Grief is a messy, jagged thing that most people try to talk around rather than walk through. But when you pick up the I'll See You Again book, you aren't just reading a memoir; you're stepping into the literal wreckage of a life that was perfect one second and destroyed the next. It’s been years since the headlines faded, but Jackie Hance’s account of losing her three daughters remains one of the most raw, uncomfortable, and necessary pieces of writing on loss ever published.
Honestly, it's hard to even type the premise without feeling a pit in your stomach.
In 2009, Diane Schuler drove the wrong way on the Taconic State Parkway. She had her son, her daughter, and her three nieces in the minivan. The nieces—Emma, Alyson, and Katie—were Jackie Hance’s only children. They didn't come home. The accident killed eight people in total. It was a national scandal, a forensic mystery, and a private apocalypse.
Jackie’s book doesn't focus on the toxicology reports or the "why" of Diane Schuler’s actions, though it touches on the haunting confusion of that day. Instead, it focuses on the "how." How do you wake up? How do you look at your husband? How do you not walk into the ocean and just stay there?
What the I'll See You Again Book Actually Tells Us About Survival
Most "tragedy memoirs" follow a predictable arc. There’s the happy before, the dark middle, and the "I found peace" ending. This book is different because Jackie Hance is almost brutally honest about the fact that peace isn't a destination you just reach and stay at. She describes the physical manifestations of grief—the way her body literally felt like it was breaking apart.
She doesn't sugarcoat the resentment. There were times she couldn't stand to see other people with their children. That’s a "taboo" emotion, right? We’re told we should be happy for others. But Jackie admits to the darkness. She admits to the moments where the anger at her sister-in-law, Diane, threatened to swallow her whole.
The writing, assisted by Janice Kaplan, feels like a long conversation over coffee where the other person eventually starts crying and you just have to sit there and listen. It's not "polished" in the way a ghostwritten celebrity book is. It feels frantic in parts, slow in others. Much like grief itself.
The Taconic Tragedy: Context You Need
To understand the weight of the I'll See You Again book, you have to remember the climate of 2009. The "Wrong Way Driver" story was everywhere. People were obsessed with whether Diane Schuler was a secret alcoholic or if she had a medical emergency.
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Jackie and her husband Warren were caught in the middle of a media circus while trying to identify their children’s bodies.
- The girls were only 8, 7, and 5 years old.
- The accident happened on a Sunday after a camping trip.
- The phone call Warren received from his daughter Emma—saying "Something is wrong with Aunt Diane"—is perhaps the most chilling detail in modern true-life literature.
When you read the book, those details aren't just "facts." They are ghosts that haunt every page. Jackie describes the nursery, the clothes, and the silence of a house that used to be loud. It’s a sensory overload of absence.
The Complicated Role of Warren Hance
We talk a lot about Jackie, but the I'll See You Again book spends a significant amount of time on the strain this put on her marriage. Most marriages don't survive the loss of a child. Losing three? The odds were astronomical.
Warren Hance is portrayed not as a stoic hero, but as a man trying to hold onto a wife who was essentially a ghost for several years. There’s a specific section where she discusses their different ways of mourning. He wanted to move; she wanted to stay. He wanted to do; she wanted to cease to exist.
They had to learn a new language to speak to each other. It wasn't about "getting over it." It was about acknowledging that they were now two entirely different people than the ones who got married.
The Appearance of Hope (and the Controversy of It)
Eventually, the book moves toward the birth of their fourth daughter, Kasey. This is where some readers get conflicted. Is Kasey a "replacement"? Jackie is very clear: No.
She writes about the guilt of being happy again. The "betrayal" of a smile. Kasey didn't fix the hole left by Emma, Alyson, and Katie. She just created a new space in a heart that had been shriveled up.
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If you're looking for a book that says "it all happens for a reason," this isn't it. Jackie Hance doesn't seem to believe there was a "reason" her girls died. She just believes that since she’s still here, she has to find a way to inhabit her own life.
Why This Book Matters in 2026
You might wonder why we’re still talking about a book published years ago. Honestly? Because our culture is still terrible at dealing with long-term mourning. We give people two weeks of bereavement leave and then expect them to be "back to normal."
The I'll See You Again book serves as a permanent record of the "after." It’s a resource for anyone who feels like they are "grieving wrong."
- It validates the anger.
- It validates the numbness.
- It proves that you can be broken and functional at the same time.
There are no easy answers here. Just a woman who survived the unsurvivable.
Common Misconceptions About the Story
People often confuse the book with the HBO documentary There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane. While they cover the same event, they have completely different souls. The documentary is a forensic look at the "why." The book is a spiritual look at the "now what?"
Jackie doesn't spend 300 pages litigating the toxicology report. She spends them litigating her own soul. She asks the questions that keep people up at night: Did they suffer? Do they know I love them? Can I ever forgive?
Navigating Your Own Path Through Loss
If you are reading this because you’ve lost someone, or because you’re trying to understand someone who has, the I'll See You Again book offers a few actionable "realities" rather than "tips."
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Accept the "Waves"
Grief isn't a staircase; it's an ocean. Some days the water is calm. Other days, a rogue wave (like a song or a smell) knocks you flat. Jackie’s narrative shows that this is normal even a decade later.
The Power of Memory Foundations
The Hances started the Hance Family Foundation and the "Beautiful Me" project. This wasn't just "charity." It was a way to keep the girls' names in the air. If you're struggling, finding a way to channel that person's essence into a tangible project can sometimes—not always, but sometimes—provide a tether to the world.
Boundaries are Mandatory
Jackie had to learn to say no. No to people who wanted her to "move on." No to people who made her feel guilty. Protecting your energy is a survival skill.
Seek Real Support
The book mentions the importance of people who can sit in the dark with you without trying to turn the lights on. Find those people. Avoid the "toxic positivity" crowd who tells you everything happens for a purpose.
The most profound takeaway from the I'll See You Again book is that survival is a choice you have to make every single morning. Sometimes you make it with a smile, and sometimes you make it with grit and tears. Both are okay. The girls’ legacy isn't just the tragedy on the Taconic; it's the fact that their mother is still standing, still loving, and still telling their story so the world doesn't forget their names.
To truly honor the themes of the book, consider looking into the Hance Family Foundation's work. They focus on self-esteem programs for girls, turning a legacy of loss into a tool for empowerment. It's a way to engage with the story that goes beyond just being a spectator of someone else's pain. Reading the book is the first step in understanding the depth of the tragedy, but supporting the mission is how you participate in the healing.