If you’ve spent any time wandering the virtual streets of South Park, you know the game doesn't exactly play by the rules of polite society. But even by the standards of a game where you fight giant "taco bell" secretions and gnome-sized underpants thieves, the Stick of Truth woodland critters are on a whole different level of weird. They’re cute. They’re cuddly. They also happen to be blood-sacrificing disciples of the antichrist. Honestly, if you aren't prepared for the tonal whiplash of finding a group of adorable animals chanting "Hail Satan" in the middle of a snowy forest, you’re in for a shock.
Most players stumble upon them by accident. You’re just trying to complete the "Gain New Allies" questline late in the game, wandering through the Lost Forest, and suddenly you’re staring at Beary, Wolfie, and the rest of the gang. It’s one of those moments that reminds you why Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s brand of humor works so well in a turn-based RPG format. It isn't just a gag; it’s a mechanical hurdle that requires you to know exactly where you’re going, or you'll just end up looping through the woods forever like a lost kid in a low-budget horror movie.
Finding the Stick of Truth Woodland Critters Without Losing Your Mind
Navigating the Lost Forest is a nightmare. Truly. If you don't have the specific directions, the game just keeps spitting you back out at the entrance, mocking your lack of directional sense. To find the Stick of Truth woodland critters, you have to follow a very specific path that feels like an old-school NES secret. From the entrance of the forest, you need to go Right, then Up, then Right again, then Down, and finally Right one last time.
Do it wrong once? You start over.
Once you arrive at the clearing, the atmosphere shifts. The music gets a bit more "Christmas Special" but with an underlying sense of dread. There they are. Twelve of them. They want you to help them find a "host" for their Lord. It’s dark. It’s ridiculous. But from a gameplay perspective, it’s one of the most powerful alliances you can forge in the entire game. If you’re going for a completionist run or playing on "Hardcore" difficulty, you basically need these guys in your corner for the final stretch.
Why the Critters are the Best Allies You Probably Missed
A lot of people think the critters are just a side joke. They aren't. Accepting the quest "Find the Unborn Host" leads you on a bizarre errand to the abortion clinic—standard South Park stuff—but the payoff is a "Summon" ability that is arguably the most devastating in the game.
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When you use the woodland critters summon, the "cute" animals descend upon your enemies and perform... well, let's just say a very violent ritual. It deals massive damage to all enemies on screen and applies multiple status effects. In a game where stacking "Gross Out," "Bleeding," and "Burning" is the key to winning boss fights quickly, these animals are a tactical nuke.
The Requirements for the "Friends in Strange Places" Achievement
If you're hunting for trophies or achievements, the Stick of Truth woodland critters are mandatory. You have to "friend" them on the in-game social media platform, Facebook. To do this, you have to talk to them after you've completed their specific task.
Here is the thing though: you must have the "Nagasaki" fart move learned to finish their questline properly, as it allows you to break certain obstacles. If you haven't progressed far enough in the main story to have visited Canada and learned the high-tier farts from the Terrance and Phillip questline, you can't actually finish the critters' request. It’s a late-game reward for a reason.
The game rewards exploration, but it also punishes the unprepared. If you go into the woods too early, you're just wasting time. Wait until the third day. By then, you’ve got the tools, the farts, and the general lack of moral compass required to help a group of deer and squirrels bring about the end of days.
The Lore Behind the Blood Orgy
For those who aren't deep into the show's history, the Stick of Truth woodland critters first appeared in the Season 8 episode "Woodland Critter Christmas." It’s widely considered one of the darkest episodes in the series. The game captures that vibe perfectly by making the player an active participant in their schemes.
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Obsessive fans will notice that the dialogue in the game mimics the rhyming scheme from the episode. It’s that attention to detail that makes Obsidian’s development of this game so legendary. They didn't just throw the characters in; they built the encounter to feel like you've stepped inside a specific, twisted episode of the show.
They’re led by Beary the Bear, but you'll also see:
- Rabbitie the Rabbit
- Skunkie the Skunk
- Beavery the Beaver
- Deerery the Deer
- Woodpeckery the Woodpecker
They all look identical to their TV counterparts. It’s a testament to the South Park digital engine that the transition from show to game is literally seamless. You can't tell the difference between a cutscene and an episode.
Common Mistakes and Glitches
Look, the game is polished, but the Lost Forest section can be buggy. Sometimes, even if you follow the "Right, Up, Right, Down, Right" path, the trigger for the clearing won't fire. If this happens, you usually have to exit to the main world map, wait a few seconds, and re-enter.
Another big mistake? Forgetting to actually talk to them to get the Facebook friend request. You can finish their quest, leave the forest, and realize twenty hours later that you never actually "friended" them, which locks you out of the "More than Friends" achievement if you’ve missed other characters along the way.
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Also, don't bother trying to fight them. You can't. They aren't traditional enemies; they are quest-givers and eventually a summon. Your weapons won't do anything in that clearing. Just accept the absurdity and do what the bear says.
Maximizing the Summon Power
Once you have the Stick of Truth woodland critters as a summon, you need to use them wisely. You only get five summon uses per day (one for each of the "god" summons like Mr. Slave, Jesus, Tuong Lu Kim, and the critters).
The critters are best used against groups. If you're fighting the Elves or the Goths or the various Nazi Zombie hordes in the late game, wait until a wave of at least four enemies is present. The "Blood Orgy" animation takes a few seconds, but the damage output is massive. It’s particularly effective against armored targets because the status effects tick down their health regardless of their physical defense stats.
Moving Forward in the Game
Once you've dealt with the critters, you're likely nearing the endgame. Make sure you've also checked the following off your list to ensure you don't have to do a second playthrough:
- Check your friend count. You need 120 friends for the "Outpizzas the Hut" achievement. The 12 critters count as 12 individual friends, which is a massive boost to your total.
- Make sure you've collected the Chinpokomon in the forest area near the critters. There is one hidden just off the path.
- Ensure your equipment is slotted with patches that increase "PP" (Power Points) recovery, so you can use your special abilities more often alongside the summon.
To wrap this up, the Stick of Truth woodland critters represent the peak of South Park's specific brand of "cute-meets-horrifying" humor. They are a powerful mechanical asset and a hilarious narrative inclusion. Go to the Lost Forest. Follow the path. Hail Satan. Get that achievement.
Actionable Next Steps
- Verify your progress: Ensure you have completed the "O Canada" quest before attempting to reach the critters, as you need the Nagasaki fart to clear the path.
- Navigate correctly: Enter the Lost Forest and follow the sequence: Right, Up, Right, Down, Right.
- Secure the alliance: Complete the "Find the Unborn Host" quest to unlock the "Woodland Critters" summon for use in the final battle.
- Completionist check: Speak to the animals after the quest to ensure all 12 are added to your in-game friend list for the "More than Friends" achievement.