Searching for the Nicest Person in the World: Why We Are Obsessed With Altruism

Searching for the Nicest Person in the World: Why We Are Obsessed With Altruism

Kindness is a weird thing to measure. We try though. Everyone has that one aunt who never forgets a birthday or that neighbor who shovels the whole sidewalk after a blizzard, but when you zoom out to the scale of eight billion people, the question of who is actually the nicest person in the world becomes a massive, sprawling rabbit hole of philosophy, psychology, and weirdly specific record-keeping.

Is it a numbers game? Like, do you win because you donated the most money to charity? Or is it about the "vibe"—that person who makes everyone feel seen?

Honestly, if you look at the data, the title usually bounces between iconic historical figures and modern-day philanthropists who are basically trying to hack the system of human suffering. But there's a catch. Science suggests that "nice" and "kind" aren't actually the same thing, and the people we think are the sweetest might actually just be the best at social lubrication.

The Science of Who We Call "Nice"

Psychologists don't really use the word "nice." They talk about Agreeableness. It’s one of the "Big Five" personality traits. If you score high on agreeableness, you’re trusting, helpful, and compassionate. You don't start fights at Thanksgiving.

But here’s where it gets complicated.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who are perceived as the "nicest" aren't always the ones doing the most good. Sometimes, being "nice" is just about avoiding conflict. The nicest person in the world—if we define it by impact—might actually be someone who is quite "disagreeable" because they are willing to break rules or make people uncomfortable to fix a systemic problem.

Think about someone like Zhenyi Li or even the legendary Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers is the go-to example for most of us. He spent over 30 years on television teaching children that they were valuable just by being themselves. He didn't have a PR team. He just... was that guy. When he testified before the U.S. Senate in 1969 to save funding for public broadcasting, he didn't use a script. He just talked. And he won.

Does Money Equal Niceness?

We have to talk about the billionaires. It’s unavoidable.

For a long time, the "nicest" label was slapped onto anyone with a massive foundation. Chuck Feeney is the guy you’ve probably never heard of, but he’s arguably the most "productive" nice person in modern history. He co-founded Duty Free Shoppers. He was worth billions. And then, he decided he didn't want it.

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Feeney practiced "Giving While Living." He didn't just give away a portion of his wealth; he gave away all of it. By the time he passed away in 2023, he had donated over $8 billion to education, healthcare, and human rights. He lived in a rented apartment in San Francisco. He wore a $15 watch. That’s a specific kind of radical kindness that goes way beyond just being polite in an elevator.

But then you have the "Effective Altruism" movement. This is a group of people, led by figures like philosopher Peter Singer, who argue that being the nicest person in the world is a mathematical equation. If you can save 100 lives by working a high-paying job you hate and donating 90% of your salary, is that "nicer" than spending your life working at a local soup kitchen?

It’s a brutal way to look at it. Most people hate it. It feels cold.

The Unsung Heroes and the "Grandmother" Factor

If you ask people in rural India or the streets of Chicago who the nicest person is, they aren’t going to name a billionaire. They’re going to name someone like Dashrath Manjhi.

Manjhi was a laborer in a remote village in India. His wife died because she couldn't get medical treatment in time; a massive mountain blocked the path to the nearest town. Instead of just being sad or angry, he spent 22 years carving a path through that mountain with nothing but a hammer and a chisel. He did it so no one else would have to go through what he did.

That’s a 360-foot-long, 30-foot-wide road.

One guy. One hammer.

Is he the nicest person in the world? He’s certainly the most persistent. This kind of "micro-kindness" often goes viral on TikTok or Instagram, but it’s the quiet, decades-long commitment that actually changes the world.

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Why our brains crave these stories

We are wired for it. Evolutionarily, humans survived because we cooperated. The "survival of the fittest" meme is mostly a misunderstanding of Darwin. It was actually "survival of the friendliest." Groups that looked out for their weakest members outcompeted groups that were purely selfish.

Oxytocin is the chemical at play here. When you see someone perform an act of radical kindness, your brain releases it. It’s called Moral Elevation. It’s that warm, tingly feeling in your chest when you watch a video of someone rescuing a dog or a stranger buying groceries for a struggling mom. It actually makes you more likely to be kind to the next person you meet.

The Dark Side of Being "Too Nice"

Can you be too nice?

Actually, yes. In clinical psychology, "pathological altruism" is a real thing. This happens when your drive to be the nicest person in the world starts to destroy your own life. You see it in caregivers who burn out or people who let themselves be abused because they don't want to "hurt" the other person's feelings.

Real kindness—the high-level stuff—requires boundaries.

Take Paul Farmer, the late doctor who co-founded Partners In Health. He was famously kind, often walking miles through the mountains of Haiti to check on a single patient. But he was also fierce. He would yell at world leaders and bureaucrats who tried to say that poor people didn't "need" expensive medicine. He was "nice" to the vulnerable and "tough" on the powerful.

That’s a nuance we often miss. We think being nice means being a doormat. It’s usually the opposite.

How to Be the "Nicest" Version of Yourself (Without Losing It)

You don't need $8 billion or a mountain to carve.

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If you want to move the needle on your own "niceness" scale, the research points to a few specific, actionable habits that actually work.

  1. Active Listening without the "Fix-It" Reflex: Most people listen just to wait for their turn to talk. The nicest people in the world listen to understand. When someone is venting, they don't say "you should do this." They say "that sounds really hard, tell me more." It’s a superpower.
  2. The "Three-Second" Rule: Before you react to a rude comment or a driver cutting you off, wait three seconds. It's the gap between your lizard brain (anger) and your prefrontal cortex (empathy).
  3. Low-Stakes Anonymity: Try doing something kind where you get zero credit. Send a meal to a friend's house without signing the card. Leave a massive tip and walk out before they see it. This detaches the "ego" from the "act."

The Verdict on the "Nicest" Title

There is no official trophy. Guinness World Records doesn't have a category for "Most Empathetic Human" because you can't quantify a soul.

But if we look at the legacy of people like Jimmy Carter—who, in his 90s, was still out there building houses for the poor—or Narayanan Krishnan, who gave up a career as a star chef to feed the homeless in Madurai, we see a pattern.

The nicest person in the world is whoever is making the smallest possible circle of the world a little bit better right now.

It might be the person reading this. It might be the guy who just held the door for you.

We tend to look for heroes in capes or on Forbes lists, but the real infrastructure of kindness is held together by people who decide, every single morning, not to be a jerk despite having every reason to be one.

Actionable Steps for Increasing Your Radical Empathy

  • Audit your "Agreeableness": Take a free Big Five personality test online. See where you land. If you’re low on agreeableness, don't panic. It just means you have to be more intentional about your social interactions.
  • Practice "The Five-Minute Favor": This is a concept from Adam Grant’s book Give and Take. If you can do something for someone that takes less than five minutes but provides a massive benefit to them, do it immediately.
  • Volunteer for the "Unseen": Most people want to volunteer at the high-profile animal shelters. Try the places that are harder to look at—elderly care facilities or prison literacy programs.
  • Stop the "Comparison Trap": You don't have to be Mother Teresa to be a good person. Comparing your "niceness" to others actually makes you more self-centered, which is the opposite of the goal.

Being the nicest person in the world isn't a destination. It's a series of micro-decisions. It's choosing to believe that most people are doing their best, even when they’re failing. It’s a bit of a cliché, sure, but in a world that feels increasingly sharp and jagged, being the "soft" place for someone to land is probably the most radical thing you can do.

Start small. Maybe just check in on that one friend who hasn't posted in a while. You never know who needs it.