Back in 2013, you couldn’t walk through an airport without seeing that minimalist white cover with the blue text. Sheryl Sandberg was the "it" girl of corporate America. She was the COO of Facebook, the woman who turned Mark Zuckerberg’s dorm-room project into a money-printing machine. Then she wrote Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.
It wasn't just a book. It was a cultural earthquake.
Honestly, it feels like a lifetime ago. The world has changed. Meta is a different beast, and Sandberg herself has stepped away from the boardroom spotlight. But the debate over "leaning in" hasn't actually died. It’s just evolved into something much messier and, frankly, more interesting.
The Pitch: Why We All Bought In
The core message was simple, maybe dangerously so. Sandberg argued that women were unintentionally holding themselves back. We were "leaving before we left," opting out of big projects or promotions because we were already planning for kids we hadn't even conceived yet.
She told us to "sit at the table." Literally.
She shared stories of being the only woman in the room and realize that the men weren't smarter; they were just louder. They took the credit. They didn't have the "imposter syndrome" that seems to haunt even the most brilliant women. The book felt like a secret playbook. If we just fixed our internal monologue—if we were more assertive, more "ambitious"—the glass ceiling would finally shatter.
The Reality Check: When "Leaning In" Hit a Wall
It didn't take long for the cracks to show. You've probably heard the term "Girlboss feminism" tossed around as an insult lately. That’s the legacy Sandberg is grappling with today.
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Critics, most notably the late bell hooks and Michelle Obama, pointed out a glaring flaw: leaning in is a luxury. If you’re a billionaire COO with a fleet of nannies and a private chef, "sitting at the table" is a lot easier. For a single mom working two jobs or a woman of color facing systemic racism that no amount of "assertiveness" can fix, the advice felt tone-deaf.
Michelle Obama famously said at a book tour stop, "That 'lean in' shit doesn't work all the time."
She wasn't being mean. She was being real. You can't just "will" your way out of a system that wasn't built for you.
The Ambition-Likability Paradox
One of the most nuanced points Sandberg actually made—which people often forget—is the Ambition-Likability Paradox. Research shows that as men become more successful, they are liked more by both men and women. As women become more successful, they are liked less.
It's a trap. If you're "aggressive," you're a "bitch." If you're "communal," you're not leadership material.
Where is Sheryl Sandberg Now?
In 2022, Sandberg announced she was leaving Meta. By May 2024, she officially exited the board. It was the end of an era.
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The narrative around her shifted significantly after the 2016 election and the Cambridge Analytica scandal. The "feminist icon" became the "corporate defender." It’s hard to sell a message of empowerment when the platform you run is being accused of damaging the mental health of teenage girls and polarizing global democracy.
But she didn't just disappear.
Today, she’s focusing heavily on LeanIn.Org and her foundation. They’ve pivoted. They talk a lot more about intersectionality now. They’ve realized that the "individual" approach—telling women to just change themselves—wasn't enough. Their annual "Women in the Workplace" reports, done with McKinsey, are actually some of the best data we have on the "broken rung"—the idea that women aren't getting stuck at the glass ceiling, but failing to get that very first promotion to manager.
What Most People Get Wrong
Most people think Lean In was a manifesto for work-life balance. It wasn't. Sandberg herself said there’s no such thing as "having it all."
The book was actually a plea for power.
She believed that if more women were in charge, the policies would change. If women ran the companies, we’d have better maternity leave, better childcare, and more flexible hours. The problem is that the "trickle-down" feminism she hoped for didn't really happen. Having a few women at the top didn't automatically make life better for the women at the bottom.
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Does "Leaning In" Still Matter in 2026?
Sorta. But not in the way it used to.
We've moved into an era of "Leaning Out" or "Quiet Quitting." After a global pandemic, the idea of grinding 80 hours a week just to get a seat at a table that might be on fire anyway feels... exhausting.
However, the data from 2025 and early 2026 shows a worrying trend. Progress for women in senior leadership has stalled. In some sectors, it’s actually regressed. The "ambition gap" is widening again, but not because women lack drive. It's because the cost of "leaning in" has become too high.
Actionable Insights for the Modern Workplace
If you're navigating a career today, the "Lean In" playbook needs an update. Here is how to use the best parts of the philosophy without falling into the "Girlboss" trap:
- Audit the "Broken Rung": Don't just look at the C-suite. Look at who is getting promoted to the first level of management in your company. If it’s mostly men, the system is rigged before you even get close to the top.
- Find a "Sponsor," Not Just a "Mentor": Sandberg was right about mentorship, but she missed the nuance. A mentor gives you advice; a sponsor uses their social capital to get you a raise. You need someone who mentions your name in rooms you aren't in.
- Stop "Leaving Before You Leave": This is still her best piece of advice. Don't turn down a promotion today because you might want to have a baby in three years. Take the win now. You'll have more leverage and more money to figure out the childcare later.
- Negotiate for "Communal" Reasons: Because of the likability paradox, research suggests women are more successful in negotiations when they frame their requests as being good for the team or the company, rather than just themselves. It’s annoying that we have to do it, but it works.
- Check Your Own Bias: We are often our own worst critics. If you see a woman being "bossy," ask yourself if you’d use that word for a man doing the exact same thing.
The legacy of Sheryl Sandberg and Lean In is complicated. It’s a mix of genuine empowerment and corporate spin. But at its heart, it started a conversation that we're still having. We've just realized that "sitting at the table" is only the first step. The next step is changing the table itself.
Next Steps for You
- Review your company's latest DEI report: See if the "broken rung" (the transition from entry-level to manager) shows a gender gap.
- Practice "The Ask": Set a 10-minute meeting this week to discuss your career trajectory with your manager, focusing on specific metrics for your next promotion.
- Form a Peer Circle: Look into the "Lean In Circles" model—not for corporate ladder climbing, but for genuine peer support and navigating workplace politics.