You’re staring at the screen. The word "having" is everywhere. It’s in your emails, your essays, and your Slack messages. It’s the ultimate linguistic crutch. Most people don't even notice they're doing it until their prose starts to feel like a repetitive drumbeat of "having a drink," "having a meeting," and "having an idea." Honestly, it’s boring.
We use "have" as a catch-all because it’s easy. It’s the Swiss Army knife of verbs. But if you want to sound like you actually know what you’re talking about, you need to swap it out for something with more teeth. Using other words for having isn't just about being fancy with a thesaurus; it’s about clarity. When you say you're "having" a problem, are you experiencing it, enduring it, or tackling it? Each of those choices tells a completely different story.
Language is weird. We get stuck in patterns. But breaking the "have" habit is the fastest way to make your writing feel more human and less like an AI-generated template.
The Problem With "Possession"
When we talk about owning stuff, "have" is the default. "I have a car." "She has a house." It's fine. It's functional. But it lacks soul.
If you’re talking about a business context, you don't just "have" assets. You possess them. Or better yet, you maintain them. If you’re a developer, you don't "have" a codebase; you steward it. See the difference? Stewardship implies responsibility and care. Possession implies a static state.
Think about the way a collector talks. They don't just "have" rare stamps. They house a collection. They curate it. They hold items of value. Even the word retain works better when you're talking about keeping something you already earned. If a company keeps its employees, it doesn't just "have" them—it retains talent.
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Experience vs. Existence
This is where it gets tricky. We use "having" to describe things that are happening to us. "I'm having a bad day." That’s passive. It sounds like the day is just falling on you like rain.
Try undergoing. "I'm undergoing a rough patch." It sounds more active, like you’re moving through a process. Or how about encountering? If you're "having" a technical issue, you're actually encountering a bug. This shift in vocabulary changes the perspective from a victim of circumstance to an active participant.
- If it's a feeling, you're harboring it (like a secret) or nurturing it (like a dream).
- If it's a physical sensation, you're sensing or perceiving it.
- If it's a social event, you're hosting, attending, or partaking in it.
Stop "having" lunch. Consume it. Relish it. Savor it. Or just eat it. Even the simplest replacement is better than the "have" vacuum.
Why Your Brain Prefers the Lazy Route
Cognitive load is real. Your brain wants to expend the least amount of energy possible. This is why "have" and "get" are the kings of the English language. They are low-energy words. According to linguist Geoffrey Pullum, co-author of The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language, these light verbs carry very little semantic weight on their own. They rely on the words around them to do the heavy lifting.
But here's the catch: when you use light verbs, the reader's brain has to work harder to visualize what's actually happening. If you tell me you're "having a conversation," I see two people talking. If you tell me you're disputing a point, I see a specific, high-stakes interaction. Precision reduces the mental tax on your audience.
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Professional Upgrades for Business Communication
In an office, "having" is the kiss of death for authority. It sounds tentative.
Instead of "having a meeting," try convening a session.
Instead of "having an objective," you pursue a goal.
Instead of "having an effect," you exert influence.
Check out how these swaps change the vibe:
"We are having a 10% increase in sales" vs. "We are realizing a 10% gain."
"He has a lot of experience" vs. "He commands extensive expertise."
The second version sounds like someone you’d actually hire. The first sounds like a status report from a middle manager who’s halfway through a ham sandwich.
Common Swaps You Can Use Today
- Obtain / Acquire: Use these when you’ve worked for something. You don't "have" a degree; you attained it.
- Feature / Boast: Use these for descriptions. The phone doesn't "have" a good camera; it features a 48MP sensor.
- Comprise / Consist of: Use these for parts of a whole. The team doesn't "have" five people; it consists of five specialists.
- Exercise: Use this for rights or powers. You don't "have" the right to remain silent; you exercise that right.
The Nuance of Necessity
Sometimes, "have" implies you must do something. "I have to go."
That’s boring.
Try obliged. Or compelled. Or even duty-bound if you want to be dramatic.
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If you're talking about a requirement, use mandate. "The contract mandates a 30-day notice." That sounds a lot more official than "The contract says you have to give 30 days."
Context is Everything
Look, I’m not saying you should never use the word "have" again. That would be insane. It’s one of the most common words for a reason. But if you’re writing a blog post, a cover letter, or a novel, "having" is often a placeholder for a better, more descriptive verb that you just haven't thought of yet.
Think about the difference between containing and incorporating. A box contains junk. A design incorporates feedback. One is accidental; the other is intentional.
Actionable Steps to Purge the "Have" Habit
If you want to actually improve your writing, you can't just memorize a list. You need a system.
- The Search and Destroy Mission: Open your last important document. Hit
Ctrl+F(orCmd+F) and search for "hav". This will catch have, having, and had. - The "Three-Way" Test: For every instance you find, try to think of three more specific verbs. If you wrote "having a doubt," your three might be: harboring, wrestling with, or nurturing. Pick the one that fits the mood.
- Read Out Loud: Your ear is better at catching repetitive "h" sounds than your eyes are. If you hear "have... have... had... having," it’s time to edit.
- Focus on the Result: Instead of saying what you "have," describe what you are doing with it. Instead of "I have the data," try "I've compiled the figures."
- Watch the "Got" Trap: Usually, when people try to stop using "have," they fall into using "got." "I've got a problem." This is worse. Avoid it. Use face, confront, or address.
Stop settling for the easiest word in the drawer. Your writing is a reflection of your thinking. If your words are vague, people will assume your ideas are vague, too. Be precise. Be intentional. And for heaven's sake, stop "having" things and start possessing, experiencing, and commanding them instead.