If you’ve ever cracked open a dusty Italian textbook from 1995, you probably learned that the only way to say so so in Italian is così così. It’s the classic response. You ask someone how they are, and they give you that little hand-wobble gesture.
But honestly? If you walk into a bar in Trastevere or a bakery in Milan and keep saying così così, you’re going to sound like a literal robot. Italians rarely use it. It’s one of those "classroom phrases" that exists in theory but feels stiff in the wild. Real Italian is much more expressive, a bit moodier, and honestly, way more fun once you get the hang of the nuances.
The Problem with "Così Così"
It’s not technically wrong. If you say it, people will understand you. However, language isn't just about being understood; it’s about vibe. In Italy, the "so so" feeling is usually more specific. Are you tired? Is the food mediocre? Is the movie just "meh"? Each of those feelings has its own word.
Native speakers tend to lean into more colloquial expressions. Think about how in English, we rarely say "I am feeling mediocre." We say "I'm alright," "hanging in there," or "could be better." Italian works the same way. The phrase così così feels a bit clinical. It lacks the flavor of real daily life.
Why "Insomma" is the Real King
If you want to sound like you actually live in Italy, you need to master insomma. This is the true heavy lifter of the Italian language. It covers the ground of so so in Italian but with about fifty different shades of meaning depending on your tone of voice.
Imagine your friend asks how your blind date went. If you say "insomma," while tilting your head and pursing your lips, you’re saying it was pretty bad without being overtly rude. If you say it with a shrug, it means "it was okay, I guess." It’s incredibly versatile. It’s a filler, a conclusion, and a "so-so" all wrapped into one messy, beautiful word.
Unlike the flat così così, insomma invites the other person into your headspace. It’s conversational glue.
Other Ways to Express Mediocrity
Sometimes things aren't just "so so." Sometimes they are aggressively average.
Take the phrase senza infamia e senza lode. This is a gem. It literally translates to "without infamy and without praise." It comes straight out of Dante’s Divine Comedy. It refers to the people who weren't good enough for heaven but weren't bad enough for hell. In modern Italy, it’s how you describe a pasta dish that was fine but you’d never order it again.
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Then you have niente di che. This is the equivalent of "nothing special."
- "Com'era il film?" (How was the movie?)
- "Mah, niente di che." (Meh, nothing special.)
It’s dismissive. It’s casual. It’s what you say when you don’t want to waste any more energy thinking about something that bored you.
The "Non C'è Male" Trap
Often, when English speakers look for so so in Italian, they are actually trying to say "not bad." In this case, non c'è male is your best friend. It’s actually more positive than "so so." If someone asks how work is going and you say non c'è male, you’re basically saying things are actually going quite well, but you’re being humble or superstitious about it. Italians can be a bit superstitious—admitting things are "great" feels like an invitation for the universe to mess it up.
Regional Variations: From North to South
Italy isn't a monolith. The way someone in Venice expresses "so so" might differ slightly from a Sicilian.
In the North, you might hear tiriamo avanti. It literally means "we pull forward." It’s the weary, hardworking version of "so so." It implies that life is a bit of a struggle, but you’re managing. It’s a very common response among the older generation or anyone working a 9-to-5 in a grey city.
Down South, expressions tend to get more colorful. You might hear people use gestures more than words. A simple shrug with a turned-out palm can communicate "so so" more effectively than a ten-minute explanation.
The Grammar of Being Vague
Let's talk about più o meno. You’ve likely heard this one. It means "more or less."
While it’s often used for measurements or quantities ("I'll be there in ten minutes, more or less"), it also works for feelings. If someone asks if you’re happy with your new apartment, a "più o meno" suggests there are some pros and some very annoying cons (like a neighbor who plays the drums at 2 AM).
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It’s less about the quality and more about the balance of good and bad.
When to Actually Use "Così Così"
Is there ever a time to use the textbook phrase? Sure.
If you are talking to a child or if you are a very beginner and your brain has frozen in the middle of a conversation, throw out a così così. It’s a safe harbor. It’s also used when you’re literally describing a physical state, like "I feel so-so" (Mi sento così così), though even then, non sto benissimo (I don't feel great) is more common.
Real World Examples
Let's look at how this plays out in a real conversation.
Scenario A: The Polite Acquaintance
Person 1: "Ciao! Come va?" (Hi! How's it going?)
Person 2: "Eh, si tira avanti." (Eh, just getting by.)
Scenario B: The Food Critic Friend
Person 1: "Ti è piaciuto il ristorante?" (Did you like the restaurant?)
Person 2: "Insomma. Il servizio era lento." (Not really/So-so. The service was slow.)
Scenario C: The Casual Check-in
Person 1: "Tutto bene a scuola?" (Everything good at school?)
Person 2: "Più o meno. Ho un sacco di compiti." (More or less. I have a ton of homework.)
Notice how none of these people used così così. They used phrases that added flavor to their answer.
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Beyond Words: The Facial Expressions
You cannot talk about so so in Italian without talking about the face. Italian is a 3D language.
When you say insomma, your eyebrows should probably go up. Your mouth should turn down slightly at the corners. If you’re saying niente di che, you might tilt your head and look slightly bored.
The "so so" hand gesture—the palm-down hand wobble—is famous for a reason. It’s the universal Italian sign for "it fluctuates." If you use the gesture, you almost don't even need the words. But pairing the gesture with a well-placed insomma? That’s when you start sounding like a local.
Cultural Nuance: Why Italians Aren't Always "Bene"
In some cultures, when someone asks "How are you?", the only acceptable answer is "Great!" or "Good!" Even if your house just burned down, you say "I'm fine, thanks."
Italy is different. There is a certain cultural honesty about the fact that life is often "so so." Being insomma is a perfectly valid state of being. It’s not seen as being a "downer" to admit that things are just okay. This honesty is reflected in the sheer number of ways to say "so so."
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Overusing the phrase: Don't make it your default. If you use it for every answer, you'll never move past the "tourist" stage.
- Ignoring the tone: Insomma can be a question, too. If someone says "I finished the project," and you say "Insomma?", you're asking "So, how did it really go?"
- Forgetting the "Eh": Most of these expressions are preceded by a long, drawn-out "Eh..." or "Mah..." These sounds are the linguistic equivalent of a shrug and are vital for the rhythm of the sentence.
Actionable Steps for Learners
If you want to move beyond the basics and start using these phrases naturally, try this:
- Audit your "How are you?": Next time someone asks how you are in Italian, force yourself not to say bene or così così. Choose non c'è male or si tira avanti instead.
- Watch Italian Cinema: Pay attention to how characters react to disappointment. You'll hear insomma and niente di che constantly. Note the body language.
- Practice the "Mah": Practice starting your sentences with Mah (a sound of uncertainty). It helps set the tone for a "so so" response.
- Context matters: Use niente di che for objects and events, and insomma or si tira avanti for personal well-being or more complex situations.
Italian is a language of emotion and precision, even when you're being vague. Stop settling for the textbook answers. Start embracing the "insomma" lifestyle. It’s much more authentic, and honestly, it takes the pressure off having to be "bene" all the time.
Start by replacing your next così così with a skeptical insomma and see how much more naturally the conversation flows. You'll find that people respond better when you sound like a human rather than a grammar exercise.