If you only know Tam O’Shaughnessy as the "partner of Sally Ride," you’re basically missing the lead. Honestly, it's a common mistake. Most news cycles in 2012 focused on the shock of Sally Ride—America’s first woman in space—coming out posthumously in her obituary. It was a massive cultural moment. But while the world was busy processing the 27-year secret relationship, Tam was already decades into a career that had nothing to do with being anyone's "plus one."
Tam is a powerhouse. We’re talking about a former pro tennis player, a Ph.D. in school psychology, and a prolific science writer who has done more to keep girls in STEM than almost anyone else in the field.
The Tennis Pro You Didn’t Know
Most people don't realize Tam was actually ranked 52nd in the world for women's singles. She wasn't just "good at tennis"; she was elite. She played at Wimbledon. She grew up in the Southern California tennis scene of the 1960s, rubbing elbows with legends like Billie Jean King. In fact, she and Sally actually met on the tennis court when they were just 12 and 13 years old.
Think about that for a second.
They were two hyper-competitive kids standing in line at a tournament in Redlands. Sally was the quiet one who would suddenly lecture you for ten minutes on how to "whup" an opponent. Tam was the one who noticed Sally walked on her toes like a ballet dancer. That connection stayed. Even as Sally went to Stanford to become a physicist and Tam hit the pro tour, they stayed in each other's orbit.
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Writing the Script for Science Education
When Tam retired from tennis, she didn't just sit around. She got her B.S. and M.S. in biology and eventually a Ph.D. in school psychology. She became obsessed with how kids—specifically girls—learn.
Why do girls love science at age 10 but drop it by age 15?
Tam and Sally wanted to answer that. They didn't just talk about it; they started writing books. They co-authored six children's science books, like The Third Planet, which actually won the American Institute of Physics Children’s Science Writing Award. They were a team in every sense.
In 2001, they founded Sally Ride Science. The goal was simple but hard: make science "cool" and accessible. Tam served as the Chief Creative Officer and eventually the CEO. She was the one building the curricula and the "Cool Careers in STEM" programs. While Sally was the face of the mission, Tam was often the engine under the hood.
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The 27-Year Secret
The most nuanced part of Tam’s story is the "why" behind their privacy. You’ve got to remember the era. In the 80s and 90s, being an out gay woman in NASA or corporate America wasn't just a "personal choice"—it was a career killer.
Tam has spoken candidly about this in recent years, especially during the release of the 2025 National Geographic documentary SALLY. They weren't ashamed. They just knew that Sally Ride Science relied on corporate sponsorships. Back then, they feared that if the world knew the two women leading the company were a couple, the funding would vanish.
It was a heavy burden. They lived as domestic partners in La Jolla, California, for decades, known to friends and family but invisible to the public.
"Suddenly I wondered out loud, 'Who am I going to be to the people who don't know we were a couple?'" — Tam O’Shaughnessy, reflecting on the days before Sally’s death.
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What Tam is Doing Now
Today, Tam O'Shaughnessy is the Executive Director of Sally Ride Science at UC San Diego. She’s still at it. She isn't just a "keeper of the flame"; she’s actively pushing the needle on climate change education and gender equity.
She also serves on the advisory board for the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum. It’s a big deal. She’s making sure the history of space flight includes the messy, human, and diverse reality of the people who actually did the work.
Why Her Story Still Matters
Tam’s life teaches us a few things that are still incredibly relevant in 2026:
- The Power of Pivoting: She went from pro athlete to scientist to CEO. Your first career doesn't have to be your last.
- Legacy is Active: Keeping someone’s memory alive isn't about statues; it’s about continuing the work they started.
- Privacy is a Right: Even in an age of oversharing, Tam reminds us that people have the right to own their own narratives.
If you’re looking for ways to support the mission Tam and Sally started, you can actually look into the Sally Ride Science Academy at UC San Diego. They offer workshops for students and professional development for teachers. It's a great way to see how Tam’s vision for science education is actually playing out in real classrooms. You could also check out her 2015 biography, Sally Ride: A Photobiography of America's Pioneering Woman in Space, which gives the most intimate look available at their life together.
Honestly, Tam O’Shaughnessy is a reminder that the people standing "behind" famous figures are often just as interesting—and just as impactful—as the icons themselves.