomes your default response.