It’s just four letters. You say it probably a hundred times a day without even blinking. But honestly, if you stop and look at the word that, things get weirdly complicated. We use it as a pointer, a connector, a filler, and sometimes as a way to define the very things we’re talking about. It’s the duct tape of the English language.
Think about it. "I know that you know that that that is different from the other that."
That sentence is grammatically correct. It’s also a nightmare. Most people assume they know what the word that means because, well, we’ve used it since we were toddlers. But in the world of linguistics and professional writing, it’s one of the most debated, misused, and invisible tools in our kit.
The Five Different Lives of "That"
Most words have a definition. The word that has roles. It’s a shapeshifter. Depending on where it sits in a sentence, it completely changes its biological makeup. Linguists usually break it down into a few main categories, but let’s be real: we mostly use it as a "demonstrative." That’s just a fancy way of saying we are pointing at something. "Look at that dog." You’re pointing. It’s a verbal finger.
Then it gets tricky. It becomes a relative pronoun. This is when it links a main clause to a relative clause. "The car that I bought." Here, the word that is acting like a bridge. It tells us exactly which car we’re talking about. Without it, the sentence falls apart or feels clunky.
Sometimes it’s a conjunction. "I heard that you’re leaving." In this case, it’s just introducing a statement. It’s a placeholder. It tells the listener, "Hey, a thought is coming up next." Interestingly, in casual conversation, we often delete this version of the word that entirely. "I heard you’re leaving." See? The meaning stays the same, but the word vanishes.
Then there’s the adverbial use. "It wasn’t that cold." Here, it’s modifying "cold." It’s basically a synonym for "very" or "to that degree." It’s amazing how one tiny word can flip between being a pointer, a bridge, and a measuring stick.
Why Everyone Argues Over Which and That
If you’ve ever used a grammar checker or worked with a cranky editor, you’ve probably run into the "Which vs. That" war. It’s the hill many grammarians choose to die on.
The rule—at least in American English—is about "restrictive" versus "non-restrictive" clauses. Use the word that if the information is essential to the sentence. Use "which" if you’re just adding a fun little side note.
Take these two sentences:
- The cookies that have chocolate chips are gone.
- The cookies, which have chocolate chips, are gone.
In the first one, only the chocolate chip ones are gone. The oatmeal ones are still there. The word that is doing heavy lifting; it’s defining the subject. In the second one, all the cookies are gone, and oh, by the way, they happened to have chocolate chips. Notice the commas? Commas are the best friends of "which" and the enemies of the word that.
Actually, British English is way more relaxed about this. They often use "which" where Americans insist on the word that. It’s one of those regional quirks that makes global editing such a headache. Honestly, if the sentence makes sense, most people won't call you out on it unless you're submitting a thesis to Oxford or Harvard.
The Secret History of the Word That
We didn't just invent this word out of thin air. It’s old. Like, "Old English" old. It comes from the Proto-Germanic that, which basically meant "the." Back in the day, English had a much more complex system of genders and cases, similar to modern German. The word that was originally the neuter form of "the."
Over centuries, as English stripped away its complicated endings and gendered nouns, the word that survived as a general-purpose pointer. It’s a linguistic survivor. It outlasted dozens of other words that died out because it was too useful to lose.
Bryan Garner, the author of Garner's Modern English Usage, points out that the word that is often "deleted" by writers trying to be concise. He calls this "that-deletion." While it makes writing tighter, deleting it can sometimes lead to "garden-path sentences" where the reader gets lost halfway through and has to start over.
When to Cut It and When to Keep It
There is a huge trend in modern writing to "delete your thats."
The logic is simple: if the sentence works without it, get rid of it.
"I believe that we will win" becomes "I believe we will win."
It’s punchier. It’s faster. It feels more "human" and less like a legal document.
But you have to be careful. Sometimes removing the word that creates a "miscue."
Look at this: "The mayor announced yesterday a new tax would be implemented."
For a split second, the reader thinks the mayor announced "yesterday." Like, he literally announced the day itself. If you write, "The mayor announced yesterday that a new tax..." the clarity returns instantly.
Good writing isn't about following a rule 100% of the time. It’s about rhythm. Sometimes you need the word that to slow the reader down or to clarify a complex thought. Don't be a slave to the "delete" key.
Common Misconceptions About "That"
One of the biggest myths is that you can’t use the word that to refer to people. You’ve probably heard a teacher say, "Use who for people and that for things."
Actually? Not entirely true.
While "The girl who lives next door" is preferred in formal writing, "The girl that lives next door" has been used by master writers for centuries. It’s not "wrong," it’s just less formal. Shakespeare used it. Chaucer used it. Even the King James Bible used it. If it’s good enough for them, it’s probably okay for your casual blog post. That said, if you’re writing a resume, stick to "who." It just sounds more professional.
Another weird thing? The "double that."
"I knew that that was a mistake."
It looks ugly. It feels repetitive. But it’s perfectly fine English. The first "that" is a conjunction, and the second is a demonstrative pronoun. You can usually fix this by changing the second one to "it" or "this," but don't feel like you've committed a crime if you leave it.
The Psychology of Using "That" vs. "This"
There’s actually a psychological component to how we choose the word that. It’s all about "deixis"—a fancy term for how language points to things in time or space.
"This" is close. It’s in your hand. It’s your idea.
"That" is far. It’s over there. It’s someone else’s idea.
In arguments, people often use the word that to distance themselves from an uncomfortable topic. Instead of saying "I don't like this situation," they might say "I don't like that." It pushes the problem away. It’s a subtle linguistic shield.
How to Audit Your Own Writing
If you want to sound more like a human and less like an AI, you need to master your "thats." AI tends to be very "proper." It almost always includes the conjunction that. It rarely uses the word as a filler or in a slangy way.
To make your writing feel more authentic, try these steps:
- Read it out loud. If you wouldn't say the word "that" in a conversation with a friend, delete it from your draft.
- Check for "that" clusters. If you have four sentences in a row starting with "I think that," "I feel that," "I know that," you’re being lazy. Vary the structure.
- Use "that" for emphasis. "It was that good." This adds a conversational flavor that "It was very good" just can't match.
- Watch the "Which" trap. If you see a "which" without a comma before it, you probably meant to use the word that.
Practical Next Steps
Now that you've looked under the hood of the word that, try applying it to your own work.
First, go through your most recent email or article and highlight every time you used the word. You’ll probably be shocked at how often it appears. Try deleting half of them. Does the meaning change? Does it flow better? Usually, the answer is yes.
Next, pay attention to how you use it in speech versus writing. We are much more "that-heavy" when we write because we’re trying to be precise. Loosening up on the "thats" is the easiest way to make your written voice sound more natural and engaging.
Finally, don't overthink the "Which vs. That" rule unless you’re writing for a major publication with a strict style guide (like AP or Chicago). Most readers won't notice if you swap them, as long as the sentence is clear. Focus on the rhythm and the clarity of your message, and let the word that be the invisible helper it was always meant to be.
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Actionable Insights:
- Audit for Clutter: Scan your documents for "I think that" or "He said that" and remove the word to see if the sentence gains punch.
- Clarify Subjecthood: Always keep "that" if the sentence could be misread without it, especially after verbs of saying or thinking.
- Check Regionality: Use "that" for essential info in US English, but feel free to be more flexible if writing for a UK audience.
- Distance Check: Use "this" to bring ideas closer to the reader and "that" to point to external or distant concepts.