Death is expensive. It's also confusing. When you’re standing in the middle of Rutland, Vermont, looking for someone to handle the heavy lifting of a final goodbye, the name Tossing Funeral Home comes up almost immediately. It’s been a staple of the community for a long time. Decades, actually. But choosing a funeral home isn't like picking a place for brunch. You can’t just "try it out" and see if you like the vibe. You need to know if they actually respect the traditions of the Green Mountain State or if they’re just another business with a storefront on North Main Street.
Honestly, the funeral industry in Vermont is a small world.
Everyone knows everyone. If you grew up in Rutland County, you probably have a relative who was handled by the Tossing family. But things change. Ownership shifts. Expectations for what a "good" funeral looks like have evolved from stiff, formal viewing rooms to more personalized, sometimes even casual, celebrations of life. Tossing Funeral Home has had to navigate those waters while keeping that old-school Vermont dignity intact.
The History Behind Tossing Funeral Home in Rutland Vermont
You can't talk about this place without talking about the Tossing family. It started with James J. Tossing. He wasn't just some guy with a business degree; he was a licensed embalmer and funeral director back when that meant something very specific in a local community. He established the home at 39 North Main Street. That building? It’s iconic. It’s one of those classic, sprawling Victorian-style structures that looks exactly like what you’d imagine a funeral home in New England should look like.
Heavy wood. Tall ceilings. A certain quiet that feels built into the walls.
For years, James ran the show. Then, his son, Lee J. Tossing, took the reins. This is where the local legacy really solidified. If you talk to older folks in Rutland, they remember Lee. They remember him being at the grocery store, at church, and then being the guy who showed up at the door when the worst happened. That’s the thing about Vermont business—it’s personal. You aren't just a client; you're a neighbor.
Eventually, the business transitioned. It’s now officially known as Tossing Funeral Home, Inc., and while the names on the licenses might change over the generations, the physical location remains a landmark in the city’s downtown corridor. It stands right there across from the library, a permanent fixture in a city that has seen its fair share of ups and downs.
What Actually Happens Inside?
People get weird about funeral homes. They think it's all "Six Feet Under" drama. In reality, it’s mostly logistics and a lot of paperwork. When you walk into Tossing, you’re usually meeting with a director to handle the legalities first. Vermont has specific laws about death certificates and transport permits. You can’t just move a body; you need the state to sign off.
The facility itself is designed for flow.
There are parlors for viewing. There’s a space for the casket or the urn. They handle traditional burials—the whole nine yards with the hearse and the procession to St. Joseph’s Cemetery or Calvary. But they also deal with the growing trend of cremation. Rutland has seen a massive shift toward cremation over the last ten years. Why? Mostly cost. Also, people in Vermont tend to be outdoorsy; they often want their ashes scattered on a particular mountain or near a specific stream rather than being tucked away in a marble vault.
Tossing offers:
- Pre-planning services (which honestly, more people should do so their kids aren't guessing).
- Coordination with local churches, whether it's Grace Congregational or the Catholic parishes.
- Obituary writing and placement in the Rutland Herald.
- Military honors coordination for veterans.
Dealing with the Rutland Herald
If you’re from here, you know the Rutland Herald is the record of truth. Tossing Funeral Home handles the interface with the paper. Writing an obituary is an art form. You have to condense eighty years of life into six inches of newsprint without missing the fact that the deceased won the blue ribbon for apple pie at the Vermont State Fair in 1994. The staff at Tossing basically acts as your editor during this time.
Costs, Transparency, and the "Hidden" Fees
Let’s be real for a second. Funerals are pricey. A traditional service in Vermont can easily run between $7,000 and $12,000 once you factor in the casket, the vault, the professional service fees, and the cemetery costs. Tossing is known for being "fair," but "fair" in the funeral world still means a significant investment.
One thing you have to watch out for in this industry is the "non-declinable professional service fee."
Every funeral home has it. It covers the overhead—the lights, the staff on call 24/7, the specialized equipment. At Tossing, they are generally pretty transparent about their General Price List (GPL). By law (The Funeral Rule), they have to give you this list if you ask for it. Don’t be afraid to ask. If a home gets squirrelly about showing you the numbers, walk away.
