Kids are weird. Not just because they eat dirt or refuse to wear socks in January, but because the way we look at them—the very idea of childhood—is actually a pretty new invention. If you’ve ever felt like modern parenting is an impossible treadmill of enrichment classes and organic snacks, it’s probably because of how we transitioned into what historians often call the time of the child.
It wasn't always like this. Honestly, for most of human history, a kid was basically just a "small adult" who hadn't learned how to hold a plow yet.
Then everything changed.
The time of the child isn't just a calendar entry; it’s a massive psychological shift that started around the Enlightenment and hit overdrive in the 20th century. We stopped seeing children as workers or "economic assets" and started seeing them as "priceless" emotional projects. Philippe Ariès, a French historian who basically blew everyone's minds in 1960 with his book Centuries of Childhood, argued that the medieval world didn't even have a concept of childhood as a distinct phase of life. You were a baby, and then, boom, you were a participant in the adult world.
Where the Time of the Child Actually Came From
Look at any painting from the 12th century. The babies look like tiny, muscular middle-aged men with receding hair lines. That wasn't because artists were bad at their jobs. It’s because the "sentimental" view of the child didn't exist yet. The time of the child began to emerge when we stopped worrying about kids dying of the plague every five minutes and started worrying about their "souls" and "development."
Jean-Jacques Rousseau is the guy usually blamed—or thanked—for this. In his 1762 book Emile, or On Education, he suggested that children are inherently good and should be allowed to grow naturally. It was radical. Before that, the prevailing vibe was "original sin," which meant your job as a parent was to beat the devil out of them so they’d be decent humans.
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By the time the Industrial Revolution rolled around, things got messy. You had kids working 14-hour shifts in coal mines while Romantic poets were simultaneously writing odes to the "innocence" of youth. This tension is what ultimately solidified the time of the child in the law. We got child labor laws. We got mandatory schooling. Suddenly, a child’s place wasn't in the factory; it was in the classroom. This shifted the family dynamic forever. Kids went from being "economically useful" to "economically useless but emotionally priceless," as sociologist Viviana Zelizer brilliantly put it.
The Dark Side of Being "Priceless"
We’ve created a bit of a monster.
Because we moved into this hyper-focused time of the child, the pressure on parents today is astronomical. In the 19th century, if your kid was healthy and didn't steal anything, you were a success. Now? If they aren't hitting their developmental milestones by age two and learning Mandarin by age four, we feel like failures.
We’ve professionalized childhood.
We see this in "intensive parenting." It’s a style of child-rearing that demands massive amounts of time, money, and emotional labor. It assumes that every moment of a child’s life is a "teachable moment." But here’s the kicker: kids are actually incredibly resilient. We’ve spent so much time curating this specific time of the child that we’ve forgotten that kids used to just... hang out. They played in the dirt without a supervised "sensory bin." They walked to the store alone.
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The Digital Erasure of Childhood
Something weird is happening right now. We might be moving out of the time of the child and into something else. Some call it "adultification."
You’ve seen the "Sephora Kids" on TikTok, right? Ten-year-olds are buying $70 anti-aging serums. They don't want toys; they want iPhones and skincare routines. The boundary between being a kid and being an adult is blurring again, but this time it’s driven by the internet rather than a need for farm labor.
Neil Postman wrote about this decades ago in The Disappearance of Childhood. He argued that because television (and now the internet) gives kids access to adult information—sex, violence, money, cynicism—the "wall" protecting the time of the child is crumbling. If a kid knows everything an adult knows, do they stay a kid? Probably not.
Why We Can't Go Back (And Shouldn't)
It’s easy to romanticize the past. You might think, "Man, I wish my kids could just run wild like they did in the 70s." But the time of the child also brought us things like pediatric medicine, rights for minors, and a deep understanding of developmental psychology. We know now that trauma in childhood rewires the brain. We didn't know that in 1850.
The trick is finding the balance.
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We need to respect the time of the child without suffocating the child. Over-parenting is just as stifling as neglect, just in a more expensive, exhausting way. We’ve turned childhood into a high-stakes performance, and honestly, the kids are tired. The parents are tired too.
What You Can Actually Do About It
If you feel like the modern time of the child is crushing your soul, it’s time to push back against the "enrichment" culture. You don't need a study to tell you that bored kids are creative kids.
- Stop the "Resume Building": Your seven-year-old does not need a competitive hobby. They need to play with a stick.
- Normalize Risk: Let them climb the tree. Let them walk to the park. The time of the child should include the freedom to fail in small ways.
- Audit the Tech: If the digital world is erasing the boundary of childhood, you have to be the gatekeeper. There is plenty of time to be an "influencer" later.
- De-prioritize Perfection: A messy house and a kid who spends three hours staring at a bug is a sign of a healthy time of the child, not a failure of parenting.
The history of childhood shows us that how we treat kids is a choice, not a biological constant. We invented this current version of the time of the child, which means we have the power to change the rules. Give them back their boredom. Give them back their privacy. Most importantly, give them the space to be something other than a project you’re trying to "finish."
Embracing a slower, less curated version of this life stage is the only way to ensure the time of the child remains a period of genuine growth rather than a high-pressure rehearsal for a life they haven't even started yet. Start by saying "no" to one extra-curricular activity this week. See what happens when the schedule is empty. That’s where the real magic of being a kid actually lives.