Change is weird. One day you’re fine, and the next, your entire routine feels like a suit that’s three sizes too small. We talk about it constantly—"change is the only constant"—but honestly, most of us have no idea what the meaning of change actually looks like when it's happening in real-time. It’s not just a buzzword for corporate retreats or a line in a self-help book. It’s a literal biological and psychological restructuring.
Most people think change is an event. You get a new job. You move to a new city. You break up. But those are just the triggers. The actual meaning of change is the messy, uncomfortable gap between who you were and who you’re becoming. It’s the "neutral zone," a term coined by transition expert William Bridges, where the old reality is gone but the new one isn't fully functional yet. It feels like floating in space without a tether. It’s terrifying, but it’s where the actual growth happens.
The Physics and Biology of Shifting Gears
Newton had some thoughts on this, even if he wasn't trying to be a life coach. His First Law of Motion basically says things keep doing what they're doing unless something forces them to stop. We are the same. Our brains are hardwired for homeostasis. We want things to stay the same because the "same" is safe. When we ask about the meaning of change, we’re often asking why it hurts so much.
It hurts because of the amygdala. This tiny, almond-shaped part of your brain views change as a threat. It doesn't matter if the change is "good," like a promotion. To your lizard brain, any deviation from the routine is a potential predator in the grass. This is why you feel anxious when life gets better. Your brain is scanning for the catch.
But there’s a flip side: neuroplasticity. This isn't just a fancy term scientists use to get grants. It’s the literal ability of your brain to reorganize itself. When you go through a major life shift, your neurons are firing in new patterns. You are physically building a new brain. If you don't change, your brain starts to prune connections it doesn't use. Basically, if you aren't changing, you're stagnating.
Why We Get the Meaning of Change Backwards
We usually focus on the "new" thing. We look at the destination. "Once I get that house, I’ll be happy." "Once the kids move out, I’ll travel." We treat change like a destination on a map.
That's a mistake.
The real meaning of change is found in the ending. You can’t start something new until you’ve properly finished the old thing. This is where most people trip up. They try to leapfrog over the grief of what they’re losing to get to the excitement of what they’re gaining. But you have to acknowledge the loss. Even a "good" change involves a loss of the familiar. If you don't mourn the person you used to be, you'll carry that ghost into your new life, and it’ll weigh you down like a wet coat.
Think about Heraclitus. He’s the Greek philosopher who said you can’t step into the same river twice. It’s a bit of a cliché now, but he was right. The water is moving, and you are moving. By the time you put your foot back in, the "you" who stepped in the first time is gone.
The Three Phases of Every Transition
William Bridges, who wrote the literal book on this (Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes), broke it down into three distinct stages. It’s not a clean 1-2-3 process, though. It’s more like a spiral.
- The Ending: This is the part everyone hates. It’s the letting go. It’s realizing that the way you used to do things—your identity, your relationships, your habits—doesn't work anymore. It’s the death of a version of yourself.
- The Neutral Zone: This is the "in-between." It’s the most important part of the meaning of change, yet it’s the part we try to rush through the fastest. It’s characterized by confusion, low energy, and a sense of being lost. But this is where the "new" is being cooked. You need this fallow period. Just like a field needs to sit empty for a season to regain its nutrients, you need to sit in the "nothingness" for a bit.
- The New Beginning: This isn't the start of the change; it’s the final stage. This is when the fog clears and you start to feel a new sense of purpose. It’s not just a new situation; it’s a new you in that situation.
Change vs. Transformation: There’s a Difference
We use these words interchangeably, but they aren't the same. Change is situational. You get a haircut. You buy a new car. You change your diet. These are external shifts.
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Transformation is internal. It’s what happens when the external change forces an internal shift in perspective. You can change your job ten times, but if you don't transform your relationship with work, you'll find the same problems at every office. The true meaning of change is often found in transformation—the deep, structural shift in how you see the world.
Look at the business world. Companies "change" their logos or their software all the time. But real change—the kind that saved companies like Lego or Apple from the brink of bankruptcy—was a transformation of their core philosophy. They didn't just change what they sold; they changed why they existed.
The Role of Choice and Agency
Does change happen to you, or because of you? Usually, it's both.
Psychologists talk about the "Locus of Control." People with an internal locus believe they drive their own bus. People with an external locus feel like they're being dragged behind it. Understanding the meaning of change requires moving toward an internal locus. Even when a change is forced upon you—a layoff, a health crisis—you still have agency in how you interpret it.
Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, wrote about this in Man’s Search for Meaning. He argued that while you can't always control your circumstances, you always have the freedom to choose your attitude. That choice is the ultimate meaning of change. It’s the difference between being a victim of circumstance and an architect of your own evolution.
Facing the Fear of the Unknown
Let's be real: change is scary because it's unpredictable. We like certainty. We like knowing that the sun will rise and our coffee will taste the same. Uncertainty feels like a threat to our survival.
But certainty is an illusion.
The most "stable" things in life can vanish in an instant. Real security doesn't come from things staying the same; it comes from your ability to adapt. This is what Nassim Taleb calls "Antifragility." Some things break under stress. Some things are robust and stay the same. But "antifragile" things actually get better when they're pushed.
To find the meaning of change in your own life, you have to become antifragile. You have to look at the chaos and say, "Okay, how can I use this to get stronger?" It’s not about "bouncing back" (resilience); it’s about "bouncing forward."
Cultural Perspectives on Flux
Western culture tends to view change as something to be managed or conquered. We have "change management" specialists and "pivot" strategies. We treat it like an enemy to be tamed.
Eastern philosophies often see it differently. In Taoism, change is the Tao—the way of nature. You don't fight the river; you flow with it. The I Ching, or the Book of Changes, is one of the oldest Chinese texts, and it's entirely dedicated to the idea that everything is in a constant state of flux.
In Buddhism, the concept of Anicca (impermanence) is central. The idea is that suffering comes from clinging to things that are destined to change. If you accept that nothing—not your body, not your feelings, not your bank account—is permanent, the meaning of change stops being a source of terror and becomes a source of liberation. You stop trying to hold back the tide and start learning how to surf.
The Misconception of "Going Back to Normal"
We saw this during the pandemic. Everyone wanted to get "back to normal." But "normal" was gone.
The belief that change is a temporary detour from a "static" life is a lie. Life is change. There is no "normal" to return to; there is only a "new normal" to create. When you're in the middle of a massive shift, stop looking in the rearview mirror. You aren't going that way.
Actionable Insights: How to Handle the Shift
If you’re currently in the middle of the whirlwind, here’s how to navigate the meaning of change without losing your mind.
Audit your endings. Sit down and ask yourself: what is actually over? Be specific. It’s not just "I left my job." It’s "I’m no longer the person who has a team to manage" or "I’m no longer the person who gets a paycheck every Friday." Acknowledge the specific losses so you can stop dragging them into your future.
Embrace the "Messy Middle." When you feel confused or unmotivated, don't panic. You aren't broken; you're in the Neutral Zone. Stop trying to force a "New Beginning" before you're ready. Give yourself permission to be "in-between."
Change the narrative. Instead of saying "this is happening to me," try saying "this is happening for me." It sounds like cheesy positive thinking, but it actually shifts your brain from "threat mode" to "discovery mode." What is this change trying to teach you? What old habits is it forcing you to break?
Small wins over big leaps. When everything is shifting, you need anchors. Pick one small thing you can control. Maybe it’s making your bed. Maybe it’s a 10-minute walk. These small consistencies act as a "secure base" for your brain while the rest of your world is in flux.
Find your "Transition Team." Don't do this alone. Talk to people who have been through similar shifts. Not the people who will tell you everything is fine, but the people who will sit with you in the mess.
Change isn't a problem to be solved. It’s a process to be lived. The meaning of change is simply the process of shedding an old skin that no longer fits. It’s uncomfortable, it’s itchy, and for a while, you’re going to feel very exposed. But that’s the only way to grow.
You can't control the wind, but you can definitely adjust your sails. Stop waiting for things to "settle down." Life doesn't settle down; it evolves. Your job isn't to stop the evolution, but to participate in it.
Your Next Steps
- Identify your current stage: Are you in an Ending, the Neutral Zone, or a New Beginning? Identifying where you are reduces the anxiety of the unknown.
- Name the loss: Write down three things you are "losing" because of this change. Acknowledge them.
- Find the "Antifragile" Angle: Ask yourself: "How could this change actually make me better/stronger/wiser in a year?"
- Simplify: For the next 48 hours, eliminate any unnecessary decisions. Conserve your mental energy for the transition itself.