You’re probably familiar with the feeling of being "too much." Too aggressive at work. Too passive in your relationships. Too restrictive with your diet until you eventually cave and eat an entire sleeve of cookies at midnight. Most of us spend our lives swinging like a frantic pendulum between extremes, wondering why we feel so burnt out. This is exactly where the doctrine of the mean comes in, and honestly, it’s not what you think. It isn't about being "average" or mediocre. It’s about finding the "goldilocks zone" of human behavior.
Aristotle called it mesotes. Confucius called it Zhongyong. Two guys on opposite sides of the planet, centuries apart, landed on the same radical idea: greatness isn't found at the edges. It’s found in the center.
People get this wrong all the time. They think the "mean" is a compromise. They think it’s a boring, lukewarm way to live. But the doctrine of the mean is actually incredibly demanding. It’s a precision game. It’s the difference between a master chef using just enough salt to make a dish sing and a novice dumping the whole shaker in because "more is better." It’s a high-wire act.
The Aristotle Angle: Virtue as a Mathematical Point
Aristotle laid this out in his Nicomachean Ethics. He argued that every virtue is basically a middle ground between two messy vices. Take courage. If you have too little, you’re a coward. You’re paralyzed. But if you have too much? You’re reckless. You’re the person who jumps into a freezing river to save a hat and ends up needing to be rescued yourself.
Courage is the "mean." It’s the sweet spot.
But here’s the kicker: the mean isn't the same for everyone. Aristotle was very clear about this. If you’re a trained firefighter, the "courageous" response to a burning building is different than if you’re a random passerby with zero equipment. The mean is relative to the individual and the situation. It’s a sliding scale. This makes it a nightmare for people who want easy, black-and-white rules for life, but it’s the only way to actually be a functional human being in a complex world.
The Math of the Soul
In the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle uses a food analogy that still works today. Think about an athlete’s diet. If ten pounds of food is too much and two pounds is too little, the coach doesn't necessarily prescribe six pounds. Six might still be too much for a gymnast but too little for a heavyweight boxer.
- Excess: The "Too Much" (Prodigality, Rashness, Irascibility)
- Deficiency: The "Too Little" (Meanness, Cowardice, Spiritlessness)
- The Mean: The "Just Right" (Generality, Courage, Gentleness)
It’s about hitting the mark. Aristotle compares it to archery. There are a million ways to miss the target, but only one way to hit the bullseye. That’s why being "bad" is easy and being "virtuous" is hard. You have to be precise.
Confucius and the "Unswerving Pivot"
While Aristotle was busy categorizing virtues in Greece, Confucius (and later his grandson Zisi) was developing the Zhongyong in China. It’s often translated as the "Doctrine of the Mean," but it carries a slightly different flavor. It’s less about a mathematical midpoint and more about "equilibrium."
The Zhongyong suggests that when our emotions—like joy, anger, or sorrow—haven't been stirred, we are in a state of equilibrium. When they are stirred but act in "due degree," that’s harmony.
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Basically, it’s about not letting your internal state get hijacked by the world. It’s the "unswerving pivot." If you’ve ever met someone who is totally unshakeable, even when everything is going wrong, you’ve seen the doctrine of the mean in action. They aren't cold or emotionless. They just have their "dial" set to the right frequency.
Why We Suck at This (The Extremity Trap)
Modern culture hates the doctrine of the mean. We are addicted to "extreme."
Extreme weight loss.
Extreme productivity.
Extreme political views.
We love the "all-in" narrative. We worship the CEO who sleeps three hours a night and the athlete who "doesn't know the meaning of the word quit."
But look at the data. Burnout is at an all-time high. Divorce rates are through the roof. Polarization is tearing communities apart. Why? Because we’ve abandoned the mean. We think that if a little bit of something is good, then a lot of it must be better. If "discipline" is good, then "punishing yourself" must be great.
It’s a lie.
The doctrine of the mean tells us that "discipline" becomes "cruelty" when it’s taken too far. "Self-care" becomes "sloth" when it has no boundaries. We are constantly vibrating between these two poles, and it’s exhausting.
The Career Middle Ground
Think about your job.
You have the "Ambition" slider.
If you set it to zero, you’re stagnant. You get passed over for promotions. You lose interest. You become a "quiet quitter" (to use a tired 2023 term).
If you set it to 100, you’re a workaholic. You have no life. You’re stressed, your cortisol is peaking, and you’re probably a nightmare to work with.
