You’ve probably been told that the best way to handle a "bad" emotion is to sit with it. Be present. Feel the burn. Or, if you’re from a different school of thought, you might’ve been told to just "suck it up" and keep moving.
Honestly? Both of those approaches kind of suck if you use them for everything.
In his new work, the Shift book Ethan Kross basically argues that we’ve been looking at our emotional lives through a keyhole when we should be looking through a wide-angle lens. Kross, the University of Michigan psychologist who gave us the bestseller Chatter, isn't just talking about that annoying voice in your head anymore. He’s talking about the whole damn dashboard. Released in early 2025, Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You is less about silencing the noise and more about how we can deliberately pull the levers of our own biology to change how we feel in real-time.
The Myth of the "Bad" Emotion
We spend a lot of time trying to "fix" anxiety or "cure" sadness. Kross makes a pretty compelling case that this is a waste of energy.
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Emotions are just data.
Think of them like an immune system for your brain. When you feel a spike of fear, it’s not a glitch; it’s a signal that something you care about is under threat. The problem isn't the signal. The problem is when the signal gets stuck in a loop.
If you’re stuck in traffic and your blood is boiling, that rage is telling you your goal (getting home) is being blocked. That's fine for a second. But if you’re still screaming at the steering wheel twenty minutes later, the emotion is now managing you.
How the "Shifters" Actually Work
Kross breaks his framework down into what he calls "shifters." These aren't some woo-woo manifestation techniques. They are hardwired biological shortcuts.
Sensory Shifters (The Quick Fix)
This is probably the coolest part of the book because it’s so stupidly simple. Our senses—sight, sound, smell—are direct lines to the emotional centers of the brain. You can actually "nudge" your mood by changing your sensory input.
- The Power of Sound: Kross talks about creating specific playlists not just for "vibes," but for emotional regulation.
- The "Scent" Hack: Ever wonder why a certain smell instantly makes you feel safe or panicked? You can use that.
- Temperature and Taste: Even drinking something cold or eating something sweet can act as a circuit breaker for a spiraling mood.
Perspective and Space Shifting
One of the heavy hitters in the Shift book Ethan Kross is the idea of "place-shifting." Your physical environment is constantly whispering to your subconscious. A cluttered desk isn’t just a mess; it’s a cognitive load.
Kross tells this wild story about a Navy SEAL carrying nuclear codes. You’d think a guy like that has a "mind of steel," right? But even he had to learn how to shift his perspective to manage the crushing weight of his job. He didn't do it by being "tough." He did it by learning how to zoom out—looking at his situation from the perspective of time (how will I feel about this in ten years?) or from the perspective of a fly on the wall.
Is Avoidance Actually Healthy?
This is where Kross gets controversial, and I love it.
Most therapists will tell you that avoidance is toxic. Kross says: "Not always."
If you’re in the middle of a high-stakes meeting and you feel a wave of panic, "sitting with your feelings" might actually make you perform worse. In that moment, a "distraction shift"—picking up a book, focusing on a task, or even just leaving the room—is a legitimate tool.
The caveat? Don't do it forever. Distraction is a bridge, not a destination. You use it to get your heart rate down so you can actually deal with the problem later.
Why "Shift" is Different from "Chatter"
If Chatter was about the words we use, Shift is about the tools we use.
Chatter focused heavily on distance self-talk (talking to yourself in the third person). It was a game-changer for a lot of people. But Shift acknowledges that sometimes, talking to yourself isn't enough. Sometimes you need to move your body, change your room, or call a specific kind of friend.
He introduces the WOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) as a way to turn these shifts into actual habits. It’s not enough to know how to shift; you need a plan for when the wheels fall off.
Actionable Steps to Take Right Now
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don't just wait for it to pass.
- Audit your space. If you’re feeling anxious, look around. Is your environment contributing to the noise? Clear one surface. Just one.
- Use the "Time Travel" trick. When a situation feels like the end of the world, ask yourself: "How will I feel about this in six months?" Usually, the intensity drops immediately.
- Build an "Emergency Sensory Kit." Have a specific song, a specific scent (like lavender or peppermint), or even a heavy blanket ready for when the "shifter" needs to be physical.
- Stop the "Co-Rumination." We all have that one friend we call to vent. But if all you’re doing is "venting" without looking for a perspective shift, you’re just making the fire bigger. Find a "Challenge Friend" who helps you see the situation differently.
The reality is that we aren't victims of our biology. We are the pilots. It just takes a bit of practice to learn where the buttons are.
Start by identifying your most frequent "stuck" emotion this week. Is it work stress? Loneliness? Once you name it, pick one sensory shifter—like a specific song or a walk outside—and use it the second that feeling hits a 7 out of 10.