On a humid June day in 1954, a young woman named Ruth Bader stood in a living room in Rockville Centre, Long Island. There were no cameras from the New York Times. No paparazzi. Just a small group of family gathered in front of a fireplace at her soon-to-be in-laws' house. She was 21. She had just graduated from Cornell.
Most people think of the "Notorious RBG" as this legal titan who lived her whole life in a black robe. But that day, she was just a bride starting a life with the man she called the only boy who "cared that I had a brain."
The Wedding Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Her Husband Almost Didn’t Have
The wedding of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her husband, Martin "Marty" Ginsburg, wasn't a lavish affair. It was actually kind of a budget-saving move. They got married at Marty’s parents' home on June 23, 1954, specifically so they could keep their savings for a European honeymoon. Honestly, that's such a relatable move even now.
They met on a blind date at Cornell when she was 17 and he was 18. Marty was gregarious, a golfer, and a bit of a jokester. Ruth was... well, Ruth. Quiet and serious. But Marty saw her. Really saw her.
Their son James later joked that Marty’s first thought was that she was "awfully cute," but his second was that she was "awfully smart." In the 1950s, that was a rare combination for a man to appreciate. Most guys back then were threatened by a woman who could out-think them. Not Marty.
A Living Room Ceremony in Rockville Centre
The ceremony took place at 37 Dogwood Lane. It’s a Colonial-style house that overlooks a golf course. Imagine the scene: a mid-century living room, the scent of summer flowers, and a union that would literally change American law.
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There’s a legendary bit of advice Ruth got on her wedding day from her mother-in-law, Celia Ginsburg. Celia handed her a earplug. She told Ruth that in every good marriage, "it helps sometimes to be a little deaf."
Ruth took that to heart. She used it in her marriage, and later, she famously used it on the Supreme Court bench when her colleagues said things that were, shall we say, less than enlightened.
Why Their Marriage Was "Couple Goals" Before That Was a Thing
You can't talk about the wedding of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her husband without talking about the 56 years that followed. This wasn't a 1950s "trad" marriage. It was a partnership of equals.
When they moved to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, for Marty’s ROTC assignment right after the wedding, Ruth realized she was a disaster in the kitchen. She once tried to make a tuna casserole that was apparently so bad it became family legend. Marty, out of pure self-preservation, decided he would be the cook.
- He became a master chef. He even wrote a cookbook later called Chef Supreme.
- He was her biggest campaigner. When Ruth was being considered for the Supreme Court, Marty was the one calling everyone he knew to make sure she stayed on the short list.
- He moved for her. He gave up a massive, lucrative tax law practice in New York to move to D.C. when she got appointed to the D.C. Circuit.
It’s pretty rare to see a man in that era so comfortably play the "supporting role." But Marty didn't see it as a supporting role. He saw them as a team.
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The Hard Times
It wasn't all just dinner parties and legal triumphs. Very early on, when they were both at Harvard Law, Marty was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had a 5% chance of living.
Ruth was a superhero during this time. No joke. She was:
- Caring for their toddler daughter, Jane.
- Going to her own classes.
- Taking notes for Marty's classes from his classmates.
- Typing up Marty’s senior paper from his dictation.
- Doing her own work at 2 a.m.
She rarely slept more than three hours a night. Marty recovered, graduated, and they moved to New York. But that period forged something in them that most couples never have to face.
The Legacy of a 56-Year Love Affair
Marty passed away in 2010. Shortly before he died, he wrote Ruth a note. It said, "You are the only person I have loved in my life, setting aside, a bit, parents and kids and their kids. And I have admired and loved you almost since the day we first met at Cornell."
That’s the kind of stuff they make movies about. In fact, they did (it's called On the Basis of Sex).
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People often look at the wedding of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her husband as the start of a "feminist" marriage, and it was. But it was also just a really good marriage between two people who liked each other. Marty was the first person to tell Ruth she was better than she thought she was. He pushed her. He made her laugh.
What You Can Take Away From Their Story
If you’re looking at their wedding and marriage for inspiration, the lessons are pretty clear:
- Find a partner who values your brain. Don't settle for someone who wants you to "play small" so they can feel big.
- Ignore gender roles if they don't work for you. If one person is a better cook, let them cook. If one person’s career is taking off, support it.
- Be a little deaf. Not everything your partner says in a moment of frustration needs a rebuttal.
- Build a team. The Ginsburgs didn't succeed despite each other; they succeeded because of each other.
If you want to walk in the footsteps of this iconic couple, you can actually visit Rockville Centre to see the exterior of the house where it all began. It’s a private residence now, but it stands as a quiet monument to a day in 1954 when two kids from Cornell decided to change the world together.
Next time you're thinking about your own relationship or even just historical icons, remember that behind the "Notorious RBG" was a guy named Marty who was her biggest fan. That's a legacy worth celebrating just as much as any court ruling.