The doctrine of the mean suggests that the "virtuous" career path is somewhere in the 60-80 range. It’s where you’re engaged enough to grow, but grounded enough to remember that your job isn't your entire identity.
Real-World Examples: The Mean in Practice
How do you actually apply this? It’s not just philosophy for the sake of philosophy. It’s a toolkit for making better decisions.
Social Media Use: The "deficiency" is being a hermit who has no idea what’s happening in the world.
The "excess" is being glued to your phone for 9 hours a day, doomscrolling until your brain feels like mush.
The "mean" is intentional usage. You check in, you connect, you get your info, and then you put the device in a drawer.🔗 Read more: Human DNA Found in Hot Dogs: What Really Happened and Why You Shouldn’t Panic
Honesty: Too little honesty makes you a liar or a manipulator.
Too much honesty (without tact) makes you a "brutally honest" jerk who hurts people for no reason.
The mean is "truthfulness with kindness." It’s saying what needs to be said in a way that can actually be heard.Wealth: The deficiency is "meanness" or stinginess.
The excess is "prodigality" or wasting money on things you don't need to impress people you don't like.
The mean is "liberality." You spend on what matters, you save for the future, and you’re generous where it counts.
The Misconception: Is the Mean Just "Playing it Safe?"
People often argue that the doctrine of the mean prevents greatness. They say, "Elon Musk/Steve Jobs/Michael Jordan weren't 'moderate' people!"
And they’re right. They weren't.
But here’s the thing: those people are outliers. And often, their "excess" in one area (career/craft) led to a massive "deficiency" in others (family/mental health). The doctrine of the mean isn't necessarily about being "average" in every category; it’s about recognizing that there is a cost to every extreme.
If you want to be the best in the world at one specific thing, you might have to abandon the mean. But you should do it with your eyes open, knowing that you are moving toward a "vice" of excess that will eventually demand a price. For most of us—those who want a good life, a healthy body, and solid relationships—the mean is the only sustainable way to live.
Practical Steps to Find Your Center
You can’t just "be in the mean" overnight. It’s a practice. It’s like yoga or learning an instrument. You’re going to overcorrect. You’re going to wobble.
Audit Your Extremes
Look at your life right now. Where are you in the "excess" category? Are you over-working? Over-thinking? Over-eating? Now look at the "deficiency" side. Are you under-sleeping? Under-communicating? Under-valuing your own time?
Pick one area. Just one.
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If you’re in excess, try to pull back 10%. Don't try to go to zero. If you’re a workaholic, don't quit your job. Just stop checking email after 7:00 PM. That’s a move toward the mean.
Use the "Third Way" Framework
Whenever you’re faced with a conflict, we usually see two options: fight or flight. Aggression or submission.
The doctrine of the mean asks: "What is the third way?"
How can I be firm without being mean? How can I be flexible without being a doormat? This "third way" is almost always where the solution lies.
Check Your "Why"
Aristotle said that to be truly virtuous, you have to do the right thing for the right reason, at the right time, in the right way.
If you’re being "frugal" just because you’re terrified of losing money, that’s not the mean. That’s a deficiency (greed/fear).
The mean requires mindfulness. You have to understand your motivations.
The Doctrine of the Mean in 2026
As we move further into a world of AI-generated noise and extreme polarization, this ancient philosophy is becoming more relevant, not less. We are constantly being nudged toward the edges of our personalities by algorithms that profit from our outrage.
Choosing the "mean" is an act of rebellion.
It’s a refusal to be a caricature. It’s a commitment to being a nuanced, balanced human being. It’s not flashy. It won't get you a million views on TikTok. But it will get you a life that doesn't feel like it’s constantly about to snap under the pressure of its own weight.
Actionable Next Steps:
- Identify your "Lead Virtue": Pick one trait you want to improve (e.g., Courage, Patience, Thrift).
- Map the Extremes: Write down what "Too Much" and "Too Little" looks like for that trait in your specific life right now. Be honest.
- The 24-Hour Test: For the next day, before you respond to a stressful email or a difficult family member, ask yourself: "What would the middle ground look like here?"
- Course Correct: If you realize you’ve drifted into excess (like being too harsh with a coworker), don't spiral. Just make the next choice a move back toward the center.
Finding the mean is a lifelong journey. You’ll never "arrive," but the more you practice, the easier it becomes to find your footing when the world tries to push you to the edge.