Prank calling feels like a relic. It’s something we associate with corded phones, grainy 90s movies, and Bart Simpson. But even in 2026, with caller ID being basically inescapable and AI voice filters becoming the new norm, people still do it. Honestly, they do it a lot. The thrill hasn't changed. That jittery, nervous energy you get right before someone picks up? It's universal.
If you're looking for things to say when prank calling, you probably realize the old "Is your refrigerator running?" gag is basically a museum piece at this point. Nobody falls for it. Most people will just hang up or, worse, track your IP if you're using a VoIP service. To actually land a joke today, you need a mix of improv skills, a decent script, and an understanding of where the legal line is drawn.
It’s about the delivery. You can have the funniest script in the world, but if you sound like a nervous middle schooler, it’s over in three seconds. You've got to commit to the bit.
The Modern Art of the Prank Call Script
The key to a successful prank isn't just the words; it's the scenario. You want to create a situation that is just believable enough to keep them on the line, but absurd enough that the payoff is worth it.
Think about the "Wrong Number" trope. Instead of just saying "Sorry, wrong number," you lean into it. You act like the person who answered is actually the person you were supposed to call, and they're the one being difficult. "Look, Kevin, I know it's you. Just give me back the lawnmower. I can hear your breathing." It’s disorienting. It forces the other person to defend their identity.
Then there's the "Specific Service" prank. Call a pizza place and ask for something they clearly don't have, but act like it's a standard menu item. "I'll take the gluten-free, crustless, deconstructed pepperoni salad." When they tell you they don't have it, act genuinely confused. Not angry—just confused. "Wait, is this not the artisanal flatbread warehouse?"
Why Improv Matters More Than the Script
If you're reading off a piece of paper, the person on the other end will hear it. They’ll hear the lack of inflection. They’ll hear the pauses where you’re trying to find your place.
The best things to say when prank calling are actually responses to what the other person says. If you call someone and say, "I'm calling from the Department of Clouds," and they say, "What?", your next line shouldn't be a pre-written joke. It should be, "Well, we noticed your house is blocking a very important cumulonimbus, and we're going to need you to deflate it."
Classic Tropes That Still Get a Laugh
Some things are classics for a reason. They tap into basic human psychology—our desire to be helpful or our fear of being in trouble.
- The "I'm Your Neighbor" Bit: This is high-risk, high-reward. You call and complain about something completely imaginary. "Hey, your dog is currently on my roof, and he's wearing my sunglasses." It’s specific. It’s weird. It usually gets a "Wait, what?" which is exactly what you want.
- The Technical Support Nightmare: Call a friend and pretend to be from an obscure tech company. Tell them their "digital footprint is leaking" or that their "smart fridge has joined a union." The more nonsensical the jargon, the better.
- The Radio Show Winner: This one is ancient but effective if you can do a high-energy "DJ voice." "You're caller number 10! You just won a lifetime supply of... gravel!"
I’ve seen people try to do the "Prince Albert in a can" joke recently. It doesn't work. Nobody knows who Prince Albert is anymore, and nobody buys tobacco in cans like that. If you're going to go vintage, go for something that still makes sense in a modern context.
The Legal Reality (Read This Before You Dial)
We have to talk about the boring stuff because getting a visit from the police is a pretty bad punchline. Prank calling isn't inherently illegal in most places, but it becomes illegal the moment it crosses into harassment, stalking, or threats.
In the United States, several federal and state laws govern this. For example, the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA) and various anti-harassment statutes are pretty clear: if you’re calling someone repeatedly, using "obscene or lewd" language, or threatening them, you're breaking the law.
Consent and Recording Laws
This is the big one. If you’re planning on recording your prank call to post on YouTube or TikTok, you need to know about One-Party vs. Two-Party Consent.
In "One-Party" states (like New York or Texas), only one person in the conversation needs to know it's being recorded. That’s you. In "Two-Party" or "All-Party" states (like California, Florida, or Illinois), everyone on the call has to agree to be recorded. If you record someone in California without telling them, you’re potentially committing a felony. It’s not a joke anymore; it's a legal liability.
How to Handle a Call That Goes South
Sometimes, people don't find it funny. Sometimes they get angry, or they start crying, or they threaten to call the cops.
If that happens, stop. The goal of a prank is for everyone to laugh at the end. If the other person is distressed, the prank has failed. Don't double down. Don't try to "save" the joke. Just hang up and don't call them back.
Avoiding the "Prank Call" Stigma
There's a reason why professional pranksters like The Jerky Boys or Longmont Potion Castle are successful. They don't target vulnerable people. They usually target businesses or people who are already being difficult.
Longmont Potion Castle, for instance, uses absurdist humor and sound effects to create a surreal experience. He’s not being "mean"—he’s being weird. That’s a crucial distinction. If your "things to say when prank calling" are just insults, you're not a prankster; you're just a jerk.
Practical Steps for a Better Experience
If you're going to do this, do it right. Use these steps to make sure your session is actually fun and doesn't end in a blocked number or a police report.
- Block Your Number: Use *67 before the number. It's old school, but it still works on most landlines and some cell carriers. Or use an app like Burner to generate a temporary number.
- Know Your Audience: Don't prank call your boss. Don't prank call your grandma if she has a heart condition. Stick to friends who have a sense of humor or businesses that are used to weird requests.
- Keep It Short: The longer a prank goes, the more likely it is to get awkward or offensive. Aim for under two minutes.
- Have an Exit Strategy: Know how you're going to end the call. "I think I have the wrong number" is always a safe bet if things get weird.
- Stay Away from Emergency Services: This should go without saying, but never, ever prank call 911 or any emergency line. That is a guaranteed way to end up in jail, and it's incredibly dangerous for the community.
Finding Your Character
Before you dial, decide who you are. Are you a confused elderly man looking for his lost cat? Are you an over-enthusiastic salesman for a product that doesn't exist? Are you a confused delivery driver who thinks you're standing in the person's living room?
Once you have the character, the things to say when prank calling will come naturally. You won't need a script because you'll know how that character would react to being told "No."
The Psychology of Why We Find This Funny
Why do we do it? There's a psychological concept called Incongruity Theory. We find things funny when there's a gap between what we expect to happen and what actually happens.
When someone answers the phone, they expect a normal human interaction—a bill collector, a friend, a telemarketer. When they get someone asking if they have "extra large holes for sale," the brain struggles to bridge that gap. That struggle often results in laughter (or at least a confused smirk).
Final Thoughts on Prank Call Etiquette
The world is a stressful place. A well-executed, harmless prank call can be a brief moment of levity. But it requires empathy. You have to be able to read the room—or the "line"—and know when to push and when to fold.
If you're stuck for ideas, look at old transcripts of classic pranksters. Don't copy them word for word, but look at how they build tension and how they use silence. Sometimes, saying nothing at all after a weird statement is the funniest thing you can do.
Actionable Next Steps:
- Check your local recording laws. Before you hit record, verify if you live in a one-party or two-party consent state to avoid legal headaches.
- Draft three "characters" rather than three scripts. Focus on the persona and the motivation (e.g., "The guy who thinks he's calling a psychic but actually called a tire shop") to allow for better improv.
- Test your "voice" on a friend first. See if you can keep a straight face and maintain the character for sixty seconds before trying it on a stranger.
- Set a hard limit. Decide beforehand that if the person sounds stressed or mentions they are at work/busy, you will apologize and hang up immediately.