Tossing's reputation has largely stayed intact because they don't do the high-pressure sales pitch. You don't need the $5,000 mahogany casket if your budget only allows for the $900 cloth-covered one. They get that. Rutland is a blue-collar town. People work hard for their money, and they don't like being swindled, especially when they’re grieving.
Why Location Matters on North Main Street
Location is everything. If you’ve ever tried to park in downtown Rutland during a snowstorm, you know it’s a nightmare. Tossing has its own parking, which is a massive relief for families. You’re situated right in the heart of the city. This matters because after a service, people usually head to a "reception."
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Being on North Main means you’re minutes away from places like the Palms or Southside Steakhouse if you're doing a formal meal, or just a quick drive to a local VFW hall. The convenience of the Tossing Funeral Home in Rutland Vermont cannot be overstated for local families who have relatives flying in from Burlington or driving up from Bennington.
Navigating the Emotional Weight
The staff at a place like Tossing isn't just there to move chairs. They act as part-time therapists. Grief is messy. People yell. People cry. Sometimes people laugh at the wrong times. A good funeral director knows how to fade into the background while keeping everything on schedule.
There’s a specific nuance to a Vermont funeral. It’s often quiet. It’s understated. We aren't big on flashy, neon-lit memorials. We like wood, stone, and silence. Tossing has mastered this "Vermont aesthetic." They don't try to make it a Hollywood production. They keep it respectful.
Misconceptions About the Business
One big myth? That the funeral home owns the cemetery. They don't. Tossing works with the cemeteries, but the fees for digging the grave and the "perpetual care" of the plot are separate. You’ll pay Tossing for their services, and then you’ll likely write a separate check to the cemetery association.
Another one? That you have to be embalmed.
Nope.
Vermont law doesn't require embalming unless there are specific circumstances (like certain contagious diseases or if the body is crossing state lines via common carrier). If you want a green burial or a quick cremation, you can skip the chemicals. Tossing can facilitate these "simpler" arrangements, though many traditional families still opt for the full preparation.
Practical Steps When Working With Tossing
If you find yourself in the position of needing to call them, don't do it alone if you can help it. Bring a friend who isn't as emotionally invested.
- Ask for the GPL immediately. This is your roadmap. It prevents "sticker shock" later.
- Verify the obituary details. Mistakes in the Rutland Herald are permanent and annoying. Double-check the spelling of every grandchild's name.
- Discuss the "Celebration of Life" vs. "Funeral." If your loved one hated church, tell the director. Tossing can set up the room to feel less like a chapel and more like a gathering space.
- Check the veteran status. If the deceased served, Tossing needs the DD-214 form. This gets you a free flag, a headstone, and sometimes a spot in the Vermont Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Randolph.
- Think about the flowers. Local shops like Garland’s or Hawley’s know the Tossing layout well. They know exactly where to put the sprays so they don't block the photos.
The Reality of Grief in Rutland
Rutland is a tight-knit community. When someone passes, word travels fast. Tossing Funeral Home functions as a sort of community hub during those days between the passing and the burial. You’ll see people you haven't seen in twenty years at a wake there.
It’s about more than just a business transaction. It’s about the finality of a life lived in the shadow of Killington Peak. Whether you’re dealing with an unexpected loss or a long-expected passing, having a local institution that understands the geography—both physical and emotional—of Rutland County makes a difference.
What to do right now
If you are currently in the planning stages or have just lost someone, your first move is to locate the "important folder." Most Vermonters have one. It’s usually in a filing cabinet or a desk drawer. Look for a will, life insurance policies, and any pre-arranged funeral contracts. If a pre-arrangement exists with Tossing, half your work is already done.
If there is no plan, take a breath. Call a family meeting. Decide on a budget before you walk through the doors at 39 North Main St. Knowing your "out-of-pocket" limit prevents you from making emotional overspending decisions in the heat of the moment. Once you have that number, call the director and be upfront about it. They are used to these conversations. They would rather help you plan a service you can afford than see you struggle with a bill you can't.
Ensure you have the following ready before your first meeting:
- Full legal name and Social Security number of the deceased.
- Parents' names (including mother's maiden name).
- Educational background and occupation history.
- A high-resolution photo for the obituary and memorial folders.
- Clothing for the deceased (including all undergarments and shoes).
Taking these steps immediately will streamline the process at Tossing Funeral Home and allow you to focus on what actually matters: saying goodbye.