If you’ve spent any time looking at red carpet photos from the last thirty years, you’ve probably noticed something weird about Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen. They actually look like they like each other. Not just "Hollywood brand" liking each other, but the kind of genuine, eye-crinkling joy that usually disappears after the honeymoon phase.
In a town where marriages often have the shelf life of a carton of milk, Ted Danson and wife Mary Steenburgen have become the gold standard for staying power. They’ve been married since 1995. That is basically a century in celebrity years. Honestly, it’s refreshing. But their "happily ever after" wasn't exactly a straight line. It was more like a long, winding road involving a very famous breakup, a stroke, and a canoe trip that changed everything.
The Meet-Cute That Didn’t Happen
Life is funny. Most people think they fell in love on a movie set and lived happily ever after immediately. Nope. They actually met way back in 1983. Ted was auditioning to play Mary’s husband in a movie called Cross Creek.
He didn't get the part.
Looking back, Ted calls that a "miracle." Why? Because he says he was a "hot mess" back then. He was in the thick of his Cheers fame, dealing with personal demons, and Mary was married to actor Malcolm McDowell. It wasn't their time. Sometimes the universe makes you wait until you've grown up a little.
Fast forward ten years to 1993. Both were newly single. Ted had just come off a very public, very controversial relationship with Whoopi Goldberg and a massive divorce from his second wife, Casey Coates. Mary was also divorced. They were both, in her words, "cynical about love." Then came the film Pontiac Moon.
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That One Canoe Trip
On the set of Pontiac Moon, they played a married couple. They were both determined to keep things professional. "We both had sworn off relationships," Mary told People in a recent 2026 interview looking back at their thirty-year milestone.
But then, during filming, they went on a five-hour canoe trip with friends.
There’s something about being stuck in a boat with someone that forces you to actually talk. By the time they hit land, the professional walls had crumbled. Ted says he was "smitten." Mary realized that the "infatuation" she thought was a myth was actually possible with the right person.
By February 1995, Ted was flying to Houston—where Mary was filming the sci-fi flick Powder—to propose on her birthday. They tied the knot on October 7, 1995, on Martha’s Vineyard. Even Bill and Hillary Clinton were there. But the celebrity guest list wasn't the highlight; it was the fact that they were merging two complicated lives into one.
The Blended Family Reality
Hollywood "blended families" often sound like a nightmare, but these two seemed to navigate it with actual grace. Between them, they have four children:
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- Kate and Alexis Danson (Ted’s daughters with Casey Coates)
- Lilly and Charlie McDowell (Mary’s children with Malcolm McDowell)
They didn't just shove everyone together and hope for the best. On their wedding day, Mary wore a gown with six violet flowers embroidered on the bodice. One for her, one for Ted, and one for each of the four kids. It was a visual promise that this wasn't just about two actors; it was about a whole new family unit.
It worked. Decades later, you’ll see the whole crew together at events, like when Mary got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame or when Charlie McDowell married actress Lily Collins in 2021. They’ve managed to keep the drama out of the headlines, which, let's be real, is the hardest job in show business.
Why They’re Still Giggling in 2026
So, what is the actual secret? Why are they still winning awards together, like the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award they received at the 77th Primetime Emmy Awards in late 2025?
It’s not just the meditation, though they’ve been doing that together since they got married. It’s the kindness. Mary recently mentioned that they don't really have "rules" for their marriage. Instead, they just try not to be apart for too long. When Mary had to film in Vancouver for eight days recently, she said they were "dying" to see each other.
They also work together. A lot. Most couples would lose their minds if they had to spend 24 hours a day with their spouse, but Ted and Mary seem to seek it out. From Gulliver’s Travels in the 90s to their recent reunion in Season 2 of Netflix’s A Man on the Inside, they genuinely enjoy each other’s professional company.
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Ted’s perspective is pretty simple: "I want as long as possible in my life with Mary." He’s 78 now, she’s 72, and they still wake up at 4:30 a.m. to start their day together.
What We Can Learn From the Danson-Steenburgen Playbook
If you’re looking for a takeaway from Ted Danson and wife Mary Steenburgen, it’s probably these three things:
- Timing is everything. You might meet "the one" when you’re both a mess. If it doesn't work then, it doesn't mean it won't work later when you've both done the work on yourselves.
- Kindness beats "rules." Focusing on making your partner’s life happy usually makes your own life better in the process.
- Don't stop being fans of each other. Whether it’s Ted supporting Mary’s music or Mary gushing over Ted’s comedic timing in The Good Place, they are each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
If you want to follow their lead, start small. Find a shared ritual—like that early morning coffee or a daily walk—and protect it fiercely. Their 30-year run proves that Hollywood endings don't have to be fictional; they just require a lot of mutual respect and a little bit of luck in a canoe.
Next, you might want to look into the specific ocean conservation work Ted and Mary do through Oceana, as their joint activism is often cited as the "glue" that keeps their shared values aligned.