Hollywood loves a spectacle. Usually, when two A-list stars get together, we’re treated to a three-day gala in a Tuscan villa, four dress changes, and a spread in Vogue. But the Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates wedding was the exact opposite. It was 1989. March 5th, specifically. While the rest of the industry was busy chasing flashbulbs, Kline and Cates slipped away to a private ceremony in New York City that was so low-key it basically set the blueprint for how to actually survive a marriage in the spotlight.
Honestly, it’s wild to think about now. In the late '80s, Phoebe Cates was the girl. Between Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins, she was the face on every teenager’s wall. Kevin Kline was the sophisticated Oscar winner from A Fish Called Wanda. On paper, the 16-year age gap and their different career trajectories should have made them tabloid fodder. Instead, they’ve stayed married for over 35 years.
How It All Started: A Failed Audition
You’ve probably heard the "met on set" story a thousand times, but that’s not really how it went down for these two. They actually met back in 1982. Phoebe was auditioning for the role of Chloe in The Big Chill. Kevin was already cast.
She didn't get the part. The role went to Meg Tilly.
But Kevin? He didn't forget her. He later said he thought she was "too happy" to be with him. He was this serious, classically trained Juilliard guy, and she was just… exuberant. It took another couple of years before they actually started dating in 1985. They didn't rush into anything. They lived their lives, worked on their crafts, and basically just existed as a couple in Manhattan rather than the fake bubble of Los Angeles.
✨ Don't miss: Bea Alonzo and Boyfriend Vincent Co: What Really Happened Behind the Scenes
The Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates Wedding: No Glitz, Just Vows
When March 5, 1989, rolled around, there was no red carpet. The Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates wedding was a strictly private affair. They didn't sell the photos. They didn't invite a "who's who" of people they barely knew just for the sake of the industry.
By keeping the ceremony in New York, they made a statement. They weren't "Hollywood" royalty; they were New Yorkers who happened to act.
Life After the "I Do"
Most people expected Phoebe to keep climbing that ladder. She was a massive star. But after the wedding and the birth of their first child, Owen, in 1991, things shifted.
- Phoebe chose family. She didn't "fail" out of the industry; she walked away. She wanted to be a present mom.
- Kevin kept working. He’s been open about how her sacrifice allowed him to keep his career going.
- They stayed in New York. Living on the Upper East Side kept them grounded. No paparazzi chasing them down Sunset Boulevard.
Their daughter, Greta, arrived in 1994. If you’re into indie music, you probably know her as the frontwoman of the band Frankie Cosmos. Their son Owen is an accomplished director and cartoonist. It’s a family of artists, but they aren't "celebrity kids" in the cringe-inducing way we see today. They grew up with parents who prioritized dinner together over award show after-parties.
🔗 Read more: What Really Happened With Dane Witherspoon: His Life and Passing Explained
Why We’re Still Talking About Them in 2026
You might wonder why a wedding from 1989 even warrants an article today. It’s because their marriage is an anomaly. In an era where "situationships" and 72-day marriages are the norm, Kline and Cates represent something sustainable.
They didn't try to be a "power couple." They were just a couple.
Phoebe eventually opened Blue Tree, a boutique on Madison Avenue. She trades in high-end gifts and quirky items now, not movie scripts. Kevin still acts when the right role comes along, but he’s never seemed thirsty for the spotlight.
Actionable Takeaways from Hollywood’s Longest Marriage
If you’re looking for the "secret sauce" here, it isn't a secret. It’s basically just being a normal human being.
💡 You might also like: Why Taylor Swift People Mag Covers Actually Define Her Career Eras
- Prioritize Privacy: They never felt the need to share every detail of their lives. That lack of external noise probably saved them.
- Support the Shift: When Phoebe wanted to stop acting, Kevin supported it. When Kevin needed to go on set, she held down the fort. It wasn't about "fairness" in a ledger; it was about the family unit.
- Geography Matters: Moving away from the epicenter of the industry (LA) allowed them to build a life that didn't revolve around the next big opening weekend.
The Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates wedding wasn't the end of a story; it was the start of a very quiet, very successful masterclass in how to live well. They proved that you can be famous without being "available" to the public 24/7.
To really understand why they work, you have to look at their public appearances. They look comfortable. They aren't performing for the cameras. They're just two people who decided a long time ago that they liked each other more than they liked the fame.
If you want to emulate their longevity, start by turning off the noise. Focus on the person next to you. Build a life that works for you, even if it doesn't make sense to the "industry" or your social circle. Sometimes, the best way to stay together is to simply stay away from the crowd.