Life is messy. You wake up, the coffee maker is broken, your car has a flat, and your boss just moved a deadline up by forty-eight hours. Most people crumble under that kind of Tuesday. They vent, they fume, or they just shut down. But then there are the people who just... deal with it. They don't have a breakdown. They don't scream at the tire iron. They just keep moving.
We call that "taking it in stride."
Honestly, the take things in stride meaning isn't just about being calm; it’s about a specific kind of emotional elasticity. It is the ability to deal with a setback or a surprise without letting it derail your entire day, or worse, your entire personality. It’s an idiom that comes from the world of horse racing and running, where a "stride" is a steady, rhythmic pace. If a runner hits a small obstacle but doesn't break their rhythm, they’ve taken it in stride. In real life, it means you’ve got enough internal balance that the world’s chaos doesn't knock you off your feet.
Where did the phrase actually come from?
It’s an old one. If you look back at how we used to talk about horses—before we all drove Toyotas—the "stride" was everything. A horse with a good stride was efficient and powerful. If that horse encountered a fence or a ditch and cleared it without changing its gait or losing speed, it was literally taking the obstacle in its stride.
By the late 1800s and early 1900s, writers started applying this to humans. We aren't jumping over literal hedges in the countryside anymore (usually), but we are jumping over metaphorical ones. Getting a "no" on a bank loan. Finding out your flight is canceled. Hearing a nasty rumor. When you take these things in stride, you aren't ignoring them. That's a common misconception. You see the problem. You acknowledge the problem. Then, you step over it and keep walking.
You’ve probably met someone who does this effortlessly. They are the person who laughs when the waiter spills soup on their lap. Not a fake, passive-aggressive laugh, but a genuine "it's just soup" kind of vibe. It's an enviable trait.
The psychology of the "stride"
Psychologists don't usually use the phrase "taking it in stride" in their peer-reviewed papers. Instead, they talk about cognitive flexibility and resilience.
Dr. George Bonanno, a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University, has spent decades studying how people handle trauma and loss. His research suggests that resilience isn't some rare, superhero trait. It’s actually quite common. Most people are "hard-wired" to recover from stress. But the difference between someone who takes things in stride and someone who falls apart often comes down to appraisal.
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Appraisal is basically how you talk to yourself about what’s happening.
- Person A: "The car won't start. My day is ruined. I'm going to be late, and I'll probably get fired. Why does this always happen to me?"
- Person B: "The car won't start. That’s annoying. I’ll call an Uber and deal with the mechanic later."
Person B has a much better take things in stride meaning etched into their brain. They see the event as an isolated incident, not a personal attack from the universe.
Is it just being "chill"?
Not really. "Chill" implies a lack of caring. Taking things in stride requires a lot of active mental work. You are making a conscious choice to prioritize your peace over your ego. It’s about realizing that your reaction to the problem is often more damaging than the problem itself.
Think about it. If you spend three hours being angry about a ten-minute delay, you’ve lost three hours and ten minutes. If you take it in stride, you only lose the ten minutes. The math is pretty simple, but the execution is hard.
Real-world examples of taking it in stride
We see this most clearly in high-stakes environments. Professional athletes are the masters of this. If a quarterback throws an interception in the first quarter, he can’t sit on the sidelines and cry about it. He has to go back out there three minutes later and act like it never happened. If he carries the weight of that mistake into the next play, he’ll throw another one.
In the business world, look at how founders handle failure. When Slack first started, it wasn't a messaging app. It was a tool built for a gaming company called Tiny Speck. The game failed. Most people would have just folded the tent and gone home. But the team took the failure in stride, realized the messaging tool they built was actually the valuable part, and pivoted. That’s a billion-dollar "stride."
Then there are the everyday heroes.
The parents.
The teachers.
If you’ve ever seen a kindergarten teacher handle a room full of kids when the power goes out and the snacks haven't arrived, you’ve seen the take things in stride meaning in its purest form. They don't panic. They turn it into a "camping adventure" in the dark. That is high-level emotional intelligence.
