It’s one of those things you hear at funerals or after a messy breakup when someone is trying to be helpful but mostly just ends up being annoying. They say nothing lasts forever. We nod. We agree. We post it on Instagram over a picture of a sunset. But if we actually lived like that were true, our lives would look fundamentally different. We wouldn't hoard clothes we haven't worn since 2018 or stay in jobs that soul-crush us just because the "stability" feels permanent.
Change is the only constant. That’s the cliché, right? Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher, put it a bit more elegantly when he noted that you can’t step into the same river twice. The water is moving. You’ve changed. The world has moved on. Yet, humans are biologically wired to seek out permanence. We want the "forever home," the "happily ever after," and the "permanent record." We are essentially creatures designed for a static world living in a fluid one.
The Science of Why Change Feels Like Dying
When people mention that nothing lasts forever, they’re usually talking about loss. But there’s a biological reason why the end of a relationship or the closing of a business feels like an actual physical threat. Our brains are prediction machines. According to neuroscientist Dr. Karl Friston’s "Free Energy Principle," the brain’s main job is to minimize surprise.
When things last, we can predict them. When they end, the "prediction error" in our brain spikes. This triggers the amygdala.
Suddenly, your brain isn't just dealing with a breakup; it’s dealing with a perceived threat to your survival. This is why we cling to things that are clearly over. We prefer the "known bad" to the "unknown new." It’s also why the phrase they say nothing lasts forever feels so hollow when you’re in the middle of a crisis. Your biology is literally screaming at you to make things stay the same.
The Hedonic Treadmill and the "Forever" Myth
We also do this weird thing where we think good things will last forever if we just try hard enough. This is the "Hedonic Treadmill," a concept popularized by psychologists Brickman and Campbell. You get the promotion. You feel amazing. You think, "This is it! I’ve arrived!"
Then, six months later, you’re stressed about the next promotion.
The happiness didn't last forever. It wasn't supposed to. From an evolutionary standpoint, a human who is permanently satisfied is a human who stops looking for food or shelter. We are built to return to a baseline.
Relationships: The Hardest "Forever" to Let Go Of
This is where the rubber really meets the road. We get married and say "until death do us part." We promise to be best friends for life. But people grow. They shift. Sometimes they grow in opposite directions like trees competing for the same patch of sunlight.
The divorce rate in the United States has actually been dropping for some demographics, but that’s often because people are getting married later. They’ve already seen enough "forevers" end to know they should wait.
Honestly, the most successful relationships aren't necessarily the ones that last the longest, but the ones where both people acknowledge that the current version of their relationship won't last forever. You have to keep "re-marrying" the new version of your partner.
- Friendships: Research suggests we replace about half of our social circle every seven years.
- Family Dynamics: The way you relate to your parents at 15 is dead by 30. If it isn't, something is wrong.
Economics and the Fall of the "Unsinkable"
Business owners hate the idea that nothing lasts forever. They want "moats." They want "sustainable competitive advantages." But look at the Fortune 500 list from 1955. Most of those companies are gone. Gone. Bankrupt, acquired, or faded into irrelevance.
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Think about Blockbuster. In 2004, it had 9,000 stores. It was a giant. It felt permanent. By 2010, it was filing for bankruptcy. They had the chance to buy Netflix for $50 million and laughed at the offer. They thought their "forever" was guaranteed.
Even the concept of a "career" has changed. The "gold watch" retirement after 40 years at the same firm is a ghost of the past. Nowadays, the average person changes jobs about 12 times in their life. Your professional identity is a series of temporary states, not a fixed destination.
Why We Should Actually Be Glad Nothing Lasts
If everything lasted forever, life would be a nightmare. Imagine being stuck in your most embarrassing phase from middle school for eternity. Or having to deal with a cold that never goes away.
The fact that things end is what gives them value. This is the core of "Memento Mori"—the practice of reflecting on mortality. It’s not about being morbid. It’s about realizing that because the coffee will get cold, you should drink it now. Because the kids will grow up, you should probably put down the phone and look at them.
Total permanence is stagnation.
In Japanese culture, there’s a beautiful concept called Wabi-sabi. it’s the appreciation of the imperfect, the impermanent, and the incomplete. It’s the crack in the tea bowl that makes it beautiful. They recognize that the aging of an object—its slow march toward ending—is exactly what makes it worth having.
Practical Ways to Handle the "End" of Things
So, what do you actually do when you realize they say nothing lasts forever is a literal truth you have to live with? You can't just wander around in a nihilistic fog. You need a strategy for a world that won't sit still.
1. Build an "Adaptability Quotient" (AQ)
Forget IQ. Forget EQ. Your AQ is your ability to pivot. When a project at work fails or a trend shifts, don't mourn the "old way." Ask, "What does this new reality require of me?" People with high AQ don't see the end of a cycle as a failure; they see it as a data point.
2. Diversify Your Identity
If you define yourself solely as "The VP of Marketing" or "Sarah’s Husband," you are in trouble when those roles inevitably change or end. Spread your identity across different pillars—hobbies, community, fitness, spirituality. If one pillar collapses, the whole roof doesn't fall in.
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3. Practice "Negative Visualization"
This sounds depressing but it’s a Stoic powerhouse move. Occasionally imagine that the things you love are gone. Not to be sad, but to realize how much you actually value them now. It turns "nothing lasts forever" from a threat into a reason for gratitude.
4. Stop Searching for "The End State"
Stop saying "I'll be happy when..." There is no "when." There is no final level where the music stops and you get a trophy and everything stays perfect. Life is just a series of rooms. You stay in one for a while, learn what you can, and then the door to the next one opens. Sometimes you’re pushed through it. Sometimes you walk through it. Either way, you're moving.
The Reality of Leaving a Legacy
We talk about "leaving a legacy" as a way to last forever. We build monuments. We write books. We name buildings after donors.
But even those fade.
The Library of Alexandria burned. The Ozymandias poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley nails this—a traveler finds a ruined statue in the desert of a king who thought his works would make the "mighty despair." Instead, there's just sand.
True legacy isn't about lasting forever. It’s about the ripple effect you have on the people who are here now. If you help one person, and they help another, that’s a chain of events that continues even after your name is forgotten. That’s a much more realistic and beautiful way to handle the fact that you, too, are temporary.
Actionable Steps for Navigating Change
- Audit your "clinging": Identify one thing you are holding onto—a grudge, an old version of yourself, a dead-end project—and acknowledge that its time has passed.
- Review your career path: Don't look for the "forever company." Look for the "forever skill"—the ability to learn and unlearn.
- Invest in experiences over things: Physical objects decay or get lost. Memories and the personal growth derived from experiences are the only things that truly "last" as long as you do.
- Reframe the "End": Instead of seeing an ending as a loss, view it as a "completion." A book isn't bad because it ends; the ending is what makes it a story.
Ultimately, the phrase they say nothing lasts forever shouldn't be a warning. It’s an invitation. It invites you to be present because this specific moment—this exact alignment of your life, your health, and the people around you—will never happen again. Don't waste it trying to make it stay. Use it while it's here.