History is messy. We like to think of the Great Emancipator sitting at a mahogany desk, dipping a quill, and pouring his soul onto parchment to comfort a grieving mother. It’s a beautiful image. It’s the scene from Saving Private Ryan that makes grown men weep. But the real story behind the Abraham Lincoln letter to Mrs Bixby is actually a tangled web of clerical errors, political propaganda, and a mystery that hasn't been solved in over 160 years.
Honestly, it’s kinda wild how much we’ve projected onto this one piece of paper.
In the autumn of 1864, the American Civil War was a meat grinder. The toll was unthinkable. Families weren't just losing a son; they were losing entire generations. When Adjutant General William Schouler informed Massachusetts Governor John Andrew about a widow named Lydia Bixby, who had supposedly lost five sons in the service of the Union, the political machinery started humming. This wasn't just a tragedy. It was a symbol.
What the Letter Actually Said
The text is short. Only 139 words. If you’ve never read it, or only heard Tom Hanks recite it, the prose is remarkably heavy. It doesn’t offer "thoughts and prayers." It talks about the "solemn pride" that must be hers to have "laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom."
Lincoln—or whoever wrote it—wasn't trying to make her feel better. That’s the thing people miss. He was acknowledging that there is no comfort for that kind of loss. He was placing her grief into a larger, almost religious context of national survival. It was a letter about duty. It was about the "republic they died to save."
The Bixby Scandal: Not Exactly a Gold Star Mother
Here is where the history gets uncomfortable. We want Lydia Bixby to be a saintly, stoic figure of American resilience. She wasn't.
Records from the era suggest she might have been a Southern sympathizer living in the North. Even worse, she may have run a house of ill repute in Boston. When she received the Abraham Lincoln letter to Mrs Bixby, she didn't frame it. She didn't cherish it. There are strong accounts from her own family suggesting she destroyed it shortly after receiving it. Why? Maybe she hated Lincoln. Maybe she was embarrassed. We don't know.
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And then there's the math. The "five sons" part? It was wrong.
- Charles Bixby: Killed at Fredericksburg.
- Henry Bixby: Claimed killed, but actually captured and later exchanged.
- Oliver Bixby: Killed at the Siege of Petersburg.
- George Bixby: Deserted. He likely fled to the enemy or escaped to Canada.
- Edward Bixby: Deserted.
Lincoln was writing to a woman he believed had lost five sons, but in reality, two were dead, one was a prisoner, and two were deserters. The War Department's paperwork was a disaster. But the letter was already out there. It was published in the Boston Evening Transcript on November 25, 1864, and the myth took on a life of its own.
Did Lincoln Even Write It?
This is the big one. The academic "fight of the century."
For decades, historians have debated whether Lincoln penned those words or if his private secretary, John Hay, was the actual author. It sounds like Lincoln. The cadence is there. But John Hay was a brilliant writer who could mimic Lincoln's voice better than anyone on earth.
In the late 20th century, researchers like Michael Burlingame started digging. They found that Hay had told several friends he actually wrote the Bixby letter. Then, computer scientists stepped in. They used "n-gram" analysis and stylometry—basically using algorithms to track word patterns and linguistic fingerprints.
The results? Most of those studies point toward John Hay.
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The use of the word "beguile" and the specific rhythmic structure of the sentences align more closely with Hay’s other writings than with Lincoln’s known correspondence. Does it matter? To some, it feels like a betrayal. To others, it shows the genius of Lincoln’s "team of rivals." If Hay wrote it, he did it because he knew exactly what the President needed to say to a fractured nation.
Why the Abraham Lincoln Letter to Mrs Bixby Still Matters
Even if the facts are shaky, the impact is real. The letter remains the gold standard for how a leader addresses the ultimate sacrifice.
It changed the way we talk about war. Before this, letters of condolence were often stiff, formal, or overly religious. The Bixby letter grounded the loss in the idea of the "Republic." It made the individual sacrifice part of the national identity. That’s why it was read at Ground Zero on the tenth anniversary of September 11.
The Missing Original
If you ever see the "original" Bixby letter in a museum or online, you’re looking at a fake. Or, more accurately, a facsimile.
The original manuscript has never been found. Because Lydia Bixby likely destroyed it, and because it was published in newspapers before the original vanished, we only have copies of copies. In the early 1900s, various forgers tried to sell "authentic" versions of the letter. They were all debunked.
The lack of an original only fuels the John Hay theory. If we could see the handwriting, we’d know. But we can’t.
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Lessons From the Bixby Letter
What can we take away from this? Honestly, it's a lesson in the power of words over facts.
- Intent vs. Reality: Lincoln intended to honor a mother's sacrifice. The fact that the details were wrong doesn't change the sincerity of the intent. In leadership, the gesture often carries more weight than the technical accuracy of the briefing.
- The Fragility of History: One of the most famous documents in American history might be a ghostwritten piece for a woman who didn't want it. History is what we choose to remember.
- The Art of the Short Form: You don't need 5,000 words to change a country. 139 words was enough to define the Civil War's emotional stakes.
Moving Forward with the History
If you want to understand the Abraham Lincoln letter to Mrs Bixby beyond the surface level, you have to look at the context of 1864. Lincoln was facing a brutal re-election. The country was exhausted. The letter served as a reminder of why the fight had to continue.
To really dig into this, I'd suggest looking into the work of Michael Burlingame, specifically his research on John Hay. You should also check out the archives of the Massachusetts Historical Society. They hold many of the original documents related to Governor Andrew and the Bixby family's correspondence with the state.
Don't just take the Saving Private Ryan version as gospel. The real story—with the deserters, the shady boarding house, and the possible ghostwriter—is actually much more human. It shows a President trying to find meaning in a sea of meaningless death.
Next Steps for Your Research:
- Compare the Bixby letter to Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Look for the shared vocabulary regarding "sacrifice" and "altar."
- Read John Hay’s personal letters from the 1860s. You’ll start to see the linguistic echoes that have convinced so many scholars he was the true author.
- Visit the Library of Congress digital archives to see the newspaper clippings from November 1864 to see how the public first encountered these words.
Understanding the letter requires accepting that it can be both a masterpiece of American prose and a historical muddle. Both things are true. That's the beauty of it.