Imagine being stuck. Truly stuck. For Napoleon Bonaparte, the Island of St Helena wasn't a getaway; it was a prison sentence in the middle of a vast, churning nothingness. It’s one of the most remote inhabited places on the planet, a volcanic rock jutting out of the South Atlantic, thousands of miles from the nearest coastline. People talk about "getting away from it all," but St Helena is where "all" literally ceases to exist. Honestly, until 2017, the only way to get there was a five-day boat ride from Cape Town on the RMS St Helena. Five days. Just to see a rock.
But things changed. The airport opened. Sorta.
Actually, the "world's most useless airport" tag stuck for a while because wind shear made landing a nightmare. Now, you can fly in from Johannesburg, but this isn't your typical Caribbean resort experience. There are no golden arches. No Starbucks. No high-speed fiber optic cables snaking into every bedroom—at least not until very recently with the Google Equiano cable. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone’s business, and the "Saints" (as locals are called) still wave at every passing car.
The Napoleon Myth and the Cold Reality of Longwood
If you know one thing about the Island of St Helena, it’s probably that Napoleon died there. Most history books make it sound like he spent his final years staring wistfully at the ocean from a rocky cliff. The reality was much grittier. He lived at Longwood House, a damp, wind-whipped bungalow that was basically a converted cowshed. It was moldy. It was infested with rats.
Napoleon hated it.
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He spent his time gardening, dictating his memoirs, and arguing with the British Governor, Hudson Lowe, who was—by all accounts—an incredibly petty man. Lowe was obsessed with the idea that Napoleon would escape, even though the nearest land was 1,200 miles away. There’s a persistent conspiracy theory that the French Emperor was poisoned with arsenic by the British. However, most modern forensic pathologists, including those who examined his hair samples, suggest he likely died of stomach cancer, exacerbated by the miserable conditions of his confinement. You can still visit Longwood today. It’s owned by the French government—a weird little slice of France in the middle of a British Overseas Territory.
It’s Not Just a Rock: The Weird Biodiversity of the Peaks
Most people expect a desert. Or maybe just a grey pile of volcanic ash. But if you hike up to Diana’s Peak, the highest point on the island, you’re suddenly in a cloud forest. It’s lush. It’s dripping with moisture. It feels like a different planet.
St Helena is home to over 500 species that exist nowhere else on Earth. Not just "rare" species, but "if they die here, they are gone forever" species. The Spiky Yellow Woodlouse is a fan favorite among biologists, mostly because it looks like a tiny, neon-colored alien. Then there’s the Wirebird, the island’s only surviving endemic land bird. It’s a type of plover that runs across the "Deadwood" plains. If you’re a birder, this is your Mecca.
The island's isolation acted as an evolutionary laboratory, much like the Galapagos. But because it's so small, the ecosystem is incredibly fragile. Invasive species—goats, rats, and weirdly enough, "gorse" bushes—have decimated the original forests over the centuries. Local conservationists are working like crazy to replant the endemic "cabbage trees," which, despite the name, are actually part of the daisy family. Nature is weird.
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Why Jonathan the Tortoise is the Real Celebrity
Forget Napoleon. The real star of the Island of St Helena is Jonathan. He’s a Seychelles giant tortoise and, according to Guinness World Records, the oldest living land animal in the world. He arrived on the island in 1882 as a gift. At the time, he was already roughly 50 years old.
He’s seen it all.
- The invention of the lightbulb.
- Two World Wars.
- The rise and fall of the Soviet Union.
- The birth of the internet.
Jonathan lives on the lawn of Plantation House, the Governor’s residence. He’s blind and has no sense of smell, but his hearing is sharp, and he still has a very active libido, often seen "hanging out" with his fellow tortoises, Emma and Fred. When you stand next to Jonathan, you aren't just looking at an animal; you're looking at a living bridge to the 19th century. It puts your daily stresses into perspective.
The Logistics of Actually Getting There
You can't just "pop over" to St Helena. Airlink operates flights from Johannesburg (JNB), usually once a week. Because of the weather, flights are frequently delayed or cancelled. If you go, you need to be okay with the possibility of being "marooned" for an extra few days. Honestly, that’s part of the charm.
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- Money: They use the St Helena Pound, which is pegged 1:1 with the British Pound Sterling. You can use UK notes there, but you can’t use St Helena notes back in London.
- Driving: It’s on the left. The roads are terrifyingly narrow and wind around cliffs with no guardrails. It’s common courtesy to beep your horn before going around a blind bend.
- Internet: Historically, it was some of the most expensive and slowest internet on earth. The subsea cable has improved things, but don't expect to sit in a cafe and stream 4K video all day without a hefty bill.
The Stairs That Will Break Your Legs
If you visit the capital, Jamestown, you’ll see a giant ladder carved into the side of the mountain. That’s Jacob’s Ladder. It’s 699 steps. It was originally built as an inclined plane to haul goods up to the fort at the top, but now it’s basically a fitness test for tourists and locals.
If you manage to climb it without stopping, you’re a legend. Most people end up with "Ladder Leg," a specific type of muscle tremor that makes your calves feel like jelly for three days afterward. The view from the top is worth the agony, though. You look down over the colorful Georgian houses of Jamestown, wedged into a narrow volcanic valley, and you realize how precarious life is on this little outcrop.
What People Get Wrong About the Island's Future
There’s this idea that the airport would "ruin" St Helena. That it would turn into a mini-Majorca. That hasn't happened. The "green rush" of tourism has been more of a trickle. This is actually a good thing for the traveler who wants something authentic. You aren't a "tourist" here; you're a guest.
The economy is still heavily dependent on UK subsidies, but they are trying to branch out. They export coffee—Tunn’s Coffee, specifically—which is some of the most expensive and sought-after in the world. Why? Because the plants are pure Green Tipped Bourbon Arabica, brought there from Yemen in the 1700s. Since the island is so isolated, the plants haven't cross-bred. It’s a time capsule in a cup.
Actionable Insights for the Aspiring Traveler
If you’re actually planning to visit the Island of St Helena, don't just wing it. You need a plan.
- Book your flight months in advance. There is only one plane a week (usually). If it fills up, you're waiting.
- Get comprehensive travel insurance. Make sure it covers medical evacuation. If you have a serious accident, the local hospital is great, but "serious" often means a flight back to South Africa.
- Bring cash. While some places take cards, the island still runs on physical currency. There are no ATMs in the traditional sense; you have to go to the Bank of St Helena in Jamestown during business hours.
- Hire a local guide. People like Aaron Legg or Basil George know every inch of the trails. You’ll learn more in two hours with them than you will in two weeks of reading Wikipedia.
- Pack for four seasons. In one afternoon, you’ll experience scorching sun in Jamestown and freezing mist at the Peaks.
St Helena isn't a "luxury" destination in the sense of infinity pools and marble floors. It’s luxury in the sense of silence. It’s one of the few places left where the stars are actually bright because there’s zero light pollution for a thousand miles. It’s a place that forces you to slow down, mostly because you have no choice. Whether you’re there for the history, the weird bugs, or just to say you reached the most isolated spot in the Atlantic, it’s a trip that changes your internal clock. Just watch out for the "Ladder Leg."