It was late. The Kia Forum in Los Angeles was packed, the air was thick with that weird mix of high-stakes tension and cheap beer, and Tom Brady—the man with seven rings and a strictly regulated diet—was sitting there taking hits. Not the kind from a 300-pound linebacker, but the kind that actually leave a mark. People expected a light ribbing. What they got was a three-hour verbal massacre.
The roast of tom brady comedians didn't just show up to collect a paycheck. They came to dismantle a legacy. Honestly, if you watched the live stream on Netflix, you saw something shift in real-time. It wasn't just "haha, you're old." It was "we are going to talk about your divorce, your crypto losses, and your parenting in front of millions."
The Night the GOAT Became a Punching Bag
Most people think these roasts are 100% scripted and the "victim" knows every word coming. That’s usually true. But with the roast of tom brady comedians, things got messy. Fast.
Jeff Ross, the undisputed "Roastmaster General," kicked things off by doing what Jeff Ross does: he stepped over the line immediately. He brought up Robert Kraft, the Patriots owner, and a certain "massage" controversy from 2019. You could feel the oxygen leave the room.
Brady actually stood up. He walked to the mic and whispered—loud enough for the world to hear—"Don't say that sh*t again."
Was it staged? Andrew Schulz later said on his Flagrant podcast that the anger was 100% real. Apparently, there was a pre-show rule: no Kraft massage jokes. Ross broke the rule in the first five minutes. It set a tone of genuine discomfort that most modern, sanitized comedy specials lack.
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Who Actually Won the Night?
If you ask the internet, there’s one name that keeps coming up. Nikki Glaser.
She was surgical. While others relied on shouting or props, Glaser just stood there and landed haymaker after haymaker. One of her most brutal lines? "You have seven rings. Well, eight, now that Gisele gave hers back."
Ouch.
The room erupted. It was the kind of joke that makes you lean back and go, "Can she say that?" She also went after his retirement flip-flopping, comparing it to walking away from a pregnant girlfriend—a direct jab at his history with Bridget Moynahan.
But it wasn't just the pros. The roast of tom brady comedians list included:
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- Kevin Hart: The host who spent three hours bouncing around like a caffeinated toddler, resetting the room whenever a joke tanked.
- Tony Hinchcliffe: The Kill Tony host who went full "unhinged mode," roasting the other comedians more than Brady himself.
- Sam Jay: Who brought a much-needed Boston energy, basically telling Brady he was "too black for Boston" because of his jewelry and his PPP loan.
- Andrew Schulz: Who managed to make a Gisele joke about "f*cking a Brazilian out of half their purse" that had the crowd gasping.
The Weirdness of Bert and Tom
Not everything landed. If we’re being real, the segment with Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura was... polarizing. They did this PowerPoint presentation thing. It felt a bit like watching two guys do an inside joke at a party where nobody else knows the punchline.
Social media was not kind. Reddit threads immediately filled with fans of their 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast wondering why they didn't just do their usual riffing. It felt stiff. It felt like they were trying too hard to be "thematic" instead of just being funny.
But that’s the risk of live TV. In a three-hour marathon, you’re going to have some dead air.
Why This Roast Felt Different
We live in a time where everyone is terrified of being "cancelled." Most celebrity roasts lately have felt like a group of friends giving each other slightly aggressive hugs.
The roast of tom brady comedians threw that out the window. They went back to the old-school Friars Club style—vicious, personal, and borderline offensive. They talked about Aaron Hernandez. They talked about Tom’s plastic surgery (or "new face," as several called it).
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Even Bill Belichick showed up. Watching the greatest coach of all time trade barbs with his former QB was surreal. Belichick, usually a man of four-word sentences, actually had some of the best timing of the night. His jab at Rob Gronkowski—telling him to "stop doing your job" on the FOX pregame show—was a masterclass in deadpan delivery.
The Numbers Don't Lie
People actually watched this. Like, a lot of people.
Nielsen data showed the roast racked up over 1.6 billion viewing minutes in its first full week. It was the #1 show on Netflix for a reason. We love seeing the untouchables get touched. We love seeing a guy who seems to have a perfect life get reminded that he lost $30 million in crypto and his wife left him for a jiu-jitsu instructor.
Actionable Takeaways for Comedy Fans
If you're looking to dive deeper into this specific era of comedy, here is what you should actually do:
- Watch the Uncut Version: If you only saw clips on TikTok, you missed the pacing. The way Kevin Hart handles the "crashes" is a lesson in professional hosting.
- Check out Nikki Glaser’s Someday You'll Die: After this roast, her career went into overdrive. Her special shows why her "roast style" works—it's based on high-speed wordplay, not just being mean.
- Listen to the After-Action Reports: Both Andrew Schulz and Tom Segura did deep-dive episodes on their respective podcasts about what happened backstage. The stories about who was nervous and who was actually mad are better than the roast itself.
- Observe the Crowd: Watch the reaction shots of Kim Kardashian and Robert Kraft. It’s a case study in "how to take a joke when the world is watching you."
The roast of tom brady comedians reminded us that comedy is best when it's a little bit dangerous. It wasn't just a celebration of a football career; it was a public exorcism of a celebrity's ego. And honestly? Tom took it better than most people would. Except for the massage joke. He definitely didn't like that one.