Ever wake up and realize your life looks nothing like the one you planned? It’s a gut punch. That’s the exact nerve Kristin Harmel touches in The Life Intended. Most readers come to Harmel for her heavy-hitting historical fiction—the kind that makes you sob over WWII letters in a library—but this 2014 release is different. It’s contemporary. It’s messy. It’s about the "what ifs" that keep us up at 2:00 AM.
Honestly, the book is a bit of a polarizing ride. You’ve got Kate Waithman, a woman who lost her husband, Patrick, twelve years ago. She’s finally "moving on." She’s got a solid guy, Dan. They’re engaged. Life is fine. Then the dreams start.
The Weird Science of Grief in The Life Intended
Grief isn't linear. Science backs this up constantly. When Kate begins having vivid, "more real than reality" dreams of a life where Patrick never died, she isn't just hallucinating. She’s experiencing what psychologists often call "complicated grief" or a search for closure that didn't happen.
In these dreams, Kate has a daughter. She has a completely different career. It’s a parallel universe.
What makes The Life Intended stand out from your average beach read is how Harmel handles the "sliding doors" trope. It’s not just a fantasy. Kate is forced to look at her current, safe life and ask if she’s actually happy or just comfortable. Most of us choose comfort. It’s easier.
Why Kate’s Journey Isn't Just Chick-Lit
Some critics dismissed this book early on as sentimental fluff. They’re wrong. If you look at the thematic depth, Harmel is actually wrestling with the concept of destiny versus choice.
- Kate works with music therapy.
- She deals with hearing-impaired children.
- The narrative weaves in the idea that we "hear" what we want to hear in our lives.
Think about the sheer weight of that.
Kate’s connection to the children she helps—specifically a girl named Hannah—serves as the bridge between her dream world and her reality. It’s a clever narrative device. It grounds the supernatural elements of the dreams in something tangible and heart-wrenching.
What Most People Get Wrong About the Ending
People get frustrated. They want Kate to just choose the dream or choose the fiancé. But the real point of The Life Intended is that you can’t go back. You shouldn't.
I’ve talked to readers who found the "signs" Kate follows to be a bit too convenient. Sure, maybe. But if you’ve ever been in a period of deep transition, you know how your brain starts looking for patterns. It’s a survival mechanism. Harmel captures that desperation to find a "sign" that you’re doing the right thing.
The book suggests that our "intended" life isn't a single track. It’s a series of pivots.
Real-World Takeaways from Kate’s Story
If you’re reading this because you feel stuck, Kate’s story is basically a roadmap for uncomfortable growth. You can’t build a new house on top of a ruin without clearing the debris first.
- Acknowledge the ghost. Kate tried to bury Patrick for twelve years. It didn't work. You have to invite your past to sit at the table before you can tell it to leave.
- The "Good on Paper" Trap. Dan was a great guy. On paper, he was the perfect second chance. But "perfect" isn't a synonym for "right."
- Listen to the subconscious. Whether you believe in prophetic dreams or just Jungian psychology, your brain is usually trying to tell you something your ego is ignoring.
The Kristin Harmel Evolution
It’s fascinating to look at The Life Intended in the context of Harmel’s later mega-hits like The Book of Lost Names or The Winemaker’s Wife. You can see the seeds of her style here—the emotional intensity, the focus on female resilience, and the historical-lite touches.
She has this knack for making you feel like you’re failing at life right along with her characters, only to pull you both out of the trenches by the final chapter.
🔗 Read more: English to Japanese Translation Sentences: Why Your Dictionary Is Lying to You
It’s not a perfect book. Some of the dialogue feels a little too polished for a woman in the middle of a mental breakdown. Real grief is uglier. It’s snot-crying and forgetting to shower, which Kate does occasionally, but usually, she remains quite articulate.
Actionable Steps for Readers Feeling "Stuck"
If Kate’s story resonates with you, don't just close the book and go back to your "fine" life.
- Audit your "Shoulds": Write down three things you are doing right now only because you feel you should. Evaluate the cost of stopping them.
- Explore Music Therapy Concepts: Research how sound and vibration affect stress. Kate uses this to help kids, but it’s a valid tool for adult emotional regulation too.
- The 5-Year Vision: If you could wake up in a parallel life tomorrow, what’s the one thing that’s different? Is that thing actually achievable in this life?
The Life Intended reminds us that the path we're on isn't a life sentence. It’s just a path. You can always take the next exit.