Ever feel like you're doing everything right but still hitting a ceiling? You’ve got the MBA. You’ve mastered the latest project management software. You can recite your company’s quarterly goals in your sleep. Yet, when the big promotions come around, your name isn't on the list.
It's frustrating. Honestly, it’s exhausting.
Mark Miller, a guy who spent decades climbing the ranks at Chick-fil-A—eventually becoming their VP of High-Performance Leadership—wrote a book called The Heart of Leadership to explain exactly why this happens. He suggests that we’ve been lied to about what actually makes a leader. We focus on the "what"—the skills—while completely ignoring the "who"—the character.
Miller basically argues that leadership is 10% skills and 90% character. Think about that for a second. If you're spending all your time sharpening that 10% while your "leadership heart" is neglected, you’re basically trying to win a marathon while running on one leg.
The Core Problem with Most Leadership Training
Most corporate training is a joke. They teach you how to give feedback, how to run a meeting, and how to read a P&L statement. Those are important, sure. But Miller’s book, written as a business fable, follows a character named Blake who learns that having "impeccable character" (being honest and dependable) isn't the same as having leadership character.
You can be a "good person" and a terrible leader.
The heart of leadership is about the internal compass that dictates how you see the world and the people in it. If your heart isn't right, your "leadership" will eventually feel like a manipulation tactic. People can smell a lack of authenticity from a mile away. You've probably worked for someone like that—someone who uses the "right" words but you just don't trust them.
The Five Traits That Actually Matter
Miller breaks this down into an acronym: HEART. It’s simple, maybe a bit cheesy, but it’s practical.
Hunger for Wisdom
This isn't just about reading books. It’s about a relentless, lifelong pursuit of understanding. Leaders don't think they have all the answers. They are the ones asking the most questions. If you stop learning, you stop leading. Period.Expect the Best
This is about optimism, but not the "toxic" kind. It’s about believing that a better future is possible and that you can help create it. Leaders see things as they could be, not just as they are. If you’re the person constantly pointing out why things won't work, you're not leading; you're just a critic.📖 Related: Philadelphia City Tax Refund: Why You’re Probably Leaving Money on the Table
Accept Responsibility
This one is the hardest for most people. When things go sideways, do you look in the mirror or out the window? Real leaders own the results, even when they aren't directly their fault. They take the blame and give away the credit.Respond with Courage
Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's taking action despite it. It means having the hard conversations you’ve been avoiding. It means making the unpopular decision because it’s the right one for the long term.Think Others First
This is the soul of servant leadership. It’s the shift from "How can I get ahead?" to "How can I help this person succeed?" It’s a total mental flip.
Why Character is the "Iceberg" of Success
Miller uses a great visual: the iceberg. The 10% above the water is your skill set. Everyone sees it. It’s what gets you the job. But the 90% below the water—the part that actually keeps the whole thing afloat or sinks the ship—is your character.
If you have great skills but a shallow character, you’re top-heavy. You’ll tip over the moment the water gets choppy.
We see this in the real world all the time. Think about the high-performing salesperson who gets promoted to manager and then destroys the team's morale in six months. They had the "skills" to sell, but they didn't have the "heart" to lead. They didn't know how to Think Others First or Accept Responsibility.
Moving Beyond the "Fable" into Reality
Look, reading a business fable is easy. Implementing it is a nightmare.
Changing your "heart" isn't a weekend project. It’s a series of choices you make every single Tuesday morning when you're tired and your team is annoying you.
It’s about deciding to be curious instead of right. It's about choosing to stay optimistic when the data looks bleak. It's about being the person who says, "That was my mistake," instead of "The market changed."
Mark Miller’s work is a wake-up call for the "over-skilled and under-characterized." If you want to be a leader people actually want to follow, you have to stop obsessing over your resume and start looking at your motives.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Your Leadership Heart
If you actually want to use this stuff, don't try to change everything at once. Pick one letter of the HEART acronym and focus on it for a month.
- For Hunger for Wisdom: Find one person in your organization who does something better than you and ask them for 20 minutes of their time. Just listen. Don't try to "contribute."
- For Think Others First: In every meeting this week, ask yourself: "What does a 'win' look like for the person across the table?"
- For Respond with Courage: Identify that one "elephant in the room" you've been ignoring and address it directly but kindly before Friday.
- For Accept Responsibility: The next time a project misses a deadline or a goal is missed, be the first to step up and say, "Here is what I could have done better to support the team."
Leadership is a choice. It’s not a title. It’s not a corner office. It’s about who you are becoming while you're doing the work. If you focus on the heart, the results usually take care of themselves.