Let’s be real for a second. If you’re trying to track down South Park: The Stick of Truth all friends for that "More Popular Than Jesus" achievement, you aren't just playing a game. You're basically doing a census of the most dysfunctional town in Colorado. It’s a grind. A funny, foul-mouthed, rewarding grind, but a grind nonetheless.
Most people think they can just stroll through the main story and the friends list on their in-game Facebook feed will just fill itself out naturally. It won't. You’ll end up at the end of the game with 118 friends, scratching your head because the achievement hasn't popped and you have no idea who you missed. Was it a goth? A crab person? A literal piece of poo? Probably.
The Stick of Truth is a masterpiece of fan service. Obsidian Entertainment—the same folks behind Fallout: New Vegas—didn't just slap a South Park skin on a generic RPG. They built a system where your social standing in the town is the primary metric of your success as the "New Kid." But here is the kicker: some of these friends are "missable." That means if you progress past a certain point in the story, they are gone forever. No do-overs. No backtracking. You're starting a New Game+ just to talk to a guy in a bush.
The Missables: Where Most Players Fail
The biggest hurdle to finding South Park: The Stick of Truth all friends is the point-of-no-return logic.
Take Clyde, for example. You literally start the game and he's right there. You have to talk to him immediately. If you don't, and you progress the tutorial, he deletes you. He’s the first friend on the list and the easiest one to lose. It’s a brutal introduction to how petty South Park can be.
Then you’ve got the Bishop of Banff. During the Canada questline, you have a choice. If you kill him, you can’t be his friend. Obviously. But if you spare him, he joins your list. A lot of players just go full combat mode and realize ten hours later they’ve locked themselves out of the 120-friend total. It’s these small, split-second decisions that define your run.
And don't even get me started on the Lemmiwinks quest. You have to find that heroic gerbil in the Grade School during the "Attack on the School" mission. If you finish the mission and leave the school without finding him in the fifth-grade classroom, he’s gone. You can’t go back in. The school is essentially on lockdown for the rest of the game.
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Location Matters: From the Sewers to the Woods
South Park is surprisingly dense. You've got the main street, sure, but the real meat of the friends list is hidden in the nooks and crannies. The sewers are a prime example. You’ll find the entire Broflovski family—well, the ones that aren't Kyle—scattered around or accessible through specific tasks. But the sewers are also home to Mr. Hankey’s family.
To get the Hankey clan, you have to complete the "Dropping the Mic" quest. It involves finding all the little corn-shitting nuggets. Simon, Amber, and Cornwallis. They aren't just standing around; they require you to use your various "farts" (the game’s version of magic) to clear paths. It’s gross. It’s hilarious. It’s essential.
The Complexity of Faction Friends
A huge chunk of the South Park: The Stick of Truth all friends list comes from the various factions you encounter.
- The Goth Kids: You can’t just ask them to be friends. They think you’re a "douche." You have to undergo a full transformation, buy the right clothes, learn to dance, and bring them coffee. It’s a multi-stage quest that spans a significant portion of the second act.
- The Girls: Getting the girls on your side requires the "Recruit the Girls" quest. This takes you all the way to the Unplanned Parenthood clinic and involves a lot of social engineering.
- The Underpants Gnomes: Yes, they are real. Yes, they are friends. But only after you beat them in a battle while your parents are... well, being parents in the background.
Honestly, the sheer variety of characters is what makes the game feel like a lost season of the show. You’re friending everyone from Al Gore (who will then spam your feed with ManBearPig updates) to Santa Claus (who is chilling on a roof).
Technical Ticks and Social Media Mechanics
The game uses a simulated Facebook interface. Every time you add a friend, you might see them post a status update. These updates are context-sensitive. If you do something big in the main plot, your "wall" lights up with comments. It’s not just a checklist; it’s a living document of your influence on the town.
