Most people think they have a "Why." They don't. They usually have a "What" that sounds fancy or a "How" that feels emotional. When Simon Sinek dropped his TED talk back in 2009 about the Golden Circle, it basically broke the internet before breaking the internet was a common phrase. It was simple. It was elegant. But then came the follow-up work, specifically the book Find Your Why, and that’s where things got messy for a lot of folks.
Simon Sinek's Find Your Why isn't just a sequel; it’s a tactical manual. But here is the thing: finding your purpose isn't some mystical vision quest where you sit on a mountain and wait for a lightning bolt. It's an archaeological dig. You’re looking for stuff that’s already there.
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The Messy Reality of the Golden Circle
The Golden Circle is easy to draw on a napkin. You’ve got Why in the middle, then How, then What on the outside. Simple, right? Most companies work from the outside in. They tell you what they do (we sell software), how they do it (it's cloud-based and fast), and they expect a purchase. Sinek argued that leaders like Apple or Martin Luther King Jr. worked from the inside out. They started with the belief.
But honestly, applying this to your own life is exhausting. People get stuck in the "What." They think their Why is "to be a great parent" or "to make enough money to retire." Sinek would tell you those aren't Whys. Those are results or responsibilities. Your Why is a singular expression of who you are at your best. It doesn't change. It's not a goal. It’s an origin story.
The Archaeological Dig: How to Actually Find Your Why
In the book Find Your Why, co-authored with David Mead and Peter Docker, the process is stripped of the "inspirational speaker" fluff and turned into a step-by-step partner exercise. You cannot find your Why alone. It’s impossible. You’re too close to your own BS. You need a partner to act as a mirror, someone who listens for the emotional "ping" when you tell stories.
Step 1: Gather Stories
You need specific memories. Not "I liked my job in 2015." That's useless. You need "The Tuesday in 2015 when my boss gave me a high-five after I saved a client’s account." You need the highs and the lows. Usually, about seven to ten stories will do.
Step 2: The Partner's Job
Your partner isn't there to give advice. They are there to take notes and look for themes. If every story you tell involves you standing up for the underdog, that’s a theme. If every story is about solving a puzzle that others gave up on, that’s a theme.
Step 3: Draft the Statement
Sinek’s format is rigid for a reason. To [Contribution] so that [Impact]. - To inspire people to do the things that inspire them so that together we can change our world. (That’s Simon’s).
- To find the silver lining in every cloud so that others can find the courage to keep going. (An example of a personal one).
It sounds cheesy. It feels "corporate" at first. But when you hit the right combination of words, you feel it in your gut. It’s a physical reaction.
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Why Your Business is Failing the "Why" Test
Let's talk about the Simon Sinek Find Your Why methodology in a corporate setting. Most mission statements are garbage. They use words like "synergy," "innovation," and "world-class." Those words mean nothing. They have no soul.
When a team goes through a Why Discovery, they often realize the company's "Why" has nothing to do with the product. A dry cleaning business might have a Why about "helping people feel confident for their big moments." If that’s the Why, then the "What" (cleaning shirts) is just a vehicle.
This is where the "Split" happens. Sinek describes the Split as the moment a company grows and the Why becomes blurry. The founder’s original intent gets buried under spreadsheets and KPIs. Suddenly, the "What" becomes the only thing that matters. This is how great companies become mediocre. They lose their filter.
The "How" is Just as Important (But Everyone Ignores It)
If the Why is your destination, the Hows are the guardrails. In the Find Your Why framework, your Hows are your values in action. They must be verbs. "Integrity" isn't a How. "Always tell the truth" or "Do the right thing even when it hurts" is a How.
If your Why is to "connect people," your How might be "to find common ground." These are the things that make you unique. Two people can have the same Why but totally different Hows. That’s why some people love working together and others want to throw chairs at each other even though they want the same thing.
Common Pitfalls: Where Most People Trip Up
- The "Why" as a Marketing Slogan: If you’re trying to find your Why just to sell more stuff, you’ve already lost. People can smell a fake "Why" from a mile away. It’s a belief, not a pitch.
- Thinking Your Why is Your Job: Your job is what you do. Your Why is why you do it. If you lose your job, your Why doesn't go away. You just find a new "What" to express it.
- The Solo Search: I’ve seen so many people try to do this with a journal and a glass of wine. It doesn't work. You need that second person to say, "Hey, your eyes lit up when you talked about that project in 3rd grade. Why?"
The Science of the Limbic System
Sinek bases a lot of this on biology, specifically the structure of the brain. The neocortex is the "What" part—it handles language, logic, and analytical thought. The limbic brain is the "Why" part—it handles feelings, trust, and loyalty. But here’s the kicker: the limbic brain has no capacity for language.
That is why it’s so hard to put your Why into words. It’s why you say "I just have a gut feeling" or "It just felt right." You’re trying to use your neocortex to explain a limbic decision. The Find Your Why process is essentially a bridge-building exercise between these two parts of your brain.
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Real-World Impact: Does It Actually Work?
Look at companies like Patagonia. Their Why is "We’re in business to save our home planet." Every "What" they do—from making jackets out of recycled bottles to suing the government over land rights—filters through that Why. It makes decision-making fast.
For an individual, it’s a career filter. If you know your Why is "to create order out of chaos," you’re going to be miserable in a job where everything is already perfectly organized. You’ll be the person who intentionally breaks things just so you can fix them. Understanding that about yourself saves years of frustration.
Taking the First Step
Stop looking for a "career path." Start looking for your "Why."
- Pick your partner: Find someone you trust but who isn't a family member. You want someone who can be objective.
- Set aside three hours: This isn't a 15-minute coffee chat. You need to dive deep into your history.
- Tell the "Peak" stories: Think of the moments where you felt truly alive, where you thought, "I would do this for free."
- Focus on the contribution: What is the specific thing you give to others? Is it clarity? Is it energy? Is it safety?
- Define the impact: What does the world look like after you've contributed?
The goal isn't to write a perfect sentence. The goal is to find a compass. Once you have that compass, you stop guessing which way to walk. You just go.
Actionable Insights for Your Journey:
- Audit your current "What": List your daily tasks. If none of them align with your contribution or desired impact, you’re in a "Why" crisis.
- Draft a "Draft Why": Don't aim for perfection. Write down "I help [X] so that [Y]" and live with it for a week. See if it fits.
- Use your Why as a "No" filter: The next time someone asks you to join a project or a committee, ask yourself if it serves your Why. If it doesn't, "No" becomes much easier to say.
- Study the "Hows": Identify 3-5 actionable values that dictate how you work. Make sure they are verbs. Refine them until they feel like rules you actually live by.