When Sebastian Junger released Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging back in 2016, it wasn’t just another book about PTSD. It was an indictment. Junger, who spent years embedded with troops in the Korengal Valley for his documentary Restrepo, noticed something that felt completely backwards: soldiers often missed the war.
They didn't miss the IEDs or the losing friends part. They missed the being needed part. They missed the "I’ve got your back" part that disappears the second you step off a plane into a suburban airport. Honestly, if you’ve ever felt like your 9-to-5 is sucking the soul out of you despite having a "good life," Junger is basically talking to you, too.
The Weird Reason Settlers Ran Away to Live with Tribes
Junger starts with a historical head-scratcher. In colonial America, hundreds of European settlers were captured by Native American tribes. When they were eventually "rescued" and brought back to "civilization," many of them—men, women, and kids—ran right back to the tribes at the first chance they got.
Benjamin Franklin even wrote about this in 1753. He was baffled. You had people leaving a world of beds, forks, and permanent housing for a life that was objectively harder and more dangerous. But the opposite almost never happened. Native Americans weren't exactly lining up to live in Philadelphia or Boston.
Why? Because tribal life offered something modern society had already started to lose: absolute equality and total belonging. In a tribe, you knew exactly who you were. You were the person who hunted the meat, or the person who made the clothes. If you didn't do your job, the person next to you might starve. You were necessary.
In our world, we’ve traded that for comfort. We have Uber Eats and high-speed internet, but we don't actually need our neighbors to survive. And it turns out, that "independence" is a psychological trap.
👉 See also: Clothes hampers with lids: Why your laundry room setup is probably failing you
Modern Society is "Mortally Dispiriting"
Junger doesn't mince words. He argues that modern society is basically designed to make us miserable. We evolved to live in groups of about 30 to 50 people where we shared everything. Now, we live in boxes, drive in boxes, and work in boxes.
As wealth goes up, suicide and depression rates go up too. It sounds counterintuitive, right? You’d think having more money would make you happier. But wealth allows us to live independently, which is just a fancy way of saying "alone."
The Disaster Paradox
Here’s a crazy stat Junger digs up: during the London Blitz in WWII, psychiatric admissions actually dropped.
Planners expected 4 million people to have mental breakdowns from the constant bombing. Instead, people became more stable. Why? Because when the bombs started falling, everyone had to pull together. You weren't just a shopkeeper anymore; you were the guy helping your neighbor dig out of the rubble.
The same thing happened in New York after 9/11. Violent crime fell. Suicide rates dropped. For a brief moment, the "fissures" of race, politics, and class vanished because there was a common threat. We were a tribe again.
✨ Don't miss: Christmas Treat Bag Ideas That Actually Look Good (And Won't Break Your Budget)
Why Veterans Struggle with Homecoming
The core of the book is about the "homecoming" part. Most people think PTSD is just about the trauma of seeing bad things. But Junger points out something interesting: only about 10% of the military actually sees combat, yet PTSD claims have skyrocketed.
He argues that a lot of what we call PTSD is actually transition distress.
Imagine you spend a year in a platoon where you are never alone. You eat, sleep, and fight with the same 30 people. You trust them with your life. Then, you fly home. You’re dropped into a suburban neighborhood where you don't even know your neighbor’s name.
The silence is what kills.
- The Loss of Shared Purpose: In the military, the mission is everything. At home, the mission is... paying the mortgage?
- The Victim Narrative: Junger is pretty critical of how we treat vets as "broken." He says that by putting them on permanent disability and treating them like victims, we actually prevent them from reintegrating. We’re basically telling them they aren't needed anymore.
- A Divided Society: It’s hard to "live for a country" that spends all its time screaming at itself on the news. Vets come home from a place where race and politics didn't matter because you needed the guy next to you, and they find a society that is basically at war with itself.
How to Actually Fix the Belonging Gap
Junger doesn't just complain; he offers some pretty radical ideas for how we can get that tribal feeling back without needing a war or a natural disaster to do it.
🔗 Read more: Charlie Gunn Lynnville Indiana: What Really Happened at the Family Restaurant
Honestly, some of his ideas are a bit controversial, but they make sense if you look at how human history actually worked. He looks at the Iroquois and other tribes who had specific rituals for "cleansing" warriors when they came home. It wasn't just a "thank you for your service" at a football game. The whole community took responsibility for what the warrior did on their behalf.
Actionable Ways to Build Your Own "Tribe"
- Stop "Thanking" and Start Listening: Instead of a hollow "thank you for your service," Junger suggests town hall meetings where veterans can stand up and tell the truth about what happened—the good, the bad, and the ugly. The community needs to hear it to share the burden.
- Seek Out "Shared Hardship": You don't need a war, but you do need to do hard things with other people. This is why CrossFit, high-intensity volunteer work, or even intense team sports are so popular. They mimic the tribal bond through shared struggle.
- Reject the Isolation of Wealth: If you can afford to live in a house where you never see your neighbors, maybe don't. Build "low-fenced" communities. Eat meals with people.
- Make People Necessary: If you’re a leader or a parent, the best thing you can do for someone’s mental health is to give them a responsibility that actually matters. People don't mind hardship; they mind feeling useless.
Tribe is a short read, but it stays with you. It forces you to look at your comfortable, air-conditioned life and ask: "Who would I die for? And who would die for me?" If the answer is "no one," you might be living in a civilization, but you aren't living in a tribe.
Next Steps for Deepening Your Sense of Belonging
If you're looking to apply these concepts, start by identifying one area of your life where you can move from a "consumer" to a "contributor." This could mean joining a local volunteer fire department, participating in a community garden, or simply organizing a recurring neighborhood meal. The goal is to move toward interdependence, which, as Junger argues, is the only place true psychological safety exists.