You know that feeling when you're convinced your parents actually like your sibling more than you? It's a universal sting. Whether you're the "responsible" older child or the "babied" youngest, there is this constant, nagging suspicion that the scales aren't quite even. Judy Blume, the undisputed queen of writing the awkward reality of growing up, nailed this dynamic back in 1974 with The Pain and the Great One.
It started as a picture book. Later, it expanded into a series of first-chapter books, but the core remains the same: a brother and sister taking turns complaining about each other. It’s raw. It’s funny. Honestly, it’s a bit therapeutic.
The Brutal Truth of Sibling Rivalry
Blume doesn’t sugarcoat it. The book is split into two perspectives. First, we get the sister—The Great One. She thinks her brother is a complete "Pain." He’s messy, he’s loud, and he gets away with everything. Then, the perspective shifts. The brother thinks his sister is a "Great One" only in her own mind. To him, she’s a bossy know-it-all who gets all the praise just for existing.
What’s brilliant here is the lack of a mediator. There is no parent stepping in to say, "Now children, love each other." Instead, we see the internal monologue of two kids who are genuinely frustrated. It resonates because it's real. Most children's books try to teach a moral lesson about sharing or kindness. Blume just holds up a mirror to the chaos of a two-child household.
The "Pain" is about six years old. The "Great One" is about eight. That two-year gap is a literal canyon when you're that age. One is learning to tie shoes; the other is mastering the art of the eye-roll.
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Why This Story Survived the 70s
If you look at the publishing landscape in 1974, a lot of books were still trying to be "proper." Then comes Judy Blume. She had already rocked the boat with Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. She understood that kids don't want to be lectured; they want to be heard.
The Pain and the Great One succeeded because it validated a very specific type of loneliness. The "Pain" feels ignored because he isn't the "first" to do anything. The "Great One" feels burdened because she has to be the example. It’s a tug-of-war where neither side feels like they're winning.
Interestingly, the book's format changed over the years. The original 1974 version featured illustrations by Irene Trivas. In the mid-80s, it got a refresh with Katherine Coville’s art. By the time the 2000s rolled around, it became a full-blown series (Soupy Saturdays, Cool Zone, etc.) illustrated by James Stevenson. The stories expanded, but that central tension—the "he said, she said" of childhood—remained the heartbeat.
The "Pain" Perspective
The little brother is convinced he is the underdog. He sees his sister getting to stay up later. He sees her getting "important" responsibilities. In his mind, she's a dictator in pigtails. He thinks his parents love her more because she’s "smart" and "mature."
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The "Great One" Perspective
The older sister is exhausted. From her view, the brother is a wrecking ball. He gets all the attention because he's constantly making mistakes or needing help. She thinks her parents love him more because they spend all their time "oohing" and "aahing" over his basic accomplishments.
The Psychological Accuracy of Judy Blume
Child psychologists often talk about "birth order theory." While it's not a hard science, the archetypes Blume uses are remarkably accurate to how children perceive their roles.
The first-born often feels a loss of "status" when the second child arrives. They become the "Great One" by default, which carries a heavy weight of expectation. The second-born, or the "Pain," is often trying to carve out an identity in the shadow of someone who has already "been there, done that."
Blume captures the "comparison trap" perfectly. Each child looks at the other and sees a privileged life. They don't see their own advantages. They only see what the other person has that they don't. It's a masterclass in subjective reality.
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Reading It as an Adult
If you go back and read The Pain and the Great One as a parent or an older adult, it’s a completely different experience. You see the parents in the background, likely exhausted, trying their best to balance the needs of two very different humans.
You realize that the "Pain" and the "Great One" are both right—and both wrong. The parents love them equally, but that love looks different because the kids are different. One needs a hug; the other needs a boundary.
Actionable Steps for Using the Book Today
If you have kids who are constantly at each other's throats, or if you're just looking for a nostalgia trip that actually holds up, here is how to engage with this classic:
- The "Flip" Exercise: Read the book with your children, but have them read the "other" person's part. Have your oldest read the Pain’s section and vice versa. It’s a low-pressure way to build empathy.
- Journaling the "Pains": Ask your kids to write their own version. What makes their sibling a "Pain"? What makes them feel like a "Great One"? It reveals a lot about their internal world.
- Discuss the Unfairness: Acknowledge that things aren't always equal. Sometimes the older kid does get more freedom. Sometimes the younger kid does get more slack. Talking about it openly defangs the resentment.
- Check out the Later Series: If the original picture book is too short, the Pain and the Great One chapter books (like Going, Going, Gone!) are perfect for 2nd and 3rd graders who are starting to read independently. They cover school, friendships, and the mundane drama of elementary life.
Judy Blume didn't invent sibling rivalry, but she gave it a name that stuck for over fifty years. Whether you're a Pain or a Great One, the book is a reminder that you're not alone in your frustration. It’s a small book with a massive impact, proving that the simplest stories are often the most enduring because they refuse to lie to us about how hard it is to grow up.
To get the most out of the "Pain and the Great One" experience, start by finding the original 1974 text to see the roots of the characters. From there, move into the chapter book series to see how Blume evolved the sibling dynamic into more complex social situations like school projects and neighborhood birthdays. This progression helps young readers see that while the labels of "Pain" and "Great One" might stay, the relationship itself can grow and change over time.