It starts with a heavy gold amulet. You buy it from a guy named Maramal in a dimly lit tavern in Riften, and suddenly, the frozen, dragon-infested wasteland of Skyrim feels a little less lonely. Honestly, the Skyrim marriage system is one of those weird, clunky, yet deeply charming mechanics that has kept people playing for over a decade. It’s not exactly The Sims. You don’t go on elaborate dates or worry about "compatibility scores." You basically just wear a piece of jewelry, help someone find their lost goat or clear out a basement full of spiders, and they're ready to move into your drafty house in Whiterun forever.
But there is a lot more nuance to it than just picking the first NPC who smiles at you.
How Skyrim Marriage Actually Works (and What It Misses)
The Amulet of Mara is your golden ticket. Without it, you’re just another adventurer. Once you’ve spoken to Maramal about how marriage works in the Nordic tradition, wearing that necklace sends a signal to eligible NPCs. If you've completed a specific favor for them—a quest, a gold donation, or a brawling match—they’ll notice the amulet. They’ll ask if you’re interested. You say yes. Then you trek back to the Temple of Mara for a wedding that lasts about forty-five seconds.
It's fast.
The game doesn't care about your character's gender, which was actually pretty progressive for 2011. Whether you’re a Khajiit, a Nord, or an Altmer, the pool of candidates is wide, though strangely, you can't marry a Khajiit or a Wood Elf in the base game without mods. That's a weird limitation that Bethesda never really explained, but players have been complaining about it on forums for years.
The "Best" Spouses Everyone Actually Picks
Let’s be real. Out of the 60+ options, most players gravitate toward a handful of favorites.
Aela the Huntress is the big one. She’s a member of The Companions, a werewolf, and an incredibly high-level archer. People pick her because she’s a "Combat Spouse." She can actually hold her own when a Blood Dragon decides to crash your morning commute to Windhelm. Then there's Mjoll the Lioness in Riften. She’s essential, meaning she literally cannot be killed by enemies. That makes her a top-tier choice for players who don't want to become a widower because of a stray fireball.
On the other hand, you have Lydia. Everyone knows Lydia. She’s your first Housecarl, she’s sworn to carry your burdens, and she’s already standing in your house. It’s a marriage of convenience. It’s the "we’re already roommates, might as well get the tax benefits" of the Elder Scrolls world.
Some people go for Farkas or Vilkas. They’re the heavy hitters of the Companions. They’re earnest, they’re strong, and they provide that "Lover’s Comfort" bonus which helps you level up your skills 15% faster. That’s the real secret. Marriage in this game is a mechanical buff disguised as a social feature.
The Perks Nobody Tells You About
Why bother? Is it just for the roleplay? Not really.
💡 You might also like: Final Fantasy VII PS5: Why the Intergrade Update Still Matters in 2026
Every single day, your spouse will cook you a "Homecooked Meal." It’s a literal item that boosts your Health, Magicka, and Stamina regeneration. It’s better than any potion you’ll find in a dungeon. Plus, they open a shop. You don't see the shop, you don't help them stock the shelves, but every 24 hours, they’ll hand you 100 gold. It’s passive income. Over a long playthrough, your spouse basically pays for your expensive Ebony arrow habit.
- Lover's Comfort: Sleeping near your spouse gives you a 15% XP boost for 8 hours.
- The Store: They buy and sell items, meaning you don't have to run to the Gray-Quarter to offload your junk.
- The Meal: A once-a-day buff that is arguably the best food item in the game.
The Dark Side: Can You Get Divorced?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Only if you’re a bit of a monster.
In the vanilla game, marriage is for life. There is no "Divorce Court" in Solitude. If you regret marrying Cosnach because he won't stop complaining about the cold, you're stuck. Unless, of course, they die. Skyrim is a dangerous place. Some players "accidentally" lead their spouses into a giant camp or use the Ebony Blade on them to fulfill a certain Daedric Prince's quest requirements.
It’s grim.
If your spouse dies, you are single again, but you cannot remarry in the base game. Once you’ve had your wedding in the Temple of Mara, that’s your one shot. This is why choosing the right person matters so much. If you pick a spouse who is "non-essential," they can die in a vampire raid or a dragon attack on the city. Imagine coming home to Breezehome and finding your partner gone because a stray arrow hit them during a random encounter. It happens more than you'd think.
🔗 Read more: Why Searching for a Cheat Evolution Crack Pro Usually Ends in a Malware Infection
Common Bugs and How to Avoid Them
Skyrim is famous for its glitches, and the wedding ceremony is a prime target for them. Sometimes, the "Move In" dialogue doesn't trigger. Sometimes, your spouse walks out of the temple and literally vanishes from the face of Nirn.
To avoid the "Disappearing Spouse" bug, wait inside the temple after the ceremony until they speak to you. Don't just sprint for the door to go kill more bandits. You need to confirm which house you’re moving into. If you have the Hearthfire DLC and you’ve built your own manor, make sure it has a bed for them. If it doesn't, they might just default back to their original AI pathing and spend the rest of their lives in a tavern in Markarth while you're wondering where your 100 gold is.
Beyond the Vanilla Game: The Modding Scene
If you’re on PC or even Xbox, the Skyrim marriage experience is vastly different because of the modding community. Mods like Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions let you move into custom castles, while others like Immersive Citizens make your spouse actually do things other than stare at a wall.
There are even mods that add fully voiced romance arcs. Characters like Serana—who famously cannot be married in the base game—have entire fan-made expansions that allow for a wedding. It’s a testament to how much people care about this mechanic. They want it to be deeper. They want the person waiting at home to feel like a real part of the world, not just a vending machine that says "Hello, my love."
Actionable Steps for Your Next Playthrough
- Don't rush the wedding. If you marry a merchant, you lose their specific store inventory for a generic "Spouse Store." Marry a follower instead so they can travel with you.
- Pick an Essential NPC. If you plan on having them follow you into combat, choose Mjoll or someone tagged as essential so you don't have to reload a save every time a trap goes off.
- Get the 15% Boost. Always sleep in your home house before heading out to grind skills like Smithing or Enchanting. That 15% "Lover's Comfort" stacks with Guardian Stones, making it the fastest way to hit level 100.
- Check the House. Ensure you have a "Child's Bedroom" if you plan on adopting kids too, or the spouse AI can get wonky with the Hearthfire homes.
Ultimately, marriage in Skyrim is what you make of it. It can be a cold, calculated move for gold and XP, or it can be the one bit of stability in a world that’s literally ending. Choose wisely, because unless you're willing to use console commands or a very sharp sword, "'til death do us part" is a literal promise in the province of Skyrim.