But there is a mechanical benefit too. Every few friends you gain, you unlock a new "Perk." These perks are game-changers. Some increase your damage when your health is low, others let you find more money. So, finding South Park: The Stick of Truth all friends isn't just for completionists; it’s for anyone who wants to become an unstoppable force in cardboard-armor combat.
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One thing people get wrong is the "Animal" friends. You can actually friend the animals in the Lost Forest. You have to follow a very specific path—kind of like the old Zelda woods—to find the Christmas Critters. If you don't have the "Woodland Critter Christmas" lore in your head, you’ll get lost. Once you find them, you have to "accept" their lord and savior (it’s Satan, obviously) to get them on your list.
The Final Push: The End-Game Friends
As you reach the final assault on the Dark Lord’s fortress, the game starts throwing friends at you rapidly. Big Gay Al calls you. The Crab People might show up if you’ve explored the deep sewers. Even Ike, Kyle’s brother, becomes a friend if you interact with him during the siege.
The trick is to never stop pressing the interact button. If a character has a name and isn't actively trying to kill you, they are probably a potential friend. Some require you to buy things from them. Some require you to find their lost stuff (looking at you, Jimbo and your hunting quest).
I remember my first playthrough. I was at 119 friends. One. Short. I spent three hours scouring the map. Turned out, I never talked to Kevin Stoley in his house. He’s just sitting there in his room, surrounded by Star Wars gear, waiting for someone to acknowledge his existence. Talk to everyone. Even the weirdos. Especially the weirdos.
Actionable Steps for 100% Completion
If you're serious about hitting that 120-friend mark, you need a plan. You can't just wing it.
First, grab the "Clyde" friend immediately at the Kupa Keep armory. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Talk to him before talking to Cartman. Next, make sure you do every side quest as soon as it appears. Side quests are the primary source of non-story friends. Jimbo’s hunting quest, Mayor McDaniels’ task, and Al Gore’s ManBearPig hunt are mandatory.
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Second, be extremely careful during the three "Infiltration" segments: the School, the Taco Bell/Government site, and the finale. These areas contain friends that you cannot get anywhere else. In the government site, make sure you find the hidden gnome. In the school, find Lemmiwinks.
Third, use your map. The map shows you where quest givers are. But it doesn't show you the hidden people. Check every house. Go into every garage. Use your "Probe" tool to reach balconies you think are just background art.
The final "friend" is usually the hardest because it requires you to have finished almost everything else. If you’ve done it right, your Facebook feed in the game will be a chaotic mess of South Park's finest citizens. And you’ll have that sweet, sweet achievement to prove you’re the most popular kid in the most messed-up town in America.
How to Audit Your List
Check your list against the main groups. If you're missing someone, they likely belong to one of these clusters:
- The Kupa Keep Crew: All the kids in Cartman's backyard.
- The Sewers: Mr. Hankey, his family, and the Crab People.
- The School: Goth kids and various students like Bill and Fosse.
- The Town Adults: Mr. Tweak, Mrs. Marsh, Principal Victors.
- The Supernatural/Oddities: Jesus, Santa, the Christmas Critters, and the City Wok guy.
Missing even one of these can stall your progress toward the perks. Most players find that they are missing the "hidden" ones, like the guy hiding in the bushes near the entrance to the forest or the doll in the girls' secret clubhouse. Pay attention to the dialogue; often, a character will mention someone else, giving you a hint of who to look for next.
Ultimately, finding everyone is about exploration. It's about being a completionist in a world that rewards you for poking your nose where it doesn't belong. Just watch out for the ManBearPig. He's real, I'm super serial.
Next Steps for Completion:
- Check your current friend count in the "Collectibles" tab of the in-game menu.
- Visit the Post Office to see if any friends sent you requests that you haven't "accepted" yet.
- Head to the Lost Forest and use the pattern (Right, Up, Right, Down, Right) to find the Christmas Critters if you haven't already.
- Ensure you've completed "Find the Tweeker" and "Investigate ManBearPig" as these unlock multiple contacts.