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Why some people struggle with it
Why can't we all just be that teacher?
Well, genetics plays a role, sure. Some people are born with a more sensitive nervous system. But a lot of it is learned behavior. If you grew up in a house where every small mistake was treated like a Category 5 hurricane, you’re probably going to react that way as an adult. You’ve been programmed to believe that "taking things in stride" is actually "being careless."
There’s also the "perfectionist trap." If you believe that your life should go exactly as planned, any deviation feels like a failure. To take things in stride, you have to accept that your plans are basically just suggestions you’ve made to the universe. The universe doesn't always agree with your suggestions.
How to actually get better at this
You can't just wake up tomorrow and decide to never be stressed again. It’s a muscle. You have to train it.
One way is to practice "micro-resilience." When something small goes wrong—like you drop a piece of toast or you hit a red light when you're already late—take a breath. Notice the urge to get angry. Feel it. Then, intentionally choose to let it go. It sounds "woo-woo," but it’s actually just basic neurological rewiring. You are teaching your brain that these small spikes in cortisol don't need to lead to a full-blown "fight or flight" response.
Another trick is the "Five-Year Rule." Ask yourself: "Will this matter in five years?"
- Spilled coffee? No.
- A rude comment from a stranger? No.
- A missed promotion? Maybe, but probably not as much as you think.
- The death of a loved one? Yes.
If it won't matter in five years, it doesn't deserve more than five minutes of your frustration. This perspective shift is the secret sauce to the take things in stride meaning.
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The limits of the stride
Let’s be real for a second. There are things you shouldn't take in stride.
Abuse.
Illegal activity.
Toxic work environments.
If someone is treating you poorly on a consistent basis, "taking it in stride" is just another word for "being a doormat." There is a massive difference between being resilient and being complicit in your own unhappiness. The trick is knowing which is which.
Taking things in stride is for the things you can't control—the weather, the traffic, the whims of others. It’s not for the things you can and should change. If the "obstacle" in your stride is actually a giant wall that shouldn't be there, stop walking and figure out how to tear it down.
Actionable steps to build your "stride" muscle
If you want to start living with a bit more grace and a lot less screaming at inanimate objects, try these specific tactics:
- Label the emotion immediately. When something goes sideways, say out loud or in your head, "I am feeling frustrated right now." For some reason, naming the feeling takes away some of its power. It moves the experience from the emotional part of your brain (the amygdala) to the rational part (the prefrontal cortex).
- The "And then what?" game. When you start to spiral, follow the thought to the end. "The car won't start. I'll be late. My boss will be annoyed. I'll have to stay thirty minutes late to finish my work. I'll get home a bit later than usual. I'll have a slightly shorter evening." Is that a disaster? No. It’s an inconvenience.
- Physical Reset. Your mind follows your body. If you feel yourself tensing up, drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Exhale deeply. You can't really "take things in stride" if your body is in a defensive crouch.
- Stop the "Why me?" narrative. Shift to "What now?" "Why me?" is a dead end. It leads to self-pity, which is the opposite of resilience. "What now?" is a path forward. It focuses on the next step.
Start small. The next time you lose your keys or get a "passive-aggressive" email, don't let it be the centerpiece of your day. Treat it like a small pebble in your shoe. Shake it out and keep walking.
Taking things in stride isn't about being perfect. It’s about being persistent. It’s about realizing that the road is going to be bumpy, and that’s okay. You’ve got good shocks. You can handle the ride.
Key Takeaways for Mastering Your Reaction
- Acknowledge, don't ignore. Understand that taking things in stride means processing the event, not pretending it didn't happen.
- Focus on the gait. Maintain your personal momentum regardless of external interruptions or minor failures.
- Prioritize your energy. Save your "big reactions" for big events. Don't waste your emotional budget on trivialities.
The next time a situation goes completely off the rails, try to see it as a training session. Every time you stay calm when you have every "right" to be angry, you are strengthening your character. That's the real power behind the take things in stride meaning. It's not just a phrase; it's a way to reclaim your time and your sanity from a world that is constantly trying to steal both.