Infidelity is a wrecking ball. When it happens in the quiet of a private home, it’s a tragedy; when it happens to a public figure who has built a multi-million dollar ministry on the foundation of "godly marriage," it’s an explosion. For years, the saga of the other woman Art Terkeurst was involved with has been a point of intense, often painful curiosity for those who followed Lysa Terkeurst’s work at Proverbs 31 Ministries. People weren't just being nosy. They were looking for answers because their own faith—or their own marriages—felt tied to the success of the Terkeursts.
It's messy.
Lysa Terkeurst didn't just wake up one day and decide to divorce her husband of nearly 30 years. She fought. She stayed. She reconciled. And then, she had to walk away for good. The timeline of this betrayal is long, complicated, and filled with the kind of details that make you realize how thin the line is between a "perfect" life and a total collapse.
What Actually Happened Between Art and the Other Woman?
Let's be clear about the facts. In 2017, Lysa shocked her massive following by announcing she was pursuing a divorce from Art. The reason? His ongoing infidelity and a struggle with substance abuse. This wasn't a one-time mistake or a momentary lapse in judgment. According to Lysa’s own public statements and subsequent legal filings, Art had been involved in a "repeated" pattern of behavior.
The specifics of the other woman Art Terkeurst was seeing often surface in discussions about a woman he reportedly met online. This wasn't a coworker or a family friend; it was a relationship facilitated by the digital world, which only adds a layer of modern heartbreak to the story. Lysa mentioned that Art had spent significant sums of money—thousands upon thousands of dollars—on this relationship. We’re talking about flights, jewelry, and a lifestyle funded by the very ministry resources and family savings that were supposed to be building a legacy.
It's a lot to process.
The betrayal wasn't just physical. It was financial and emotional. When a spouse creates a secret life, they aren't just lying about where they are on a Tuesday night. They are rewriting the history of the marriage. They are telling their partner that the reality they believe they are living in is actually a fiction. That is a specific kind of trauma that psychologists often call "betrayal trauma," and it's what Lysa had to navigate while under the microscope of public scrutiny.
The Reconciliation and the Second Collapse
Most people remember the 2018 vow renewal. It was beautiful. It was hopeful. It looked like a miracle. After the initial 2017 split, Art and Lysa went through intensive counseling. They did the work—or so it seemed. They stood in front of their family and friends and promised to start over. For a few years, it looked like the ultimate "redemption story" that the Christian world loves so much.
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But redemption isn't a straight line.
In early 2022, the news dropped that it was over for good. Lysa revealed that despite the vow renewal, Art had continued his patterns of infidelity. The "other woman" wasn't just a ghost from the past; the behavior had persisted. This second betrayal felt, for many, even worse than the first. It signaled that even with the best resources, the most prayers, and the loudest public declarations of healing, you cannot change a person who isn't ready to change themselves.
Why This Story Hits Different
- It challenges the "formula" that if you pray enough and follow the rules, your marriage will be protected.
- It highlights the reality that even "spiritual leaders" are susceptible to the same destructive impulses as anyone else.
- It validates the choice to leave. For many in conservative religious circles, divorce is a dirty word. Lysa’s decision gave a lot of women permission to prioritize their safety and sanity over a toxic "on-paper" marriage.
The Financial Fallout and Legal Messiness
When you look at the legal filings from the Terkeurst divorce, the picture gets even grimmer. Lysa alleged that Art had spent over $100,000 of their joint money on his mistress. This included buying her an expensive engagement ring—while he was still married and technically in the middle of reconciling with Lysa.
Honestly, it’s wild.
Imagine trying to rebuild your trust with someone while they are literally buying a diamond for someone else using your bank account. That’s not just a "mistake." That’s a calculated, parallel existence. The legal documents also touched on the toll this took on Lysa’s health. She famously battled breast cancer and a serious colon issue during these years of marital strife. Stress doesn't just hurt your heart; it wrecks your body.
The "other woman" in this scenario represents more than just a person. She represents the secret life that Art chose over his public reality. While the identity of these women (there were reports of multiple involvements) has mostly been kept out of the tabloid-level spotlight to protect privacy, the impact of their presence in the marriage was the primary catalyst for the end of the Terkeurst era.
Lessons from the Terkeurst Tragedy
There is a lot of noise surrounding the other woman Art Terkeurst chose to engage with, but if we move past the gossip, there are some pretty heavy lessons to be learned here.
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First, transparency is not the same as intimacy. Art was "transparent" during their reconciliation, or so Lysa thought. But intimacy requires a shared reality. You can't have intimacy when one person is holding back a massive piece of the truth.
Second, "saving" a marriage cannot be a solo mission. You can be the most forgiving, kind, and patient spouse in the world, but if the other person is still looking for an exit or a side-hustle relationship, the marriage will fail. It’s a hard truth, but it’s one that Lysa has talked about extensively in her more recent books like Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.
Third, trust your gut. Lysa has mentioned in various interviews and posts that there were often "niggles" or red flags she chose to explain away because she wanted to believe the best. We all do that. We want the dream to be real, so we ignore the things that don't add up.
Moving Beyond the Betrayal
Today, the narrative has shifted. Art has largely moved out of the public eye, while Lysa has entered a new chapter. She recently remarried a man named Chaz, and her social media is now filled with photos of a blended family and a "new normal."
But the ghost of the past still lingers for her readers. People still search for information about the affair because they want to know how to spot the signs in their own lives. They want to know if Art ever apologized, or if the "other woman" is still in the picture. The reality is that life isn't a scripted TV show. Sometimes there isn't a satisfying ending where the "villain" sees the error of their ways and the "hero" gets a perfect apology.
Sometimes, you just have to walk away and heal yourself.
Actionable Steps for Navigating Betrayal
If you find yourself in a situation where you suspect a "secret life" is being lived by your partner, or if you are dealing with the aftermath of a public or private infidelity, here is how you actually move forward without losing your mind.
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1. Secure Your Finances Immediately
One of the most devastating parts of the Terkeurst story was the drain on their shared resources. If you suspect infidelity, check the accounts. Look for hidden credit cards or unexplained Venmo transfers. It feels like spying, but it’s actually self-defense. Knowing the truth about your money is the first step toward independence.
2. Stop Looking for "The Why" From the Cheater
You will likely never get a reason that makes sense to you. Why did Art spend $100k on another woman while his wife had cancer? There is no "good" answer to that. The "why" is usually found in the other person's internal brokenness, not in anything you did or didn't do. Stop waiting for them to explain it in a way that satisfies your heart.
3. Build a "Truth Circle"
Lysa survived this because she had a core group of people who knew the truth even when she wasn't ready to tell the public. You need 2-3 people who you can be "ugly honest" with. If you are keeping your partner's secrets, you are helping them gaslight you.
4. Focus on "Post-Traumatic Growth"
Instead of just trying to "get back to normal," accept that "normal" is gone. The goal is to grow into someone who is stronger because of the fire, not someone who is just waiting for the embers to cool. This involves therapy that specifically targets betrayal trauma, which is different from standard marriage counseling.
5. Set Non-Negotiable Boundaries
Reconciliation requires 100% transparency. That means open phones, open passwords, and a willingness from the offending party to be inconvenienced for a long time. If the person who cheated is defensive about their privacy after they've been caught, they aren't ready to change.
The story of the Terkeursts is a cautionary tale, but it's also one of resilience. It proves that even when the "other woman" enters the frame and ruins the picture you've spent thirty years painting, you can still buy a new canvas. You can still start over. It’s just going to be a lot harder—and a lot more honest—than the first time around.