You're standing in front of two open doors. The Narrator tells you to go left. You go right. Why? Because you're a rebel, or maybe you just want that sweet, sweet dopamine hit from a notification popping up in the corner of your screen. But here’s the thing: Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe achievements aren't like the ones in Call of Duty or God of War. They aren't about skill. They’re barely about playing the game. Honestly, half of them feel like the developers are actively making fun of you for being an achievement hunter.
If you’ve spent any time in Stanley’s office lately, you know the vibe. It’s meta. It’s weird. It’s frustratingly brilliant. Some of these trophies require you to literally do nothing for a decade, while others demand you click on a random door until the Narrator gets annoyed. It’s a trip.
The Achievements Everyone Gets Wrong
Most people jump into Ultra Deluxe thinking they can just 100% it in a weekend. Good luck with that. Unless you're willing to mess with your system clock or wait until 2032, you’re going to be staring at an incomplete list for a long time.
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Take the Super Go Outside achievement. In the original game, it was five years. Now? Ten. Ten years of not touching the game. If you played it on launch day in 2022, you still have about six years to go. Of course, most players just "time travel." You close the game, go into your PC or console settings, and manually crank the year forward to 2036. It works, but the Narrator would definitely have something snarky to say about your lack of integrity.
Then there’s Commitment. This one is a nightmare. You have to play the game for the entire duration of a Tuesday. That’s 24 hours. Straight. Or is it?
Actually, the "Ultra Deluxe" version is a bit kinder. It’s cumulative now. You don't have to leave your PS5 running and pray it doesn't melt on a single Tuesday. You can play for five hours one Tuesday, three the next, and eventually, it pops. But seriously, who has that kind of patience? Most people just set their clock to 11:59 PM on a Monday, leave the game running in Stanley's office, and go to bed. Just make sure your "rest mode" is turned off, or you'll wake up to a sleeping console and a lot of wasted time.
How to Actually Get the Test Trophy
The Test achievement please ignore is the one that really messes with people. In the first game, it was basically a placeholder you couldn't get without cheating. In Ultra Deluxe, it's a whole ordeal involving the "New Content" path.
First, you need to play enough endings—usually about three or four—until a door labeled New Content appears in the hallway before the two-door room. Go through it. Eventually, you’ll reach the "Stanley Parable 2" Expo. You’ll see a machine for a "Free Achievement." You pull the lever. Nothing happens. Typical.
To actually get it:
- Finish the "New Content" and "Sequel" endings.
- Find all six hidden Stanley figurines (the Mini-Stans). They're scattered in places like the executive bathroom and under the stairs.
- Complete the Epilogue. You’ll find this in the main menu after you’ve done the figurine quest and restarted the game a few times.
- Once the Epilogue is done, go back to the New Content door, head to the Expo, and pull that lever again.
It’s a lot of work for a trophy that literally tells you to ignore it. But that’s the joke.
The Weird Ones You Might Miss
Some of these are just silly. 8888888888888888 requires you to go into the Boss’s office and spam the number 8 on the keypad. Not once. Not twice. You just keep hitting it until the Narrator starts losing his mind and the achievement triggers. It’s simple, but if you’re following the "intended" path, you’d never think to do it.
And don't forget You can't jump. You literally just try to jump. Since there's no jump button (unless you're in the Jump Circle, which is its own thing), you just mash the spacebar or your controller's "A" or "Cross" button until the game acknowledges your pathetic attempt at verticality.
Settings World Champion: The Menu Grind
This one is tedious but strangely satisfying. You have to open the settings menu and toggle every single option. Every slider, every checkbox, every dropdown. You have to move the FOV slider to every possible number. You have to turn subtitles on and then off.
It feels like busywork because it is busywork. Crows Crows Crows (the devs) knew exactly what they were doing here. They’re mocking the completionist mindset by making the "gameplay" happen inside a boring menu.
Actionable Tips for Completionists
If you're actually going for the platinum or the 100% ribbon, here is the most efficient way to handle the "unreasonable" ones:
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- For Speed Run: Don't try this on your first few runs. Wait until the Narrator starts opening the secret door in the boss's office automatically. Also, you can skip the elevator ride by jumping onto the railing if you're fast enough. The goal is to finish the Freedom Ending in under 4 minutes and 22 seconds.
- For Door 430: This isn't just clicking the door five times. It’s a scavenger hunt. You click it, then the Narrator sends you to click other doors (like 417 and 437), then back to 430. Just follow his instructions exactly, even when he sounds like he's trolling you.
- For Settings World Champion: Use a controller for the sliders if you're on PC. It’s often easier to "tick" through the individual values than using a mouse.
Basically, the Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe achievements are a test of how much nonsense you're willing to put up with for a digital badge. They aren't hard; they just require a specific kind of madness. If you want to finish the list, you’ve got to stop thinking like a player and start thinking like Stanley. Or better yet, start thinking like the person who wants to annoy the Narrator as much as humanly possible.
Go ahead. Set your clock to 2036. We won't tell.
Check your progress in the "Stats" page in the menu frequently. It’s the only place where the game actually tracks your "Tuesday" hours for the Commitment achievement, so you'll know exactly how much more idling you need to do before you can finally put Stanley to rest.