The internet has a way of turning true crime into a soap opera. When the news broke about the arrests of Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt, the world didn't just look at the horrific details of the "8 Passengers" case; they started looking at the relationship between the two women. People were obsessed. They saw two women living together, working together, and eventually getting arrested together. Naturally, the question started trending everywhere: were Jodi and Ruby lovers?
It’s a complicated question because the answer isn't a simple yes or no found in a court transcript. Instead, the answer lies in the bizarre, high-control environment Jodi created.
Honestly, the speculation didn't come out of nowhere. You had Ruby, a once-famous parenting YouTuber, leaving her husband, Kevin Franke, and moving into Jodi’s massive desert home in Ivins, Utah. They weren't just roommates. They were business partners in "ConneXions," a mental health company that many former members have since described as cult-like. When you see two people isolate themselves from their families to create a private world, rumors start flying.
But to understand if they were actually in a romantic relationship, you have to look at the ideology Jodi preached. It was anything but romantic.
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The Nature of the Bond: Were Jodi and Ruby Lovers or Something Else?
The legal documents tell a story of abuse, not a love story. In the 2023-2024 court proceedings, prosecutors laid out a timeline of how Jodi Hildebrandt effectively dismantled Ruby’s life. Jodi wasn't just a friend; she was a mentor, a therapist, and eventually, the person who had total control over Ruby’s reality.
Was there a physical relationship? No evidence of a sexual or romantic entanglement was ever presented by the Washington County Attorney’s Office. In fact, Jodi’s teachings were rooted in a very specific, rigid version of Mormon-adjacent extremism. She frequently spoke about "distortion" and "Truth." In her world, many things were considered sinful or "distorted," and her brand of "healing" often involved extreme deprivation and shaming.
It's kind of ironic. While the public was busy wondering if they were a couple, the two women were actually practicing a lifestyle that rejected almost all forms of normal human connection.
A Relationship of Control
If you look at the journals seized by police, which were later released to the public, the narrative is chilling. Ruby wrote about the "work" they were doing, which we now know involved the systematic torture of Ruby’s youngest children. In these writings, Jodi is treated more like a prophet or a divine guide than a partner.
- Ruby followed Jodi’s instructions to the letter.
- She viewed Jodi as the person who saved her from "sin."
- Their bond was built on shared delusions of religious superiority.
When people ask if they were lovers, they are usually looking for a traditional motive. We want to believe there was a "reason" they stayed together, like love or passion. But the reality is much darker. It was a shared psychological breakdown fueled by Jodi’s manipulative "therapy" techniques.
What the Family Says
Kevin Franke’s legal team has been pretty vocal about the "spell" Ruby was under. According to his filings and various interviews, Ruby’s personality shifted entirely once she started working with Jodi. She stopped being a mother and started being a soldier for Jodi’s cause.
None of the family members, including Ruby’s sisters—who are also popular YouTubers—ever hinted at a romantic relationship. They described it as a "hijacking" of Ruby’s mind.
Why the Rumor Persistent in the True Crime Community
We love a scandal. That’s basically why the question "were Jodi and Ruby lovers" refuses to die. In the age of TikTok sleuths, people look for "clues" in old YouTube videos. They point to the way they looked at each other or the fact that they spent 24 hours a day together.
But there’s a danger in sexualizing this specific story.
By focusing on whether they were a couple, we risk downplaying the actual mechanics of the cult-like control Jodi exerted. Jodi Hildebrandt has a long history. Long before Ruby, she was disciplined by the state of Utah for revealing a patient's secrets to the LDS church. She had a pattern of inserting herself into families and tearing them apart.
- She would identify a "weakness" in a client.
- She would isolate that client from their support system.
- She would become their sole source of "Truth."
Ruby Franke was the ultimate prize for Jodi. She had a massive platform and a following of millions.
The Physical Evidence from the Ivins Home
When police raided the home in August 2023, after one of the children escaped through a window to find water and help, they found a house of horrors. There were rolls of duct tape. There were bandages. There was a safe room.
What they didn't find were the trappings of a romantic partnership. There were no shared bedrooms in the traditional sense, no photos of a life built on mutual affection. Instead, it was a workplace of indoctrination. The "lovers" theory falls apart when you see the clinical, cold, and punitive nature of the environment they created.
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Deconstructing the "LDS Connection"
Both women were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), though the church eventually distanced itself from Jodi’s teachings. In that culture, a "same-sex" relationship would have been a massive violation of their public-facing values.
Jodi’s entire business model was based on "sexual integrity." She made a living telling men and women how to avoid "sexual addiction." For her to have been in a romantic relationship with Ruby would have been a total contradiction of the very lies she used to control her followers. While humans are certainly capable of hypocrisy, the evidence here points toward a different kind of obsession: power.
Power vs. Passion
Jodi Hildebrandt didn't want a lover. She wanted a subject.
Ruby Franke didn't want a girlfriend. She wanted a savior.
When those two needs met, it created a feedback loop that ended in the hospitalizations of children and prison sentences for both women. They are currently serving four consecutive 1-to-15-year sentences, the maximum allowed under Utah law for their specific charges.
The Lessons We Actually Need to Learn
Instead of wondering about their private lives, we should probably be looking at how this happened in plain sight. For years, the 8 Passengers channel showed "parenting" that many viewers flagged as concerning. But because it was wrapped in a package of "family values" and "religious discipline," it was allowed to thrive.
If you are following this case, the real takeaway isn't about their sexual orientation. It’s about the following:
- The Danger of Isolation: Once Ruby cut off her parents and siblings, she had no one to pull her back to reality.
- The Red Flags of "Life Coaches": Jodi operated without the oversight that licensed therapists usually have, using her "ConneXions" platform to bypass ethical standards.
- The Vulnerability of Influencers: People who live their lives for the camera are often deeply lonely and susceptible to anyone who offers them a sense of "real" purpose.
The "were Jodi and Ruby lovers" narrative is a distraction. It's a way for the public to make sense of something senseless. It’s easier to understand a "forbidden romance" than it is to understand how a mother could be convinced to starve and bind her own children in the name of God.
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Final Reality Check
There is zero documented proof that Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt were lovers. Every piece of testimony, every police report, and every recovered journal entry points to a relationship defined by psychological dominance and a shared, warped religious mission.
They weren't a couple in love. They were a duo in a delusion.
To stay informed on how to protect vulnerable people from similar high-control groups, focus on the warning signs of "coercive control." This is the legal term for what Jodi did to Ruby. It’s a pattern of behavior used to harm, punish, or frighten a victim. It’s not about sex; it’s about the total erasure of the victim’s autonomy.
Next Steps for Concerned Observers:
To truly understand the dynamics of the Franke/Hildebrandt case, look into the BITE model of authoritarian control developed by Steven Hassan. It breaks down how groups control Behavior, Information, Thoughts, and Emotions. Applying this model to the ConneXions curriculum provides a much clearer picture of what was happening in that Utah home than any rumor about a secret romance ever could.
If you or someone you know is being isolated from family or encouraged to follow a "mentor" who demands total obedience, seek help from organizations like the Cult Education Institute or professional therapists who specialize in religious trauma and coercive control. Understanding the difference between a healthy relationship and a high-control one is the best way to prevent another tragedy like this from unfolding.