Kate T. Parker didn’t set out to start a global movement. She was just a mom in Atlanta with a camera and two daughters who were, frankly, a bit of a mess. Her girls weren't the "sit still and look sweet" types. They were sweaty. They had dirt under their fingernails. They were fierce on the soccer field and loud in the backyard.
When Kate looked at her photos, she realized the best ones weren't the posed portraits. They were the ones where her daughters looked strong.
That’s how strong is the new pretty was born. It started as a personal photo project and exploded into a New York Times bestseller that basically redefined what it means to be a "beautiful" girl in the 2020s. Honestly, it was about time. For decades, the media shoved a very specific, very polished version of girlhood down our throats. You know the one: perfectly brushed hair, pink tutus, and a quiet smile.
Parker’s work flipped the script. It told girls that their value isn't found in how they look, but in what they can do.
The Power of Being "Authentically Gross"
There’s this one photo in the book of a girl named Ella right before her first triathlon. She’s nine. She isn't smiling for the camera. She looks focused, slightly intense, and totally unconcerned with whether her hair is frizzy.
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That’s the core of the strong is the new pretty philosophy. It’s not just about physical strength or being a "tomboy," though athleticism is a big part of it. It’s about the strength of character. It’s about being:
- Wild enough to climb the highest tree.
- Stubborn enough to finish a 500-piece puzzle alone.
- Creative enough to paint a mural on the garage floor.
- Fearless enough to fail and try again.
Parker famously said she wanted to celebrate girls "just as they are—loud, athletic, fearless, messy, joyous, frustrated." Because, let’s be real, real life is messy.
Why we need this right now
A 2022 Dove Self-Esteem Project report found that 1 in 2 girls say toxic beauty advice on social media causes low self-esteem. That is a staggering number. By the time girls hit puberty, that "badass" confidence Parker sees in younger kids often starts to evaporate. They start looking at screens instead of looking at their own potential.
The strong is the new pretty movement acts as a shield against that. It gives parents and educators a different vocabulary. Instead of saying "You look so pretty today," we’re learning to say "You were so brave when you spoke up in class" or "I love how hard you worked on that kick."
Is "Strong" Just Another Label?
Now, I've seen some pushback on this, and it’s worth talking about. Some critics argue that swapping "pretty" for "strong" just replaces one pressure with another. Like, now girls have to be athletes or "boss babes" to be worthy?
Relevant Magazine once pointed out that reducing femininity to any one word—even a "good" one like strong—can be limiting. What if a girl is sensitive? What if she’s quiet or struggling with a disability?
Kate Parker addressed this as her project grew. She realized her early photos were mostly of sporty kids because that was her world. For the book, she branched out. She photographed girls fighting cancer, girls who were pilots, and girls who just loved to read.
Strength isn't just a bicep curl. It’s the resilience of a 12-year-old named Grace who lost part of her leg to cancer but says, "Being happy is my superpower." It’s the grit of a 16-year-old pilot named Aris. Strength is a spectrum.
Practical Ways to Bring This Home
You don't need to be a professional photographer to adopt the strong is the new pretty mindset. It's mostly about changing the "gaze" we have on the kids in our lives.
- Stop the "Cheese": When taking photos of your kids, don't ask them to smile. Capture them while they’re doing something they love. Even if they’re making a "concentration face" or have mud on their knees. Those are the photos you'll actually treasure in twenty years.
- Watch Your Words: Try the "70/30 rule." Try to make 70% of your compliments about their effort, kindness, or skills, and only 30% about their appearance. It’s hard! We’re programmed to say "You look so cute!" But try "You look so powerful in that jersey" instead.
- Celebrate the "Ugly" Moments: If they fall and get a scrape, or if they fail a test they studied for, talk about the strength it takes to get back up. That’s where the real "pretty" happens.
What Most People Get Wrong
People think this movement is "anti-feminine." It’s not. If a girl loves pink and glitter and ballet, that’s great. The point is that those things shouldn't be the requirement for being seen as valuable.
A girl in a tutu who can also lead a science project? That’s strong is the new pretty.
A girl who hates dresses but knows exactly how to fix a bike? That’s it, too.
It’s about autonomy. It’s about letting girls own their bodies and their identities before the world tries to edit them.
Actionable Next Steps
- Audit your social media: Unfollow accounts that promote "perfect" imagery and follow creators who highlight real-life achievements and diversity.
- Start a "Strength Journal": If you have a daughter or mentee, use a notebook to jot down one "strong" thing you saw them do each week. Give it to them when they’re having a rough day.
- Check out the source: Take a look at Kate T. Parker’s original book or her "Guided Journal" to see the specific stories of the 175+ girls she featured. It’s a great conversation starter for dinner time.
The goal isn't to be perfect. It's to be yourself. Because honestly, being 100% yourself is the strongest thing you can do.